There are certain patterns that people do who succeed in certain patterns that
people do who are frustrated or overwhelmed and I want to share it with
you what those patterns are because this is not about just giving you some little
time planner cuz that's not gonna change your life normal piece of software but
will change your life is learning how to control and direct your own mind and
emotions and doing it a way that really gives you what you want versus what
maybe your environment may be demanding from you right now I hope that sounds
like a journey that's enticing to you because if it is I think that the skills
you're gonna get here will give you a lot more than what you expected when you
sign up for this course by the way you signed up for a program here called more
time and yet you know there isn't any more so why would you sign up for a
course like that well probably because inside of you you know that there's more
time for what matters for you if you restructured your life a little bit you
may not know how to do that but a part of you knows that that's really possible
or you wouldn't even take it a program like this in fact I have a really
important question for you and that is what is time I mean think about it what
is it what would you say if somebody said what is time people have all kinds
of interesting answers that they all it's a calendar it's it's it's a measure
of activity some people say but I would say to you that time is nothing but
emotion time is a feeling and we forget that and that's why we get stressed
because we don't think about our feelings we create to-do lists and we
focus on activities and very often we get all of our to-do lists though we
cross up all the activities we're still not fulfilled and many times we've got a
bunch of movement but we really don't have any achievement much less these
good feelings that we're pursuing I mean think about it
time you've had experiences you live war time flu right where ours may have felt
like minutes especially if you're with somebody loved or you're doing something
that really juiced you as a person something you're really passionate about
so you and I got to get clear that if we're gonna have more time we really
have to have as more of the emotions we deserve that we're gonna have to learn
how to direct and shape our own lives in a new way and by the way the promise has
been given to us throughout the years was that
technology was gonna give us more time right how does that work for you so far
I don't know about you but I found that as I my life became somewhat more
successful it actually became much more stressful and with technology instead of
that freeing mace in some ways and it's my own fault that technology almost
became the master of my life I found myself limiting and living a life that
felt limited by all these reactions I was having what I mean by that is work
no longer was a something I did at the office work with something that followed
me on my belt with my deeper it showed up in emails wherever I was in the world
and it showed up on my cellular telephone and I was constantly reacting
and then wondering why gosh I have all this activity and I have no time and I'm
not really feeling very happy even though I'm doing some good things the
reason is because there is one thing and it's not technology that'll change your
life and you know what's great about this one thing is it's one of the most
powerful forces in your life and the good news is this force this power is
something you've been using your whole life and that is the power of focus just
by changing what we focus on we change literally what we feel while you focus
on to a great extent determines whether you're succeeding or whether you're
failing in your business in your career with your children in your intimate
relationships as well so focus really determines the quality of our lives
whether or not you're fulfilled or they're not you just feel stressed is
really a matter of focus and ultimately your achievement level is clearly
directed on where do you focus where do you put your energy or emotion your time
but the challenge is that most of us don't direct it consciously in fact a
lot of us are incredibly stressed because we don't consciously direct our
focus extraordinary people who produce extraordinary results have a different
way of thinking opah is a different way of thinking it
models what it is I learn from being around several million people some
famous some not so famous but maybe more profound and what they've done for the
world and for themselves I think Wow in business and in life the
way you focus your mind will determine your success or failure now here's the
challenge most of us don't direct our focus
because we're in reaction to environmental stimulus what that means
in technical terms made simple is there's three things in our life that
tends to grab our focus and make us react rather than really live our life
on our own terms what first gets your focus things that
have the potential to give you pain things that you kind of worry about
things that you are challenged by things that you think could be a real problem
that tends to get our focus and we tend to call that worry worry is an achiever
word for fear we're fearful that something Bad's gonna happen so we put a
lot of attention into it and sometime it's at the expense of things that are
much more important like our family or health sometimes worry about things
that'll never happen and I think about what happens for most of us is fear gets
our focus it's natural it's our survival instinct to avoid pain but we've got to
break out of it if we want an extraordinary quality of life and think
differently and I'm going to show you some ways that you can do that for
yourself the second thing that tends to get our focus is things that can give us
pleasure especially immediate pleasure why well think about it we're stressed a
lot of the time we want to get out of that stress so we look for something to
make ourselves feel good cuz that'll happen real quick and very often we pick
things that make us feel good for the moment but don't really make our life
better long term very often what you'll do to feel good is go clean off your
desk right I used to do this all the time I got all these projects do I don't
know where to start them overwhelm Oh my desk is messed up
let me just arrange everything here cuz you know what I can complete all that
and feel really good about myself because truthfully self-esteem and I
hate that term because it's so overused but a person's sense of identity our
sense of certainty about our lives our sense of worth is tied directly to our
feeling that we control events not events control us we feel like events
are controlling us our self-esteem drops our level of stress increases so a lot
of us do is try and get control of it by doing little things or by doing
something we're really good at you know let's say you spend a lot of time in
your work and you don't spend much time with your kids because at work you feel
like you're in control gosh kids are a challenging thing it's so different
they're so unique you think you got all handled and they surprise you with
something new right so very often we try to focus on those things we feel good
about sometimes it's the expense of the
overall value of our life and again we'll react
the third area that tends to get our focus if we don't put the stakes in the
ground at front and say here's what I'm gonna focus on here's what I want for my
life I sure enough we get tend to get caught up in other people's demands and
in our life becomes about responding to other people's urgencies and reacting
you might say but Tony you know my supervisor is gonna do that or my boss
is gonna do that yes but I think you're gonna find when you learn this OPA
system you're gonna be able to get your boss to get results they never had
before you're gonna be able to do more for them than they've ever seen before
and you'll be able literally help them to manage you and themselves more
effectively if you have a supervisor if you're in charge quote-unquote and
either you gonna find that there's gonna be a great deal of fulfillment and you
won't be responding to everybody's demands there either does that sound
like it might be useful I can tell you something as long as you responding to
the things that concern you the potential for pain or worry as long as
you're trying to get a quick fix of feeling good as long as you're spotting
the people's demand you're living a life of reaction and you won't get the level
of fulfillment much less the results that you really deserve so how do we
turn that around well first of all you understand the price of focusing on what
you fear and I'll give you a fun simple example years ago I had I took up a fun
sport which is auto racing and when I first went to this racing school the
very first time you get there here's what they do with you they put you in a
car and they say we're gonna show you what an automobile is capable of and
what you can do so you get next to this racecar driver and they take you through
this course and they've 140 miles an hour straight at a wall and a corkscrew
turn and your hearts beating outta you and they do it and by the end of this
thing they look at you and say you know and four days you're gonna be able to do
this and you think to yourself you're joking there's just no way this is gonna
happen but they say let me tell you the secret the reason you're scared right
now is you don't know what you do if you got
out of control you don't know what you do if you got caught up in a spin and I
said so before you ever learn to drive the most important skill that you got to
develop is learning how to come out of a spin quickly and when the man was
telling you this I thought what a great metaphor for life because we all do
really well when things are going well it's when we go into a spin when things
aren't working out well when things that are stress will happen that we try to
get lose control of the direction of our lives and start reacting and pretty soon
our fear tends to cause us to end up on the rocks or in the wall so to speak so
I said okay well what's the secret he said it's really simple Tony here's how
it works here's how you come out of a spin focus on where you want to go like
this left hand turn we're gonna need to make don't focus on the wall in front of
you if you focus on what you fear the wall guess what happens the minute you
focus on it you steer in the direction of what you focus on and your life or
your car moves that direction if you focus on what you want you will
automatically steer everything in the direction of what you want he said you
were hearing about you know somebody driving down like a a desert highway and
there's like a telephone pole every quarter of a mile on this guy's driving
his Porsche 100 miles an hour and hits the telephone pole I said yeah he goes
all the time he said you know why as soon as people start feeling out they're
out of control they focus on what they're afraid of hitting and they drive
right into it I thought that's a great metaphor for life he said so all you got
to do is don't get scared even if you do get scared you will even though you're
fearful focus on what you want not what you fear I said no problem I teach this
stuff how do you think I did not very good because what happened was he was
smart he got me driving for a while and I was concentrating I was waiting I knew
any moment he's gonna do this but see life doesn't give things to you doesn't
give you challenges when you're ready for them it's like just when
everything's going great life comes by and gives you a little test that's like
when our creator says it's time for you to grow and you're not ready for it so
you're gonna grow the most right now and so sure enough I'm driving for 10 or 15
minutes that waiting for us to push the button after a while I kind of just get
caught up in the rhythm stuff you know kind of like getting caught up in your
life and all sudden II pushes the button we start spinning out of control what do
you think the first place my brain goes Wham right at the wall I'm driving right
into it he is smart though he wants to save our lives he grabs my head and
forces me to look in the direction we need to turn and I'm fighting because I
want to see myself die fortunately keeps holding my head now as
I turn and focus on where I want to go realizing what do I instantly do I turn
in the direction of what I want I got a question for you though do you think the
minute you turn and you do the right thing because now I'm doing the right
thing I'm turning the right direction do you immediately get rewarded for that
see we have a thing called momentum that's still going on
we're in what we call lag time right now where we're doing the right things but
we're not getting the reward because of the old momentum it's kind of like you
ate like heck for 30 years and now you've eaten well for two days and you
go gosh I'm not getting the result yet keep focusing keep eating the right way
and it'll turn but you got to keep the faith you can't look back at the wall
because that's what you want to do you want to look back and go it's not
working I want to see the failure I want to see the crash course Lee keeps
holding my head and what happens sure enough we turn and a few seconds later
the wheels catch and we turn we missed the wall by about two or three feet my
heart is beating out of me he goes did you learn I learned that I learned no
took three or four more times of doing this of him forcing my head wise before
I finally got it then I got a very important question for you though if you
focus of where you want to go are you guaranteed not to have problems
guaranteed not to hit the wall the answer is no you could still hit the
wall but let me ask you an alternative question if you focus on what you fear
if you focus on the problem if you focus on the challenge ahead of you and you
drive yourself into that are you gonna crash the answer is a hundred percent
yes so there's no guarantee in life but if we focus on what we want our outcome
which is what opus stands for the first oh and oppa is outcome what do I really
want if we focus on that our chances increase geometrically we focus on our
fear we got a real problem so the obvious question becomes okay well then
how do I control my focus Tony do I just think positive well let me give you a
clue I don't believe in positive thinking I don't believe you should go
to your garden and say there's no weeds there's no weeds there's no weeds and do
a bunch of affirmations I got news real weeds will take your garden I believe in
something really simple I believe in seeing life as it really is
but not worse than it is see most people say well I'm just a
skeptical person I'm just a mystic person what they're really saying
is I'm fearful I don't want to get my hopes up I don't want to be disappointed
again but I'm here to tell you in life you got
to see it as it is and not worse than it is you can't try and protect yourself or
you protect yourself from success you protect yourself from joy you got to get
your hopes up to make life work so see it as it is but not worse than it is
second you have to see it better than it is otherwise there's no drive to make
things better you got to get a vision for what you want what's the outcome
what's the vision for your life otherwise you'll get caught up in the
two dews of daily living and you'll say gosh you know I don't know what it is
but I feel like my life is about making a living instead of really experiencing
life so what if you get a view of what your outcome is of what you really want
Wow the game changes for you and then once you know how it is and then you
have a vision for how you want it to be then the obvious third step to
succeeding is you got to make it the way you want it and what we're gonna show
you with opah planning is how to do that now from a practical perspective how do
you actually change your focus in a second well the way you and I do it is
by asking questions you see when we say we're thinking what we're really doing
is asking and answering questions in our mind on a consistent basis that's all
thinking is thinking is the process of asking and answering questions and if
you ask a lousy question what are you gonna get allows the answer so if your
question is how come I can never lose weight your brain gives you an answer
cuz you're a pig or if you say how come I can never pull this off your brain
says nah cuz you're a schmuck cuz you're you're not ready because you came from a
dysfunctional family or whatever allows the answer comes to a lousy question
what would be a better question around this idea of losing weight well you
could say well instead of how come I can't lose weight how could I lose
weight challenge that question it's a little better but you probably say I'd
go on a diet and violence are painful so you probably don't want to do that what
would be a better question how about how could I lose weight and really enjoy the
process that's a different outcome a different result than just losing weight
it's losing it and enjoying it now if you ask how can I lose weight and enjoy
the process your brain will give you a different answer because you're asking a
better question now it might say you know what I've always wanted to learn
horseback ride or play polo or what ever did you love to do now maybe I'll
go do that all I love to play basketball what if I could buy basketball I'm not
even thinking about losing weight it'll happen automatically if you want a
better answer for your life you get asked better questions and you want a
better plan and you better ask better questions and by the way this is true of
some of the most riveting aspects of your life because all human beings lives
are driven by the questions they ask some people succeed in life and they ask
the question you know what's wrong with me
they wonder why they feel depressed all the time or why can't I figure things
out it to be very careful about the questions we ask herself does this make
sense I hope it does whether it's a Martin Luther King asking a question
about his dream and how we can have equality or whether it's a fun quote or
a powerful quote or whether it's a question of a leader like Robert Kennedy
but we know the famous quote said some people see things that were done and
they ask why I look at things that were never done and asked why not if you want
to change your life you've got to change your questions and if you want to change
the experience of planning you gotta stop asking that silly question
everybody asks where they're gonna plan something I used to do this all the time
what is the question we all ask we're gonna plan something what do I need to
do that is the wrong question so why is that a lousy question why do we not want
to start out or trying to plan our day or a week or a month or a life by saying
what do I need to do because you don't know the answer of what you need to do
until you decide what it is you want what is it you're looking for in your
life I mean if you think about it we've seen all these new time management
systems come out and I've used them all and they all added some value to my life
but none of them really helped me to achieve at the level I now achieve and
they certainly didn't help me to really be fulfilled
they were about making up my to-do list of all the things I needed to do and I
found myself at the end of the day even when I crossed everything off very often
still not failing fulfill because a lot of times I got everything done but I
didn't really achieve anything and I've learned in my life not the mistake
movement for achievement see a hundred years ago 200 years ago maybe he's okay
to make it to-do list because life wasn't that complex thing today is
you're the mom you're the dad you're the husband you're the wife you're the lover
you're the community activist you're the top P performance athlete you're the
marketing manager for the company you're part of the the coach of the little
league team and what you need to do depends on you
being a mom right now are you being a business person are you being a lover or
you being a best friend are you being a daughter who you be so and we can't just
try and manage all these roles also of our lives and expect we're gonna have a
life that's fulfilling well there's so much going on we need a simple system
that will help us before we try to design a plan for our time to really
design a plan for our life and that's what you're gonna do is starting today
and it's not perfect and it isn't something that's rigid it gives you all
kinds of flexibility but it allows you to decide hey these are the years of my
life I'm really gonna focus on I'm gonna make sure I put a certain amount of my
time to focus right here and my family right here and my physical body saw the
energy I want right here and my emotional well-being right here is big
marketing manager right here in my business and empowering the people that
I work with so that we have a great environment that we don't just get
results but we have fun so we're gonna show you a system for how to do that and
once you have the plan for your life then your planning will not start with
that silly question what do I need to do that's a lousy question you're gonna ask
a different question you're gonna ask three of them and in a
very specific order and I'll just tell you upfront it's really simple they OPA
word stands for the three questions before I tell you the three questions
let me tell you what anyone who succeeds knows you find anyone who's successful
in any area life business finance in motion they're happy they're fulfilled
here's what they know number one they know what they really want most people
don't know what they really want they don't know what we call their outcome
their result and when you don't know what your outcome is when you don't know
what you really want life can be really frustrating life becomes a bunch of
things you have to do it doesn't give you any juice you don't have a clear
direction for your life and without a clear direction very often you end up on
the rocks of life it just you just don't have the guidance you don't have that
sense of it my life has some kind of meaning the second thing that people
succeed know is not only what they want but why they want it
because the reasons are what drive us as human beings that sense of purpose
that's where the emotion is that's where the juice is not just getting a target
but knowing why we want that target that's what will get you to have the
energy to actually follow through and then the third question they know is
what do I need to do to make that happen and people that know what they really
want and know why they want it can usually figure out how to make it happen
because they got enough to drive it enough clarity about what they want so
opus stands for those three questions in a very specific way let me tell you what
open gives you freedom because what happens in life is most of us think our
to-do list has to get done many times you don't have to do your whole to-do
list most of us know that 20% of what you do gives you 80% of your results in
life doesn't it and so what we're gonna show you how to do is to have more
flexibility have a lot more choices and get more results with more fulfillment
by taking it through these three questions and I want to point something
out hope is not a time planner again it isn't a book if you open this book you
go it's got a calendar and it's got an A through Z and so do all these other
programs or here's a nice piece of software I thought oh but oppa is a
simple system of thinking that will change your focus which will immediately
change how you feel it'll change the direction you're heading it'll turn you
in a different direction and it'll get you a different set of results not only
is it a simple system of thinking that changes direction and results but it'll
also make you feel fulfilled just think of it the only difference between work
and play is your purpose lot of people when they're playing do things that are
really actually hard work but they don't call hard work because they say it's fun
because they decided I want to do this this is a cool thing this is competitive
or this is creative or this is strong and everyone I know who succeeds their
work has become play for them they have really found a way to enjoy what they do
because they found an empowering purpose activity without purpose is the drain to
your life it's a drain to fulfillment it's a drain to achievement so we're
gonna get these little simple questions and we're gonna show you how to use them
in a practical way this book will guide you to get greater results in greater
fulfillment that's the whole process of what
is really about part of what Oprah's gonna do is you're gonna put the stakes
in the ground to say these are the most important things in my life and I'm
gonna focus on them daily and you're gonna start noticing things it'll bring
you closer to what it is you really want if you focus on a to-do list guess what
you get more to-do lists more like a fulfillment more things they have to do
I don't want your life to be about being a human doing I want to be about a human
being where you experience what you really deserve and what you really want
this is a chance to really get fulfilled to change the emotions I mean would you
like to feel more joy on a daily basis more passion more excitement a greater
sense of confidence and certainty that comes from knowing that you're in
control of the events not the events are in control of you I want you to have a
system that is your system your life management system that's what open
really is so I want to invite you to join me now come on this journey decide
right now you're gonna do whatever it takes to master this because I can tell
you that in my own life I feel so many great privileges and I'm sure some it
must be luck there's luck in anything but a huge part of it I can tell you
honestly has been focused I focused on what I knew was most important in my
life and I've created what I want for my life which may be different for you but
I want you to have what you want to have not what the environment is demanding
from you not what your next email is requesting but what your heart and soul
deserves and desires so to do that let's start with an opah so get started you
know the outcome the outcome is really simple right now you gotta sign up I'm
committed to mastering a system for managing all my life so my personal life
and my professional life work together so nothing has to suffer and I believe
it's not only possible I'm committed to that result the next question is why why
are you gonna become not just good at this but outstanding
what's your reason that's what we ask you to do right now and I want to thank
you for letting you dump so much on you in the short period of time here you're
looking forward to hopefully meeting you someday soon but for right now let's get
focused and let's get this life management system called oppa in your
life now and begin the journey towards a life of inquire
results and extraordinary fulfillment you know we're living in a time in which
stress seems to be almost epidemic especially for achievers everybody talks
about being stressed especially those people are really trying to do something
meaningful really accomplish something I want to make sure that your drive for
success or to make a difference really leads to the joy and the fulfillment the
excitement the passion and the pride that you're really looking for in order
to do that whether or not you feeling fulfilled or whether you're feeling
frustrated to a great extent has to do with where do you spend your time what
zone what dimension of mind emotion and focus to spend your time in for example
do you spend a lot of your time really looking for distraction looking for a
way to escape the stresses that are already there in your life or do you
spend more of your time getting seduced by things that really aren't important
but they appear to be urgent and you kind of delude yourself a saying well I
got to do this right now and really truly you don't have to do it right now
but you add that additional stress or do you spend your time in drama where
you're doing things that really are important and they're really urgent you
got all these deadlines after you met right now maybe some of the deadlines
that are stressing you out now because things weren't handled earlier on or
have you managed to spend the majority of your time in your life and what I
call the zone the zone of fulfillment that dimension where you are doing
things that are really important but not really urgent and as a result you tend
to be at your best because you've taken away the stress take a look at what I
call time targets let's start on the outside as this assembles now the
outside circle here is really where most people spend their time it's in escape
in fact it's doing things that are not urgent and they're not important I call
this the dimension of distraction or for short you just call it the escape
dimension this is what happens for most people they have all these goals and
desires they don't know how to manage them all so they look to escape how
drinks and alcohol go hang out go watch a television do something that for the
moment is escape now is that all bad and all wrong the answer is no but if you
spend the majority of your time there you won't be fulfilled as a person and
your stress will actually increase now the next circle closer into the target
is that area that we call the dimension of delusion that's because this is the
area where you start doing things that are urgent this is where you spend your
time but they're really not that important and what fits in this category
emails I mean these days all some is good is type something and they can send
is a 50 people with one keystroke so a lot of us end up with a lot of emails
that don't really they they beg us to respond immediately but would you agree
with me a lot of it is just things that seem important but really aren't
important at all they're just urgent because there's this demand that says
handle me I'm here on your screen the more classic examples the telephone I
mean the phone rings and you're in the middle of something really important and
now you run to grab it and break the pattern of your focus and your feelings
now if we go to the third ring the one closest to the bull's eye that's urgent
and important items that's the dimension of demand that's where something says we
got to do this right now we're gonna have to spend time there and a good
portion of your life if you're an achiever is spent there but if you spend
too much area too much time too much focused too much emotion in the area
called demand and that dimension you're gonna be one stressed character so
you've got to have a certain percentage of time here but not more than you need
and life will give you plenty of urgent and important things to deal with
without you not doing your part where do you want to spend the majority of your
time you want to hit the bull's eye as often as possible that bull's eye is the
dimension of fulfillment that's when you're doing things that are really
important but they're not urgent right now
now what fits in that category your health most people wait till they have a
health problem to try and deal with it and very often it's too late we got to
make that something that even though it's not urgent we make import and we
make that the time we spend no matter what we spend time and what's important
so one of the secrets here is to identify where do you spend your time
are you spending 20% your time in the zone 60% of your time and urgent and
important called the dimension of demand and then 5 and 10 oh ever and the other
two are you spending 50 percent of your time in the zone well let's do some time
accounting of last week go for it let's do it right now so what did you discover
where are you spending your time the optimum time the goal is to spend close
to 50% your time doing things that are important but not urgent at least 40% of
the time if you're in that 10 or 20% I know you're gonna be stressed and you're
not going to be as effective as you could possibly be does that make sense
people my company will tell you I believe that anything we really want to
get down to for comitted there's a way to do it there's some form of lovers
someone else could speed it up for someone else we could trade with we
could do something was we can make it happen
boy if you could do that your life would feel more fulfilled is it singing a
dance class walking on the beach time alone time with a friend I don't know
what it is but what does it feel maybe write those down guess what we'll bring
you to the zone day after day after day oppa when you ask that question what's
the most important outcome to me it'll cause you to focus on what's most
important to you not just what's urgent but what will bring you there is this
life management system and this focus on outcomes so have I soldier yet you got
to make sure you focus on spending as much time as possible doing what's
important and not urgent get yourself in that 40 50 60 % I'll there and you're in
for a great time with a lot less stress using amount of joy thank you
I'll bet I know where you want to spend the rest of your life
in the zone right well for me this is the zone what is it for you now let's go
back to Tony in Fiji and he's gonna show you just as he's shown me how to create
the life plan that will place you in the zone
so I proceed
now we're going to talk about categories of improvement what we're really talking
about is creating a life plan for you now if you don't have a plan you fall
into somebody else's plan it's the old thing of if you fail to plan you plan to
fail it's an old overused phrase but it's really true without a plan your
focus goes to what you fear something that could give you pain or it goes to
something that gave you pleasure for the moment so you can get out of this stress
or it goes to something that someone's demanding for you we want you right now
to begin to create a life plan in order to have a life plan you got to have
something you can manage think of this as a wife management system if you're
gonna manage your life you got to look at what are the areas of your life that
you really need a manage in order to succeed and be fulfilled we call these
areas obviously areas of management there's only two primary heirs your life
you really have to manage area one is obviously your personal life and we're
gonna take a look at what are the areas that you need to focus on on a regular
basis in your personal life in order for you to not only be fulfilled and have a
life that really works and your professional life there are a lot of
different things you got to look at if you try thinking about all of them at
once it's a bit overwhelming but virtually everything you do in your
business life or career can fit into four five six or a dozen categories
think of it as areas you're gonna focus on one reason we call them categories is
we don't want to just focus on them these are areas that we want to
continuously focus on and do things to improve them now if you don't come up
with an area and actually define it life tends to grab your focus so for example
in your personal life what would be an area that you would need to continuously
focus on and continuously improve if your life's gonna work well wonder your
life would have to be your physical vitality and health if you don't take
care of that if you don't focus on it does it get better automatically you and
I both know the answer is no you have to put focus in it and you also have to
measure it the same thing is true of your finances finances don't get better
by just hoping finances don't get better without focusing on it we don't focus on
our finances tend to stay where they are get worse same thing is true of
friendships relationships same these true with your family sending is true of
your spirituality if you don't put a folk
what you believe spiritually and making sure you're measuring that you're really
aligning yourself with your creator or whatever you believe and you don't feel
that same level of fulfillment in that area of your life so we're gonna put the
stakes in the ground and say you know what I don't have a life plan that's
gonna require me to continuously measure my progress in each of these areas and
I'm gonna set specific goals in each of these areas and when I go to plan my day
instead of saying what do I need to do I'm gonna say what's most important for
me to achieve because unless you come up with those categories your focus will go
to the urgencies at the moment and you'll be pulled out of the zone and you
won't get the results or the fulfillment you deserve think of it this way you
cannot manage what you can't measure so you got to stop and measure and say this
is what its gonna be in this is how I'm gonna achieve it in fact and a good
metaphor for it is this a little Wheel of Life it's just a simple thing and
let's have you watch us do it and then do it for yourself like for example in
this person's case we'd say where is this person in these six areas their
physical body where are they compared to where they
want to be if the dot in the middle here is zero and the edge of the wheel is a
hundred percent of where they want to be where are you are you on a percent are
you a ten physically or you 5 or a 3 or a 7 as I say this person says well I'm
about 70 percent of what I'd like to be ideally okay well let's figure about 70
percent of the distance and draw a mark right now just like either we're good
emotional life or a second where are you emotionally compared to where you want
to be emotion means how much joy how much passion how much excitement it's
probably about 30 percent of where I want it to be well then draw a line of
it's approximately 30 percent like we're doing here let's look at the next step
let's say your financial life where is it converting want it to be oh well I
have very big goals I'm about 10% of where I want to be there someone else
may say no I'm 90% of where I want to be okay well mark them let's look at your
family life what's that like you go no that's really good I'm really happy with
that that's about 80% where is your spiritual life I'd say if
I was honest to myself that's about a 50% of where I really think it needs to
be and lastly you say what about your career you say well my career is doing
pretty good hey you let 90% connect each one of these sections so they become a
continuous outline form this shape right now look at the shape we've got you if
this was the tire on the car called your life
how would your car drive well for most people it would be a rough ride the
categories of improvement having these areas you're not just gonna focus on
continuously but you're gonna constantly improve have specific goals form plans
for it and that your life revolves around will not only take out of
overwhelm but it'll give you the power of balance because for most people to
think of balance as a passive thing balance gives you this well-roundedness
that allows that tire to go stronger and faster and produce greater and greater
results while being more and more fulfilled we have two ways of management
what are they they're of course our personal life and then our professional
life let's just take one of them let's take your personal life and let's come
up with what are the areas of your personal life you're gonna continuously
focus on and improve to get the idea okay you don't do this perfectly and you
can change this it only take you two or three minutes go ahead and do this right
now
now that was pretty easy wasn't it I mean it doesn't have to be perfect but
you'll tend to notice that most people in their personal life have very similar
categories because there aren't that many areas of our life that we really
need to focus on for our life to be fulfilled and to be successful and for
it to be balanced a professional life tend to vary a little bit more because
it depends on your profession so now we're gonna make that set of categories
you know making sure I constantly improve my skills as a manager or as a
salesperson or a marketer as an accountant or as a lawyer as a doctor
this is an area I gotta constantly improve to be happy to be fulfilled to
be successful that's an area I gotta constantly focus on I can't just
improve it once in a while I've got to think about it and measure my
improvement so I continue to have a competitive advantage and so they feel
good about my life we want to keep that tire of your life round and strong so
like a snowball eating only moves smoothly and rapidly but it gets bigger
and bigger so let's decide what you're gonna focus on in your professional life
what you're gonna constantly improve so this part of your life is as fulfilling
as your personal life as well so let's get started why don't you go ahead and
start right now
so how'd you do I'm sure not perfectly I know I was far from perfect meaning my
first list of professional categories but you could make it better you're
getting a start here roles are the places the way you think about yourself
I guess I should say as you're working in this area so for example if you go I
got to work on my finances it's different than you say you know I need
to work on being my financial genius today because when you're feeling a
financial genius that makes you smile I put you in different places in these
areas of your life these categories of improvement let's juice them up let's
say add the area of your physical body maybe we'll put a word or two they're
like world-class fitness and then we want to create two or three roles or
maybe more who are you you're an athlete you're maybe an Adonis
right something humorous something don't you see up something will make you smile
something you'll say wow when I think about that I want to go there I want to
spend time in that particular area of my life I'm a pilot for example I think my
pilot is interesting but when I go you know I'm a licensed source of passion
that makes me laugh that makes me smile that allows me to share that feeling
with other people in a different way let me give you some specific examples of
how this could affect you I had a woman who came to one of my seminars here for
a more time and she was really frustrated really depressed she raised
her hand she goes well what if you got categories but you don't want to make
any categories cuz you hate your job I said well you know let's talk about that
for a second what's your job she goes along a schoolteacher and the look on
her face made you know that she wasn't too terribly thrilled about it so I said
well what do you associate to being a schoolteacher what are your roles as a
schoolteacher because when you have an idea of who you are you come up with
these beliefs about what you are she goes well I'm a disciplinarian she goes
I'm in this I'm basically the enforcer of the state's will I'm a babysitter cuz
their parents never took care of these kids and so I have to constantly
discipline him babysit him but she was rather harsh I said ma'am I understand
how you feel but can I ask you a question
why'd you really become a schoolteacher yeah obviously wanted to be that at one
time well I don't know I thought I could make a difference
I said what did you really want to be what did it being a schoolteacher mean
to you back then what was the role of that and she said I guess I wanted to be
a developer of the human spirit he watched her whole face just all of a
sudden changed I said then why don't you just do that why don't you be a
developer the human spirit she said well I said if you were a developer of the
human spirit versus a teacher what would the rules of the game be who would you
be what would you do she goes well I was a developer the human spirit I'd have to
love every child in my class their whole face change just start a smile I said if
you were developing human spirit what else would you have to do because well I
have to make learning fun I'd have to get to know the parents not make them
wrong and help them to understand their own children and what's happening in
their lives and she went on and on and she just I said so how do you feel about
your job she goes I got a career it was that second of shift that happens when
we change what something means words have power they change our biochemistry
you ever had somebody call you a particular word and felt the change in
your body words have power the right words they change what things mean to us
give you one of the quick example woman comes to one of our seminars very
frustrated stressed out hates our job what are you I'm a stockbroker on Wall
Street what do you do as a stockbroker well you got to go cold call a bunch of
people trying to give them give your money and then then you got to follow up
all the time and I just hate it I said okay well you can change the job but
before you do you know what the problem of changing jobs is you take you with
you you always think if the company's the problem and you go to a new job it
feels ok for a while but pretty soon you're back for the same problems I said
what we got to do is change your mentality or psychology I said did you
ever enjoy this she goes well in the beginning I was kind of excited about it
and so let me ask you a question what are you really being what would be a
role a way of describing what you do that would make you grin from ear to ear
what do you really wanna be she goes well I want to be a mover and shaker and
I said well you're on Wall Street you work for one of the biggest firms in the
world you're doing quite well that's maybe that's what you are and all since
you smile and she goes damn right I am I said what else are you when you're
making cold calls forget yeah who do you want to be when you
communicate with people on the phone and she said a treasure hunter she said I
want to search for treasure I want to help people I want to get them
to give me some money and go use it to find treasure for them and help them
expand their treasure and she just her entire psychology change so what I want
you right now is I want you to take each of these categories you have both in
your personal life and professional ice and I want you to juice them up maybe
make the name of the area a little bit more juicy but most importantly come up
with two or three roles that make it fun to be there little things make a big
difference let me tell you what opens gonna do for you what most of stuff you
know but maybe you have your own words for it or maybe at times you do this and
other times you don't all I'm doing is giving you a set of words a system that
you probably already do at times but by knowing what it is you can do it
consistently and not hope some of the time you feel good and sometimes you
don't if you're heading in this direction right here and we make a
little 10 degree shift with oppa that seems like nothing but we take that out
a week from now a month from now six months from now you're in a totally
different destination in your life radically different difference and
language and identity or a big part of that but start this process right now
I'm using up your life by figuring out what are the roles you're gonna play in
these areas that are so important your life called categories improvement let's
do it right now
got to ask those questions so now the big question is how do we turn this into
a system well a big part of the system to be able to manage something besides
knowing the outcome knowing why and the action item is created a visual trunking
system now what the heck does that mean a visual chunking system only give me an
example when we are given tons of information really quickly we get this
little bit of information this this and this this this and this and this this
pretty soon a human being gets overwhelmed but if we find a way to
connect various things through a period of time we can find a shape and pretty
soon all of these items might become three things may get the idea of what I
mean by this so instead of all these individual items make you crazy chunking
is grouping together individual items resources ideas or thoughts so that by
grouping them together they become more useful and part of it makes it more
useful is by collecting together you're able to focus on them and not become
overwhelmed how many follow that box say yeah so I'll give you an example and
let's test your chunking ability real fast I'm gonna show you a series of
letters and what I'd like you to do when I show you those letters as I want you
to immediately shrink those letters what I mean is I'm gonna show you very
briefly and the camera should only look straight on here when I go to show you
and I want you to write them down well you remember I'm gonna give you a very
brief time to look at it okay you're looking up on the screen a probably the
easiest way here we go okay write it down
raise your hand if you're finished raise your hand if you finished okay great so
I'll turn it around now and then see how accurate you were how many got them all
accurately in order let me see your hands
keeping hands up so we've got less than five percent of the room probably three
percent of the room how many you got well how many letters are there I think
there's 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 how many got of the 11 letters you got
at least seven or more of them accurately okay how many got less than
five accurately how many got less than of less than five okay good so what if I
said to you now how did you try to figure this out how did you try to
remember this somebody someone who succeeded and did it sorry did you get
them all okay tell me how you know what I want to see is how he chunked it now
what is chunking me he didn't try to get the whole thing at once he grouped it in
some way I'd be willing to bet that's why he was able to retain it so how did
you chunk this so he junked he chalked it into three chunks okay and that
helped him to remember it okay give me a nice job yes Tony I didn't write them
down I just flashed on it I know what the word is you know what the word was
yeah okay what's the word Albuquerque that's correct what if I wrote it this
way how many of you would be able to write it down
how many of you wrote it up that way you would have been able to write it down
immediately and they see a show of hands sure could you recognize Albuquerque
because Albuquerque is one chunk for most of you but it was all these things
that were random most of you weren't able to get it many of you tried and
failed let's see why you did now are you from Albuquerque do you know anybody in
Albuquerque I'm why would he be you'll see that when it hasn't it looks nothing
like Albuquerque because when something becomes part of your focus like when you
buy a certain car or you buy a certain outfit and all sudden you see that car
outfit everywhere well once you do that all that information was always around
you but it's become important so part of your brain sees anything that would
relate to it that's also what happens when you have a clear outcome when you
have a clear outcome suddenly you start seeing Albuquerque with other people see
nothing but a mixture of stuff you start seeing with your outcome how to achieve
it where no one else can figure it out because you have a clear outcome I did
this once in a seminar a couple years ago and the lady said I know is it's
Albuquerque I said do you live near Albert she said no every live no Susan
no I said you have a lover and Albuquerque don't you issue it no I
don't and everybody saw our faces in scrunchy star allow she goes well I do
have a lover how do you know how to love her because I know the person either had
that proximity or something they had an emotional Association to to unscramble
something with no help in a matter of I gave it to you for five seconds when you
became emotionally associated to something or you have clarity of
something be important your brain figures the whole thing out that's what
the values of outcomes are that pretty powerful
now how many could have gotten here come on how many gonna get Albuquerque here
if I did this way you could write no letters and say hi cuz it'll be chunk
differently so who else got it though this way as more than one yes how did
you chunk it I mean it you cook crab
crab crab crab so she chunked it how many times three times and she chunked
it auditorally instead of visually how many see that by the way do you see a
pattern both these people had succeeded chunked it three times somebody else I
sort of started off by just doing what this dude do back there did which is
just sort of like one at a time I sort of put a ubq al and then just the grass
or the same to works through that down so you stole chunks to
she still did chunking in threes is most common for most people someone share
this with you other day chunking they chunk like this one two
three many when you get beyond three four most people as many so three is
usually and if you try to chunk it as one unless you have the reference for
Albuquerque you are in bad shape who did not get who did terribly honestly cuz
you know terribly is nothing wrong with you it's just that your strategy for
chunking was not effective so sir how did you try to chunk it I tried to chunk
it EU BQ l except no I tried to do it in three but the in my language rules you
always follows Q and so I got all confused about halfway through it okay
so what happened is he tried to chuck it with three but he let his belief systems
he calls his rules determined that this couldn't be and that fried his brain so
what you have to understand is if you're gonna get a job done if you're gonna
take a dream and turn to reality you're gonna have to chunk it into a bite-sized
not so small you're overwhelmed I can't remember it and not so big that you're
overwhelmed that's that what oppa is is a visual chunking system I'll give you
one more let's see what you've learned I'll give you one more example real
quick here are you ready this one's easy ready put your pens down
I want you remember this in your head this is a chunking thing here we go
how many got it let me see your hands okay how many did not get it okay
those who got it raise your hand something on your trunk - yes ma'am I
read it out loud to myself I said that says Tara burry me her up Perini three
syllables three chunks she is the auditory three chunks give
her ham nice chat oh come on give her a real hand who else got it yes ma'am how
did you do it I'm a linguist so I tend to look for the
word that I know in any of the languages I've studied in this case so the point
is the ideal chunking system is three if you have no reference if you have
reference for something you can chunk it and a larger chunk for example driving
your car your stick shift now is one chunk for most of you in the beginning
it would've been useful if you're gonna sit okay there's the things I do with my
feet it's things I do with my eyes and things I do with my hands
put patents for most people's ago I'm gonna deal I gotta put this way I do
this to listen they have no chunking system in the very beginning is so
they're overwhelmed but very quickly unconsciously your brain begins to chunk
three things and eventually when you're familiar enough it becomes one thing
it's like it all come together in your head and you'll be able do things no one
else can do come any further so what I did with the human brain is chunk the
entire psychology of what makes a human being do what they do so that's what you
cannot do with your life as well for this process
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