Hey guys, its Jo! I'm curious, how many of you feel like no one will ever really
love you for who you are? I know I definitely, definitely felt that way for
a really long time after I was assaulted. For a long time I didn't want to go out
on a date ever again. And then I thought, okay, maybe I can do
this and so I started seeing some guys who were not awesome guys by any
stretch of the imagination, so none of that really worked out. The way that
I saw myself was damaged and broken and undesirable at best. Like the most that
anyone could ever want me for was my body, like that was it. Like I was just a
piece of meat, basically and then one day I met this guy named Brian. We met at a jiujitsu
tournament we joked and laughed and I was pretty comfortable around him.
And by pretty comfortable I mean, all of my guards and defenses were up
and I was paranoid like always, but out of all the people I met and I felt okay
around him. And so we started talking and texting back and forth he went back to
New York, which is where he lived, and over the course of about three or four
weeks we were texting all the time. We really clicked, you know, we
really got along. But I was like, this is never gonna work out, because he doesn't
really know who I am, he doesn't really know what's happened to me, he doesn't know what
I've gone through. And so I I told him in a text message one day, I was like
but you don't really know who I am and if you did you wouldn't want me. He
basically told me, I really don't think that's the case, but, you know, let's talk about
it. And so about a week after that he got in the car and drove 26 hours straight
across the country from New York to where I live and we went out on a date.
On our first date we sat and talked for six hours and closed out the bar and put
everything out on the table, which is something I never really thought
that I could do. I told him basically the short story of what had happened to me,
everything that I could say at that point, and what I felt about myself and
how messed up I was. And he told me his stuff, too, who told me where he was
coming from and what you know his damage was, and we kind of just laid it out all
there on the table. And long story short it's five years later and we are very
happily married. We got married about two years ago. It took us a while to work
through a lot of the issues that came because of what happened to me and
because of issues that we both had but we worked through them together. The
reason I'm telling you this story is because I know I was convinced that no
one would ever, ever, ever, ever love me. Really, truly, from bottom of my heart knew for
a fact no one would ever love me for me. And I think I think a lot of us feel
that way. And I just I want you to know how that's not true. I want you to know
that you don't have to settle for people who do not respect you, for people who do
not love you, for people who do not see you as who you are. There are really good
people out there. There are really good men out there. There are really good
women out there. And you don't have to settle for less because you are not less.
You are not anything less because what's happened to you. I felt like that for the
longest time like I was "damaged goods" because someone else had done something
horrible to me and now I was this wreck of a person who could barely function
but there are people who actually don't care, who actually love you anyway, and by
being vulnerable and expressing that to someone who I felt like was a safe
person, and no to anyone but by expressing that to
someone who I did feel like was a someone who I could talk to about that,
incredible things came out of that. You are not worth any less because of what's
happened. I don't think I could say that enough. You are not worth any less
because it would happen to you. Please don't allow yourself to buy in to that
lie. I know that's hard to do but the fact of the matter is that you are
incredible. Horrible things have happened to you but you are working through them
and wherever you are in your journey please know that you do not have to
settle for less. And if what you're looking for is eventually to be in a
loving, committed relationship, if that's what you're looking for, know that that
can happen. Know that that's out there. Know that that is not off the table
because of who you are, because of what's happened to you.
That is absolutely still on the table for you. I'm Jo Beckwith, please hit
subscribe if you'd like to see more videos like this. I would really love to
hear your thoughts, or stories, or comments, your reactions to this, and I
really look forward to seeing you next time.
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