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Single Not Alone Relationship Goals Part 2 - Duration: 55:53.
today as we start in this series
we have decided to limp in this series two more weeks
because as I started outlining the rest of
the six weeks I said I have more stuff to say and I really
think that God really has some more stuff to say about
things and relationships that we don't really talk about
that really are assumed that really we pray that our relationships
work but we do more maintenance and healing
than we do preparation in relationships and so I really want to help people win in
relationships because that's what God wanted to do
that's why he left us the Bible that's why he gave us the institution of church
to help us win in relationship everybody say win in relationship
and so this week in relationship goals we're going to talk about something
that has gotten a really bad rap like it's something that when you think about
it doesn't even seem appealing or good at all in most circles
but as I studied the Word of God it really revolutionized my mind
about how important that this topic we're about to talk about
is in every single person's life and the topic we're going to talk about today
is singleness you see no rules on that like Oh singleness
mmm that's the mind now you said this was a series
on dating and marriage I'm struggling in my marriage right now may
I suggest to you that it's a singleness problem
what comes to mind I've got my boyfriend here looking on even kind of
charge and you're gonna talk about singleness
I'm not even single anymore but your singleness may be the issue in your
relationship so today's message title is single but not
alone okay so I want you to just sit with that for a
second single but not alone
and as I begin to look at what the Word of God is about relationship
it started to literally stunned me how much God talks about the individuals and
not the relationship when you come into church you hear stuff like
this marriage is the cornerstone of the relationship
that God created for the human family remember that all my life something like that
but when I go back to the beginning the first thing that God created was not marriage
so when I look at the landscape everybody's go or I'll say most people's go is marriage
in relationship that is the ultimate goal that we come out there
when you see little kids and they're playing with Ken and Barbie
there what are they saying oh they're going to get married
and we learn this society-wide we learned this from church culture
you woke up into a church and be 25 30 35 and ain't you ain't got nobody
and they look at you what's wrong with you? everything okay?
now I've been seeing you spend a lot of time with your friend Jerome
what kind of relationship do you and Jerome have
mothers say to their sons come on and get married I need grandkids before
I die we say stuff we say stuff that allows people
to feel that somehow in my single state
I may not be enough like if I'm not married I'm not enough
and and God knows the desires of your heart so I'm not trying to get anybody to think
that God doesn't want them to be married and that that you can't have a
loving relationship and that which you dream about and see
but I just want I want to be real with you this this morning
and I want to let you know that singleness may be the most important time of your life
the space where you are not responsible for anybody else except yourself
the problem is most of us neglect that season trying to get to a preferred future that we
don't know about you see the look of marriage
you see the appeal of marriage you see the pictures of marriage
you see the pic but you don't know what it takes to do that
you assume you know what it takes and I begin to do some research off 50% of
marriages in America end in divorce I didn't say 15%
50 percent end in divorce what does that mean Pastor Mike?
that would be the same thing as your flight attendant telling you that
this plane has a 1 out of 2 chance of getting to our next destination
how often would you fly? do you understand what I'm saying?
this there's a 50% chance this thing is gonna crash and burn and you go die
but so many people go into marriage so haphazardly Hasina a fine and look like damp haze live
just what I dreamed but you looked on the outer you didn't know what
was on the inside and see this is the thing about marriage is
it such a strong covenant that God tries to convince us not to do it
unless you know that's what you're supposed to do
and most of us are so sick of singleness that we think that marriage will solve our loneliness
problem oh I'm coming to somebody's house today!
see you sick of you so you think you and somebody else is gonna
make you better but they sick of themselves too
so both y'all about to just be sick do you understand what I'm saying?
because you think or you thought... and if married people were honest in this room...
you see how quiet everybody? is that like nobody does everybody's home
a spouse just type live but we're coming to give truth so it will
set you free okay what ends up happening is that most people
get into marriage and they try to figure out their singleness
because they never took the time to be single so they're trying to figure out how to be
married and be single and it never will work see because when you when you get into marriage
then there's conditions that you have to do as the husband that you
have to do as the wife and but you do your own thing you got your
own car you are I N D E okay you're independent I
understand okay I understand that you are all that
but you were supposed to be all that before you became one
oh so you're mad now because you just can't spend your money in the way you want to
but that's not your money anymore it's y'all's money
for this reason should a man leave his wife and the two become
you mad because you didn't take time and figure out you single
and when you don'tknow you, you won't pick right because
you'll pick what you think you want and you have no basis on it because you have
not had the time to figure you out
now some people are in this room like Pastor Mike it's too late for me... here
she is... I get it now I understand I've been made for
two years... save me! let me help you you're stuck!
I'm not about to give you no type of remedy to that
you're stuck! unless adultery is committed now this is the
one reason God gives for divorce not we've grown apart
this is going to be tight in here I'm gonna need police escort as we leave y'all
help me not we don't relate anymore not even he hit
me I don't condone that the Bible says leave
the house Oh y'all about to be real mad if you don't
read your bible but that's not the reason to leave the marriage
see what happens is is that because people go into marriage so haphazardly
they think they can get out of it so haphazardly
but when you get into marriage... that's why divorce is so detrimental because
it's the ripping away of souls it's not just when I connected body
literally my mind will and emotion was connected with that person
now to get a divorce we are ripping that apart that's why divorce is the worst death to ever
have it's worse than actual death
Oh Pastor Mike...! I promise you it is why it's because when
somebody actually dies there's closure you can bury him you can cry you can grieve
and it's over
with divorce it is a perpetual death cuz every time you see him it's a resurrection of your
emotions I can't I can't believe I wasted all that
time on him I can he gonna be sitting over there where
you mare having a good day until this you have to talk about finances and alimony
and kids and all these different things see some of you are so ready to get married
before you do you need to talk to somebody who's been divorced
cuz they will tell you don't do this if you don't know that this is what you're supposed
to do a
and even see some of y'all looking at me like that's not scriptural
what are you talking about?
Paul told us go to first Corinthians for all the haters in the building
go to first this okay I'm a backup and do something first
because I need you to see it and I want to give it to you lovingly first
see this this series is to help you it's not to leave you in the dark
and the enemy has been tricking so many of you
because you don't have knowledge you don't understand
you don't know the Word of God so you're getting things asking God to bless
it and he said that's against my formula
like I can't bless what I gave less that you missed it
so I'm trying to show you the keys in the Word of God that will give you the formula
that God can bless
so go to Matthew 22 because when I started thinking about singleness and
all this other stuff I said okay God you're going to have to give
me a formula to explain this to people he said I got you he said they were asking
him teacher which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses
jesus replied you must love the Lord your God with all your heart all your
soul and all your mind that was the expected one that was doing when
theywere like yeah I got that I love you Jesus
there's no one else like you they didn't they didn't see this next part
coming and second as equally important so it could
have said one and one a not really second because he put it on the
side he said love the Lord your God with all your
heart your mind your soul but as equally important
that that's really not debatable it's as equally important
I want you to see this he says love your who? neighbor
but there's a prerequisite to loving your neighbor
you miss it...
we focus so much on loving our neighbor but you can only love your neighbor at the
level that you love
so you can't figure out how to love somebody else in a relationship
if you have not figured out how to love yourself in singleness
and how many of us have skipped that process and tried to learn how to love somebody
else
it's the wrong formula God has priority to what he does
so what's the priority love God love yourself then love others
let's do it again love God love yourself then love others
the reason you don't know how to give a compliment to her
because you've always felt low self-esteem and insecurity about you
my head look at these feet so I was 13 I can't run those skinny jeans
I'm short I'm fat I'm tall I'm skinny you have never been alone long enough
to love you so the first thing you do when you get in relationship
is you pick out everything wrong with him cuz you've never heard learned how to love
you you've never been isolated enough to get okay
with who God created you to be and so when you don't understand your singleness
you take it into the marriage trying to make him your make up for what's
deficient in you so you put an unrealistic expectation on another
jacked up human being and you're mad all the time because I don't
feel good enough I'm not enough and you were supposed to make
me good enough and your hair ain't Q to nothing and you put
on some weight
it doesn't matter they'll never be able to feel the emptiness
that you never became okay with and let God filll
when it was supposed to be you and him and I know this is over some of y'all's hear
y'all was like I just was trying to come here and see if I could find
me one I was trying to see what she in here
she is but she can't see you how you are you don't you don't look like what you will
look like once you get the revelation
and so she got blinders on to how you are now
but if you would allow God to have you in a place of singleness
to creating you the character the work ethic the intelligence the emotional health that
it takes to be in real relationship
I promise you God will allow the right person to come around
Pastor Mike why you say persons
because God doesn't choose your wife for you and God doesn't choose your husband for you
all pals are like the devil is a liar no no no no no I got a prophetic word March
26 2014 God said he was gonna be tall like ...God
said he was gonna be paid like... God say...
okay I hear these words all the time but this is the thing that you have to understand
the greatest thing that's more important than marriage that's more important that is your
salvation and if God would not make you be saved
he set it all up and he said whosoever will you still have a choice... even when Adam...
he made Adam he said that he presented Eve the Greek word
there means he paraded her by
liKe you like this you're like this you're like this
that's what it actually means because he still had choice
and so what many of us are doing is thinking that God is going.to assign this person
to overlook all your dumbness all your not preparing all of your everything
and and their mind God assigned them to me they will be like I don't choose you...
and I'm trying to help people no that's why your state of singleness is so important
not just to you but to God because he wants to give you vision in that time
he wants to give you purpose in that time he wants you to know who you are without a
person because if you don't know that it will put
you on a spin to always be needing someone else to validate
who God's created you to be
can I can I bust your bubble? you can reach purpose without being married
Jesus did it I'm all up in your religion right now!
like there's people in here that are like oh my god... Paul did it !
why are you saying this person like because I don't want you my big goal on all of this
I'm going to talk about marriage and dating and all that in the next couple weeks
I think I'm gonna get pastor Natalie to preach with me on marriage
I think we're gonna go in there again okay open your glass
oh I'm going to talk about all this but what I want you to realize more than anything
if you're in this room and you're not married so you're still single if you're engaged are
all still single if you're still single if you're dating you're still
single if you're courting you're still single if you think we do you understand what I'm
saying you're still single but I'm trying to encourage you there's nothing
wrong with the season that God has you
now hear me this goes against everything you've been told up into this
point you 34 you should be married what a house
in a collar an adult
I mean isn't this the narrative that keeps playing but Jesus did
equal to loving me as you need to learn how to love yourself
and then you can take from the extension of loving leader and loving yourself
then you can pour out oil and love somebody else
may I submit to you that the problem in our society
is not a relationship problem it's a singleness problem
and until people get ok being single to love God and to love themselves
their relationships will always be the place where they try to get fulfillment that can
never come from that relationship
and I want you to understand my first point is it's more important to be single than it
is to be married ok write it down
it's more important to be single than it is to be married
in the beginning God did not create marriage first
he created a single human being if we look at this building what's the first
thing they did to create this building
they laid a foundation you don't see the foundation you don't even
hear the foundation no nothing but if the foundation was not there this entire
building would collapse
I want to tell you about what I call the prerequisite for divorce
that's my why you talk about divorce so much right now
imagine I want you to know that your singleness is so important
that you want to avoid getting into relationships that will not succeed
because divorce is the worst thing that can happen to anybody relationally
will pass Michael in their life after divorce yes there is
and we're going to talk about that and we're going to help you walk through that
but I promise you if you can avoid this pits all you want to
do you know how many people we counsel who are broken
children of people who got divorced andthey parents on the christmas card look
at my family they're so awesome i do want to send in text that a kids balled
up crying on the floor be of your decisions and you not making the proper effort that
you needed to do to make sure you were in your right place
before you invited him into this relationship
and because you were lonely then you have sex if you had kids because you wanted to
feel wanted because he stopped blowing you because he
told you in the dating relationship
that he didn't really want you but you were so eager to get in a relationship
so you got in a relationship and then you didn't feel enough
so you had a baby so your whole attention became about the baby
and because your whole attention is about the baby he doesn't feel wanted
so he steps out of the relationship and goes and bees with her and then is broken
and that's one scenario of a million because we think singleness is not necessary
we think marriage is the ultimate goal now
and it could be your ultimate goal and God wants that for you if you want it
for yourself but don't go into this haphazardly
don't look for a boyfriend so you can say that your Facebook official
don't don't don't do that
I had a girl come up to me one time and just saying
it just feels like it's not for me to be in a relationship
I mean she did just like that just like it just feels like
it it's time for me to be in a relationship I said why?
I've been single two years I mean that's a long time Pastor Mike this
time and I told her I said don't do that
I said I really feel like God's trying to supply you with some stuff right now
it's trying to create you mold you all that other stuff I want you to be married
I know that it's going to happen for you you're beautiful you're talented you're gifted
God's going to do that but just don't don't just don't just just
because if you go into it like that you'll treat it like that
you end up in a marriage like that and then you'll think divorce is like that
it see it's all easy this y'all going to be walking around it
but here here what I'm saying to you hear what I'm saying to you
is that there's a prerequisite for divorce can I explain it to you okay
you can't get divorced if you don't get married do we agree okay
you can't get married cannot get married unless you're individuals agreed okay so the prerequisite
for divorce is marriage and the prerequisite for marriage is
singleness what are you saying Pastor Mike
point number two marriage is only as good as your singleness
like like if your singleness is not a good foundation
your marriage ain't gonna be the thing that builds the house
see you by yourself how you feel by yourself how you look at the world by yourself what
you do by yourself it's the foundation and whoever you are that's who you're bringing
to the marriage
you don't get change because you got finer than you ever did for one
day in a white dress and Mad makeup your makeup
was big and you got all your subs your eyebrows on
fleek and you got your suit Ian you finally fit in
that don't change your inside
so for that day it's great it's a fairy tale it's awesome it's momentous it's dreamy it's
magical
but then next week when you move to my toothbrush what I'm sorry sweetie! why did you move my
toothbrush did you use my toothbrush?? no no your didn't
you hear what I'm talking about why people get
divorced when the seeds of these things start is because
they never really knew what they were getting into okay
so I'm trying to help you right here marriage is only as good as your singleness
let me ask you a question if they knew whoever you're trying to get
in relationship with if they knew you how you know you would they
want to be married to you no no no I'm talking about you I'm talking
about how you you notice stuff do you do that don't nobody
else know you do you know how messy you are
you know how anal you are about some stuff you know that some people got a five-second
rule you got a five-minute rule we all have things that people don't know
but if they knew you like you know you would they still marry you
because that's what the process is supposed to look like when you come into
marriage can I give you something that changed my whole
life marriage doesn't improve your singleness it
exposes it
i'ma say it again cuz y'all missed it marriage doesn't improve your singleness
people think that marriage is the upgrade for them to become something
better all that thing is gonna do is pull back the
sheet on who you really are
so you have to make sure that your preparation in the time of being single
is one that is intentional where we do what spend time with God spend time with yourself
and then you can be focused on loving them when the last time you went to the movie by
yourself when the last time you took yourself on a
date some of y'all like that didn't even make sense
does it say myself on a date just
go somewhere you ain't never been before and eat and think about your life
and ask yourself questions why did I respond like that
find out about you can I give you two of the most amazing words
that you can ever have whether you're single to married but will
real help you in your singleness self-aware self-awareness is one of the biggest epidemics
in the world like you don't know how you make everybody
else feel
you don't know that you stink like we all smelled it
you like you like it's like like like you ain't even there
like he was here with me like we can smell with you you live with that
the same way we can smell you in the natural that's what gossip smells like in the spirit
we can smell your bad character we we get to see your fruit drop and it's
bitter like you've gotta become self-aware in your
singleness so that you know what you're bringing to the
marriage
most people they don't realize that nothing happens in marriage except exposure
just please write that down
I can't hide nothing from my life like even when I remember this certain time
I'm just going to go we're a hot church humble open and transparent
I'm gonna just go ahead and tell it I remember this one time you know I'm a boy
and I don't know if it's just me but as a young man
there were times where you know I went to in three days without taking a shower
you can say - but your man did it - not so quick I just plan he did but
so I got married when I was 23 okay
now I've lived with people but I didn't never live with nobody that saw
me getting out the shower
do you understand what I'm saying and I didn't know that people calculate it
how many times that you get in and you get out of this
I just didn't know like I was never there is this like yeah okay yeah and
how do you know if I get in and out of shower maybe I did a washer
some of y'all know about washer sorry I'll be a fake but some of y'all really
know what I'm talking about my wife came to me one day
and you know you're newly married everything is the right time
and I came up top I got give me a kiss
and she's like oh I mean her lips was so tights
I remembered to sing along and I'll say hey girl what you trying to do
she said nothing until you take a shower and then begin to tell me it's been four days
since you I how did you know how did you know
she could smell me but more than that she was there
I was exposed and where I could usually lie or slither my way out of it
if I was not in covenant with somebody the Covenant makes you have to be exposed
how was Adam and Eve found in the garden naked they were single people who were exposed they
had nothing to hide
so their singleness how they really were could not be hidden
my question to you is what are you hiding from everybody else
that your mate will find well we've been married 10 years you don't know
keep being married she'll find it
my wife has been able to point out insecurities in my life that I didn't even know was there
oh you're comparing yourself with them? why talk about they doing a thing I'm doing
my thing okay and it'll be like the most random moment where
I'm things you say right there Leigh is like she picked up from a six weeks
ago and she's like that bit you're comparing us on like that I will
why because God gives the anointing to your spouse to expose and uncover
anything that's not like him so if you don't work on the in your singleness
you will be frustrated in your marriage which will lead you to divorce that will be
the death that never ends
that's why In Malachi the Bible says I am the Lord your God and I hate divorce
hear what I'm saying to you Church marriage does not improve your singleness
it exposes it go to Ecclesiastes 3 and I want to read a couple of verses because
this is my encouragement today I just came to encourage every single person
don't jump into marriage because the married people we don't have to
have two weeks for them
for all the craziness that they going through and won't even say amen to
because it's that real you have people that are in marriages because
they're better business arrangements it's more convenient financially than to get
a divorce and that's not what God wanted for every person
and he can turn it around hear me when I say that if there's only one
person that can turn marriages and relationships around
it's not our government it's not just counseling it's going to be Jesus intervening in those
situations and getting the heart of an individual
see some of y'all are mad because God ain't spoke to him
he won't even come to church with me he won't even do that
and God says that the the stance of one woman in a saved household
can turn the entire household if the stance of one minute
why because in the beginning he did not make Adam and Eve's marriage
he made male and he made singles
and when he made singles that's how you want to do to develop
so that they could really be run
so I want to let you know that there's a time in a season for everything
you've heard this but I want you to know there's a time and a season for your singleness
for everything there is a season a time for every activity
Under the Sun a time to be born a time to die
a time to plant and a time to harvest a time to kill and a time to heal
a time to tear down and a time to build up a time to cry and a time to laugh
a time to grieve and a time to dance a time to scatter stones and a time to gather
stones a time to embrace and a time to turn away
a time to search and a time to quit searching I said a time to search and a time to quit
searching
I said a time to search and I said a time to quit searching
some of you are so occupied with finding him your Boaz
some of y'all looking for your proverbs 31 woman
and literally you can walk into any room with girls and they were on my proverbs
31 said and they like but y'all haven't studied
a that woman was a boss like the proverbs 31 woman was so focused
on purpose and doing thing she even need no man
assuming all around her so thirsty I don't see you make it with your clothes on
oh I know every crease and dimple every I've seen it only you showed it to me on
Instagram hear what I'm saying to you you only get preoccupied
of showing off what you have when you're not working on what
you have on the inside of you and if you're cultivating and moving what
God has placed on the inside of you I ain't got time to be taking selfies the
wet I got work in my field I'm doing what God has called me to do and
I'm running that race so hard and then God will speak to me say look over
and you'll find a man that's running as hard as you
oh yeah you start don't stop running for him you gotta keep running
and when God says look there he is but what we see
the women of God slowing down to take care of a grown child
oh Jesus held me but he got potential but he hasn't cultivated it
and what was God's instructions in the garden for man cultivate in this work this
dominate this
can I give you taping we and even talking about dating yet
but if he ain't working nothing you got to stay away
can I help you because let me say it like this
because if you take two eggs and one of them is rotten and you cook them together
the omelets still bad what we try to do is take a good egg pure
intentions right your mindset
Jesus on the mainline tell them what you want and then we bring a bad egg when he just got
potential he just had a rough pass and I can fix him
and I can I can do all of this… and he's supposed to teach you to the world
he's supposed to lead you
how can you have somebody leading you and fellas the time for passive relationship and
passive leadership is over you own two K all day you play video games
you with your boys all day you need to be working something tending to
something getting your education standard let's start
the business fail at a business start another one why?
because I'm tending to but to looking for him cuz he fine and he got likes
see this is the trick of the enemy though because you buy something that looks good
in the store but it has no functionality in real life
but it was a final sale so you commit to something you can't take back
and now you're mad cuz you gotta stay with it
just come on let's be honest but it's because people did not value their season of singleness
there's so many other things but I just want you to tell you there's a time and a season
skip down in ecclesiastes 3 and go down to verse 9 just go to verse 11
let's don't got time said yet God has made everything beautiful
everything beautiful for its own time he's planted eternity in the human heart
but even so people cannot see the whole scope ofGod's work from the beginning to the end
so I'm concluding there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves
as long as we can and people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor
these are gifts from God like this point down
it's okay to be single but not good to be alone
it's okay to be single but it's not good to be alone
well Pastor Mike I feel like you're you're hitting us on a technicality
right now because last week you said that in Genesis
chapter 2 verse 18 you said it's not good for man to be alone
that's very true you need to know what that word means
because we think it means lonely we think it means it's not good for a man to be lonely
can I give you the definition of lonely because this is what we think when somebody says
all they're all alone... they really have in their mind a definition of lonely
which means lonely is the state hold on well man help me Jesus give me one second
my computer just glitched out on me alright I'm not supposed to say that man there
it is okay lonely if sad because one has no friends or
company without companions of solidarity
so this is what we think it's not good for a man to be alone oh he's alone
the Hebrew word for alone means all in one it's not good when he looked that man he said
it's not good for a man to be all in one so what did he do he took the man and he took
out of the man a woman a man with a womb
okay I want you to see what happens here so he made man not all in one okay I want
you to see this so it's not good for man to be all in one so we're not why?
we need accountability we need somebody to help us
we need we need to be surrounded in relationship great
but this is the thing that I want everybody to see alone is not the same thing to
single single look at the definition because this
was God's idea he made male and female single means separate apart and detached different
it means unique original and distinct special it means whole
everybody shot at me whole God wants us to enjoy a season in our life
without anybody else where we are Oh complete unified one with
ourselves to be one what I came to tell you is that
the more single you become the better your marriage will be
the more unique the more whole the more different separate than everybody
that's what God wants for you he's put in you a specific DNA
that you have not given him the time to reveal to you
please let God reveal to you who he's created you to be
I know you want to be married I know you want to be Buddha
I know you don't want to spend Valentine's alone in this February
for what is the time and season that God has you in is developing your singleness
so that you can be everything he's created you to be and reach purpose
hear me people dating listen to me you need to ask God is this even worth my time right
now hear me because many of the things that we
do and we long for are a waste of time what the enemy cannot destroy he distracts
hear me what the enemy cannot destroy he distracts and many of us have been distracted in wrong
relationships and that don't even have to be a sexual relationship
or that can be friends what he cannot destroy he will distract you
with people and things and situations around you
know that God wants to use this season last point
this is for everybody in this room maximize your singleness
this I was telling some guys the other day when you don't have nobody you're responsible
for it this is time you can do stuff that will
set you up for your future like you don't have nobody telling you that
you have to be somewhere to change somebody's diaper
you can perfect what God has placed in your hands
and we squander it on trying to fit in with people we don't even know ten years from now
I will give you a prime example in my life I stopped playing basketball when I was in
the ninth grade not because I couldn't play it was because
I had found a piece of my purpose in music I quit everything you can ask my parents I
stopped playing basketball the coaches would come in ask me man come
play basketball we - did items like nope I'm really going to focus on music
for the next four and a half years okay I was in a relationship but I was still single
let me help you you can you can talk to people and be around
people and hang out with people but guess what you're still single
and we don't get that in today's culture if I'm dating you I'm married to you
oh this is what we think and even if we don't think it this is this is how we act
if we recording we are men oh I I have not committed to shut everything
down that I'm doing to become one with you because that's what
happens when you get married and the marriage has to become one so my purpose
has to align with their purpose and their dreams and goals have to line my
with their why are you asking them that after y'all married
hear what I'm saying maximize your singleness I don't care if you're 48 in girl going on
vacation by yo so get the big floppy hat the big one
walk out there do do your thing
why?... because you'll never get this time back again
customize this just not deep enough for me you want me to come out to service and do
this hear me when you get into a relationship and
you're in counseling
the first thing I'm gonna ask you is what you're doing your single life
what was your devotion life like in your single life
how much did you pray when you were single because you got all the time in the world
why I feel like I don't know what to do tonight I'm gonna
go to the movies I'm going to go to this it spend time with God get to know yourself and
then you will have the capacity to love others what do you saying as my that's not everybody's
story that's not everybody's testimony I know
but the results of not spending proper time single always ends up the same
and hurt people hurting people Pastor Mike! how do you know?
I counsel them all the time I'm up here praying which all all the time
we're getting called last night I'm thinking about committing suicide
why pastor Mike! because we've let other people define who
we're supposed to be when it was supposed to be just us and God
and if you could just get into place where it's just you and God and you learn how to
love you flaws and all and you start running after
purpose and you become who God's created you to be
you won't marry a counterfeit because you've worked too hard on you
you're worth more now see when you think somebody's going to complete
you you hurry to get with him but when you're complete by yourself you can
be choosy ah nah baby i love you you're fine but you
can't leave me you know what you have everything that i really
would like except you haven't let god do with those insecurities
and when we come together and consummate our marriage
what's in you automatically spiritually transfers to me
Oh y'all don't think so
oh there's such thing called a soul tie that's why you can't just go around having
sex with everybody that's a protection mechanism
not so that all gods don't want us enjoy if he will whiny just give us our parts on
our marriage day I had somebody to ask me that one
tufflips why wouldn't he just give us our private areas when we got
married like they just boom just appeared
I said because he's trying to teach you one of the fruits of the spirit
self-control and he knew he was gonna mess up and you was
gone saying
that's why he sent his son that's why I his grace poured out over you
but do we use his grace as if it's worth nothing know that's what Galatians tells us we have
to learn and progress and go and it's just because many of us didn't stop
and recognize the time in the season God has a sin next week we're gonna talk about
dating and courting and all that other stuff but I came to encourage
somebody this might not have been for everybody
but I promise you God spoke to you something but there's some people in this room who have
been discontent with the season of singleness that they're
in and I came to encourage you that there is
nothing more precious than this time
where you get to be with just you and God and you learn how to love yourself
maximize your singleness every young lady hear me every young man hear
me maximize your singleness
when I was in that season of just perfecting myself
I worked on my gift so much but I was able to
at a time where most people had to go work for people
I was able to start my own company and I've never had a real job
until I came to work for transformation church and miss Tammy will tell you how hard of a
transition that's been for me
what are you saying Pastor Mike
I maximized my singleness and I found some a part of my purpose
a lot of us are looking for something that will never come
until we take the time to enjoy the season that we're in
I want to pray for you
I want to pray for every person no matter what season of life you're in
some of you who are married or hearing this marriage and say okay
I need to I'm in this thing I can't go nowhere I'm stuck in this
but we've been struggling in this God maybe there's some things in me not them
because the thing in marriage is you tend to blame the other person when you're in in
a place but really that person is a reflection of
you if you're married to him so they're trying to show you something about
you so every time I'm tripping at natalie
why can't you just be on this and why can't you dot out
about God's plan I'm trying to show you you maybe there's some areas in your singleness
that God needs to work on
father I'll pray for every person under the sound of my voice
that God you're about to allow us to appreciate the season that we got
I pray for for every person who is single in this place that is not married
God I thank you that they're single but they're not alone
they're not all in one you you have you have created community for them
you've created a place a church where they can be around people
God you'll send people around them to encourage them father
but they they're learning to be content with you
and who you've created them to be father let us not skip the step that will
save us from divorce let us not skip the step that will save us from heartache
God I'm praying that our relationship goals would be based off of your word
that they wouldn't be based off of emotions or feeling
because they can lie to us but they will be based off the truth of what
your word says father you told us that we're supposed to
love you as the number one commandment and just as equally we're supposed to love
ourselves so that we can love others teach us how to do that in priority
let us build a solid foundation so that our relationships will succeed
I speak over this group of people watching and listening
that their relationships will succeed God that you are supernaturally giving them
instructions of what to do
to turn it around in the name of Jesus every broken relationship every person that's
in I'm walking through a strained relationship
every person father God that's in the season of divorce god
I'm just thinking that you can turn it around
but you're not going to start with us you're going to start with one
and I thank you that you change us as individuals and may we always be perfecting our relationship
with you so that you can make us who were supposed
to be in Jesus name we agree amen
give God some praise in this place amen
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