News on Youtube Dec 22 2017

You'll Destroy Your Relationship If You Keep These 5 Toxic Behaviours

Knowing which behaviours are toxic and how to avoid making these mistakes, can save your

relationship from unnecessary hardships.

All relationships have their problems, and some are easier to work through than others.

But if you really want to keep the love alive between you, then avoid these 5 toxic behaviours.

1.

Responding irrationally to feedback, instead of hearing them out.

Communication is an essential part of any relationship.

If you can communicate clearly and openly, most of your problems in the relationship

should be resolved easily.

Perhaps you have forgotten to pay the bills on time, or the things you said you would

do, haven't been done.

If your partner reaches out to you and mentions these things, instead of getting angry and

responding irrationally, hear them out.

They are coming to you with these problems because they notice something isn't quite

right, and they care.

Responding irrationally can be caused by several things, like stress, worry, or simply feeling

overwhelmed with all the things you must do.

But that's what are partners are there for- to share our burdens with us.

First, we need to create an open dialogue with our partner so they know they can come

to us in the future if any issues arise.

Then, we need to remember that it's not a personal attack if they come to us with

a problem, they are just trying to help.

2.

Not considering your partner when making plans, or financial decisions.

If you act like there is only one person in your relationship, then it won't be too

long before that becomes a reality.

Being in a healthy relationship requires consideration for the other person.

This doesn't mean you need "approval," but rather that discussions should be held

when making plans or important decisions.

If you can't discuss it at that moment, then think about how your choices would make

them feel.

If you know they are saving money to go back to school, and you happen to see a new TV

you would love to have, thinking about their needs and discussing the matter will benefit

you both in the long run.

3.

Being codependent.

We all want to be near those we love, but there comes a point when it can border on

codependency.

If you don't have your own friends, hobbies, likes and dislikes, then your partner is essentially

in a relationship with themselves, and that isn't going to last very long.

It can become suffocating to be around someone 100% of the time, regardless of how much you

love them.

Dr. Seth Myers writes on Psychology Today, "In a push to fuse with their partner, some

people will forget about their own interests, hobbies and goals, things that may have attracted

their partners in the first place.

To break codependency's false bond, make a list of how and with whom you spent your

free time prior to your relationship, a worthwhile exercise.

Try monitoring the amount of alone time you have, as no couple should be spending all

their free time together.

Pursue an activity on your own, such as going to the gym or take a fun class at your local

community college.

If you've lost touch with friends you genuinely care about in favor of spending time almost

exclusively with your partner, regain your identify by making an effort to meet a friend

or two for an activity or a meal."

4.

Continuously picking a fight.

It might not be intentional, but always nagging your partner about little things will eventually

cause fights between you.

We all have our flaws, and being in a relationship with someone helps to illuminate them.

However much it might annoy you that they left their socks on the floor again, is it

really worth an argument?

Learn to pick your battles wisely, and your relationship will last much longer.

5.

Not being honest.

Honesty doesn't just mean telling the truth.

It also means having your actions match your words, and being clear about your feelings.

Dr. Lisa Firestone writes, "Honesty in a relationship can be tricky because it doesn't

mean saying every little critical thing to our partner that pops into our head.

We have to know our real intentions and what our real truth is.

This means we have to know ourselves.

We have to consistently ask ourselves, "Am I being honest?

What's my motivation?

Do my words and actions really match?"

If we say we really love someone, there should be actions we take that, to an outside observer,

would be viewed as loving."

"When our actions are honest, we can create genuine closeness."

Making a relationship work isn't always easy, but if you put effort into it, and keep

these points in mind, it should be much easier.

Well, that's the 5 toxic behaviours that can destroy your relationship.

So, really cool information isn't it?

I'd like to see your opinions on this and please do share your thoughts and experiences

in the comments below!

Don't forget to give us account subs and watch other amazing videos on our channel.

Thanks for watching!

For more infomation >> You'll Destroy Your Relationship If You Keep These 5 Toxic Behaviours - Duration: 5:20.

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4 Relationship Habits That Are Toxic - Duration: 3:53.

4 Relationship Habits That Are Toxic

Your relationship may be perfectly normal and natural, but is it truly living up to

its potential?

In this video, I'm going to show you 4 toxic relationship habits that seem normal, but

turn out to be damaging your relationship.

If you find this information is helpful to you, please consider to like this video and

subscribe our channel so you won't miss any update in the future guys!

1) Dropping Hints

What is obvious to you is often a mystery to your clueless and beloved significant other.

If we want something, it is unfair to expect our partner to read our mind.

No matter how connected they may seem, we are bound to come up disappointed when using

this strategy.

We often do this to avoid appearing overly demanding or unfairly critical.

Ironically, however, the effect usually ends up being the opposite.

Stating a desire kindly but clearly may feel uncomfortable, but it is far more healthy

in the long run.

2) Getting Jealous

Although a little bit of jealousy is normal, it should not be romanticized as we all too

often tend to do.

Instead, it should be seen for what it is, a sign of a weak relationship.

We may feel flattered when a partner is jealous.

We see it as a sign that we are valued.

However, it is also an indicator that there is a lack of trust, an unhealthy need for

control, and a worrying amount of insecurity.

Jealousy, though natural, is not a healthy part of a relationship.

It is a problem that needs to be addressed.

3) Not Taking Emotional Responsibility

Bad feelings are truly difficult to deal with, even for the most stable and functional of

adults.

It always seems easier to shift the responsibility for them to someone else.

A loving partner is usually the perfect target for this.

All too often, we will blame our partner for emotions that are not their fault.

For example, we may be stressed from blowing an assignment at work, come home to find the

house a mess, and become furious with their lack of responsibility.

Before blaming our partner for a negative emotion, we need to trace it to its true source,

which is often ourselves.

4) Keeping Score

When we feel insecure in our own behavior, we often hold on to past mistakes our partner

has made as a way of validating ourselves.

For example, we may decide it's okay to flirt with a co-worker because our partner

forgot to buy us a birthday gift.

This behavior is normal, but damaging.

It shifts our focus away from working through issues in a healthy way, and instead encourages

us to look for flaws in our partner and promote our own sense of self-righteousness.

"Normal is an ideal.

But it's not reality.

Reality is brutal, it's beautiful, it's every shade between black and white, and it's

magical.

Yes, magical.

Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something," wrote Tara Kelly.

Just because a behavior is normal does not mean you have to resign yourself to it.

Don't be scared to break the mold for something better.

Well, that's the 4 toxic relationship habits that seem normal, but turn out to be damaging

your relationship.

So, really cool information isn't it?

I'd like to see your opinions on this and please do share your thoughts and experiences

in the comments below!

Don't forget to give us account subs and watch other amazing videos on our channel.

Thanks for watching!

For more infomation >> 4 Relationship Habits That Are Toxic - Duration: 3:53.

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What Holding Hands Reveals About Your Relationship - Duration: 2:41.

THE WAY YOU HOLD HANDS WITH PARTNER REVEALS SECRETS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

One of the main body parts that we use the most is hands.

Our hands allow us to interact and communicate with people, even without words.

The people with whom we have a special bond whether it's our partner, children or friends,

the gesture of our hands with them reveals the true secrets of our relationship.

A lot of oxytocin is released when we hold hands of our partner, which is more than kissing

as per a survey.

The emotional quality of every relationship is defined through the physical connection

you have with your partner, and one of them is the way you hold their hands.

Holding hands reflects your formality, familiarity, dominance, and even submissiveness towards

your partner.

Action speaks louder than words, hence, in any relationship holding hands speaks a lot

and reveals the secret behind the actual bonding nature, you have with your partner.

It is one of the most powerful signals humans give each other of affection and interest

and that is touch.

1 The Down-Facing Palm

This gesture reveals that the person has a stronger personality, who always takes initiative

and are also very decisive.

They have plenty of affection for their partner and are also very protective and dominant

about the relationship.

2 The One-Finger Hold

The person who holds one finger actually express their tenderness and reassurance for their

partner.

The secrets for this gesture is that both are independent, spirited people, each with

their own passions and interests outside of the relationship.

They enjoy their space and individuality, but both are connected with each other strongly

and confidently.

3 The Interlocked Fingers

Those who interlock all of their fingers when they hold hands, actually have a passionate

relationship.

They have crossed the infatuation stage and are more level-headed towards each other.

They have endless care for one another and are also very comfortable, vulnerable and

honest with the relationship.

4 The Over-The-Shoulder Hold

People who hold hands over-the-shoulder are very protective of their partner.

It reveals the secret of a more strong, intimate and proud relationship, who don't care a

damn to display their love for each other in public.

5 Hand Wrapper

When people hold hands in this way, it actually is a sign of protectiveness and a stronger

bond, but chances are that it could result in codependency.

Hence, both need to be a little extra cautious into which direction the relationship travels.

For more infomation >> What Holding Hands Reveals About Your Relationship - Duration: 2:41.

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle relationship TENSION as Queen leaves future royal 'hurt' - Duration: 10:32.

For more infomation >> Prince Harry and Meghan Markle relationship TENSION as Queen leaves future royal 'hurt' - Duration: 10:32.

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Sex and Power: How an Old Relationship Is Changing—Anita Hill to Harvey Weinstein | Esther Perel - Duration: 7:48.

Sexuality and power are tightly interwoven, and this is not the first time that people

have taken on the abuses of power that are inflicted upon people through the currency

of sex.

Anita Hill, not that long ago, took on Clarence Thomas.

But maybe what changed is not so much the accused as much as the accuser.

That perhaps women today have enough 'massa' and enough power themselves to withstand the

forces of denial.

And so the system, for the first time, has to reckon and has to act with consequence

to the allegations that are being made.

The big question is not why is there anything more happening today; it's that people have

not spoken out—women, children, lots of people who often were disempowered and humiliated—did

not speak out because of the fear that they would not be believed.

This is what is changing.

That the burden of proof is switching a little bit and a certain norm is shifting.

One of the very good examples for me when I look at shifting norms is corporal punishment.

For a long time parents and teachers could hit their children.

It was part of discipline and part of childrearing.

A norm shifted that said: "This is no longer possible.

This is actually not a means for education.

This is not a decent pedagogy.

This is harmful and this is violent."

Similarly something is shifting in the conduct between men and women.

It's a given that power and sex are intertwined, but sometimes they are intertwined in a way

where it becomes power to, and therefore there is a power to feel affirmed, to feel desired,

to feel strong, et cetera, versus a power over, and that is a form of humiliation, of

oppression in which it is very little about sex and a lot more about violence.

So I think first of all, we're using the word 'misconduct' and we are lumping in that

word a number of different behaviors.

We are talking about harassment, we are talking about assault, we are talking about rape.

These are very different experiences, degrees of experiences, first of all.

Second: I think that before we only focus on misconduct we need to talk about male sexuality,

male sexual conduct rather than only the misconduct.

There needs to be a context to this.

So it is true that in a different context women of a certain generation accepted a certain

kind of banter or a certain kind of conversation, vocabulary, sexualization, use of power that

they themselves participated in as well, that allowed women to actually be told all kinds

of things for which they would have had probably different reactions than the younger generation

today.

It just was part of the deal.

That's what you have to contend with, and you know that some of them are vulgar and

some of them have utter poor taste and some of them are creepy, and you just manage it.

You manage a culture like that.

I think what is shifting is people are no longer willing to manage it, to take this

as the granted norm and then hope that on the periphery of that there are other kinds

of behavior.

I think what is shifting is that the periphery is coming to the center and a whole context,

a whole ecology that was seemingly accepted or tolerated is no longer tolerated.

And those shifts take place culturally all the time.

Where we put the boundaries, what we consider is transgressive, what we—you know there

is a difference.

Women have known the difference between receiving a compliment and being degraded.

In one they feel enhanced, they feel beautiful, they feel appreciated, they feel recognized

for the efforts that they have put into making themselves look good.

In the other they feel icky, they feel dirty, they feel spoiled; they know the difference.

It's a visceral difference.

And then there may be a range there where sometimes they're not sure.

But that is a small part of not being sure, with major territories of clear delineations

between desire, between a compliment and between degradation.

In the last weeks I have actually conducted a number of large-scale conversations about

sex and power, men and women, and where we go from here.

And I think that what needs to happen is a place where men can speak about their confusions,

where men can speak about their vulnerability—safely—where men can speak about their self-doubts at times

about really knowing what do women want, the way that Freud asked the question a century

ago, and a space where women can safely speak and be angry.

The shift is for men to have a safe space to be vulnerable and for women to have a safe

space to express their aggression, a safe space to express their anger, their resentment

over the amount of acceptances of micro-aggressions that they have had to deal with.

And at this point a roar is coming out of them.

It's no longer okay.

But to only create a legal environment in which people just go after the other and punish

them and reinforce more distrust, I'm not sure that's the society we want to live

in.

We want a society in which people can intuit each other better, in which people are able

to experience the ambiguities of iterations and reiterations that are part of all relational

systems.

We don't want to have women not be hired because we are suspicious of them, and in

which women and men are constantly afraid of each other, suspicious of each other and

looking out for the way that each of them is going to take advantage of the other or

is going to lash out at the other.

We do want a culture in which there is a greater sense of understanding, a greater sense of

empathy, in which men understand the experiences of women and in which women understand the

experiences of men.

And that requires an enormous amount of contact and communication, and from very young on,

from little children on, that requires a culture that does not from the beginning create pink

and blue, with a sense that none of these two can ever understand each other.

And my work is about creating those conversations, those dialogues, those places in which men

hear women in a way they've never listened to them, and where women hear men speak about

their experience in a way that men have never even uttered, not even to other men for that

matter.

And it is that socialization process that I take on in my work around gender, gender

socialization, and a larger culture of men and women, and the fluidity in between.