have you ever noticed that intellectual knowledge very often isn't enough but
when you actually notice it in yourself when you have experienced something all
of a sudden it becomes very real well this sort of thing happened to me
yesterday and I wanted to share this incident with you in the process I want
to share with you some of my favorite ways of getting rid of stress and
getting rid of anger without hurting anybody else so if you don't know me my
name is Stephan Erdman I'm looking forward to sharing more videos with you so make
sure you subscribe click the notifications button and also make sure
you let me know what you want me to make videos about now this thing happened to
me yesterday it was really unpleasant actually so I was coming to the tube
station here in London to my local tube station I was standing looking at the
board and then somebody pushed me quite forcefully out of the way to get through
the machines and I wasn't standing exactly in front of the machines but it
was really very deliberate I reacted very strongly I started basically
shouting after the guy and said if he wanted to have a fight which was just a
reaction that I had and I was obviously really angry with him he just still
walked on and just ignored me and I felt really wronged by him anyway I was on
the other side of the barrier so I went to the platform grumbling to myself and
you know having had a very very nice morning I was in an immediate complete
state of anger and it was really interesting when the train comes and
there were a couple of people around me as well I thought I'd kind of calmed
down by then and got it out of my system we go onto
the train and a few people were but slow getting on and the train was still
getting ready to leave and I noticed myself actually pushing through to
people quite forcefully to let the people behind me get on and at the time
of doing that I was thinking kind of aggressive thoughts to be honest and
then I walked through grumbling to myself in my head and then I realized I
had done exactly almost what this dude had done to me five minutes ago I become
so aggressive from being exposed to aggression that I had behaved in ways
that weren't really typical for me at all now I've had a pretty nice life
overall I have to say if that one push can turn me into such a maniac myself
what happens to a person that experiences that of abuse on a daily
basis for example at home at work at school what if you live in an
environment like that all your life I know this sounds really ridiculously
like naive or something but you know you can know these things logically but when
you notice it in yourself you really really get it you get the idea that
people are products of their environment unless you really experience that and
notice that in yourself it's really hard to empathize so what if you grow up in
that sort of environment what if you live in that sort of environment it must
be absolute hell I hope I will always remember that so I don't just write
people off as assholes who are angry or frustrated with the world or they've
just experienced or horrible things in their lives and then I thought well how
do I get rid of this angry state I thought for a few moments and then I
thought okay let's go to number one number one technique for me when I have
experiences that I don't like that make me angry frustrated whatever is usually
I try to smile at the whole thing the whole thing see the funny side that
sounds very basic but it really really is a perspective taking for anything
alright you can can see the funny side in anything and it gives you such a
great step back and such a great perspective on things so I did that I
live for wealth it's hilarious I'm acting like a prick frankly because some
other prick just acted like a prick to me I mean that's like do you surprise
yourself there oh and look at you when you were doing all that pushing through
the people and all that stuff oh that's ridiculous look at you you know short
guy with a big head you better do not do that again though you get lamps by
somebody right so I did that and it kind of worked but didn't work enough because
I was really in quite a strong state so what's the second step I usually take if
I really need to get myself out of the state well I do the following I picture
myself a year in the future and picture myself looking back on this
incident if ever you want to get a new
perspective one from a perspective of chilled Ness and wisdom just imagine
yourself a year in the future and look back at yourself at the time nothing
nothing seems that important to stay upset and
that really helped me actually that really helped and the last thing I did
actually to get myself into a great state and this is my go-to one now to be
honest it's so quick and intuitive I say to myself well I'm still alive that's
good news I'm alive I should be grateful for that
yeah so that's what I did and after that I felt great again so number one find a
way of smiling at the situation laughing at the situation number two picture
yourself a year and in the future and look back at yourself and look at the
whole situation and you know think about how significant it seems to you right
now and the last thing just you know be grateful you're still alive
Frankie you should be and I should be old all day every day because hey it is
a gift if you'd like to learn more from me about some of the things that
I have also discovered on my journey from being a pretty shy guy to a pretty
confident guy then go to my website there's a link here there's a link here
there's a fantastic report waiting there for you and there's a lot more than
waiting for you you just have to find out what it is but it will help you to
get more confident develop my self-esteem have more success in your
life and more happiness in your work and your life and with the people you're
with I see you soon
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