The relationships are hard work.
Even the most successful couples admit that keeping their love alive isn't easy. However, if
if you're willing to put in the effort, you can build a long-lasting relationship.
Communicating Effectively:
Number 1: practice active listening
This means preparing to listen to hear the message of your partner and not to prepare your defense.
Find a time and place where you can be without distractions and focus only on what your partner is saying.
Try to set aside your negative perceptions about his or her actions, so you can focus on the conversation in real time.
Number 2:
Use "I" statements:
Communication is not about blame, it is about responsibility.
"I" statements start with how you are feeling about the behavior or action of your partner.
It means you take ownership of your feelings, and also suggest a way to improve the behavior.
"You" statements frequently blame the other person.
Avoid making these kinds of statements.
Number 3:
Use a soft, warm tone when speaking:
Your relationship should be based on mutual respect and love, not fear.
A soft voice reflects the love, compassion and understanding.
Meet your partner's eyes and speak from a place of love and understanding.
Number 4:
Be respectful to your partner always:
Save harsh words, even during arguments.
You can't take back what's been said.
When you say something hurtful to your partner you send the message that a disagreement is equivalent to a war.
you are on the same side
Remember that.
Number 5:
Discuss issues upfront instead of letting them grow in size:
It is a relationship myth that a solid relationship does not require work.
Be prepared to put the work in.
You can accomplish this by addressing any problems with your partner before they rear to their ugly heads.
you will never be perfect nor can you expect this from a partner.
Communicating problems with the idea of tackling them as soon as they come up help you establish a strong foundation.
Number 6:
Be willing to compromise:
Pick your battles wisely.
Not every issue needs to turn into a battle.
There will be some that need to be talked out, others that go unsaid and finally some that just
end up not being important compared to what you gain from the relationship.
Compromising may include writing out a pros and cons list to points of disagreement and talking through the list objectively.
Number 7:
Work through problems as a team:
Relationships are about the "we" and not the "I" or "you".
Focus on honest communication to work through problems together with room for each of you to give and take.
Learn from one another instead of working against one another.
For example, if you need a sum of money to pay for a big purchase, you can sit down and find ways for both of you to contribute.
Each of you can put money into savings for a span of time.
Number 8:
Make your values and needs known to your partner:
Be sure to clearly define what you need from a partner and what you intend to give to your partner.
Follow through on your obligations to your partner and speak up when he or she isn't doing the same in a constructive manner.
It is a myth that you do not need to tell your partner what you value and need.
You are mistaken to think that simply because your partner loves you, he or she should know what you need.
Number 9
Get on the same page about finances:
This is one area that can be very dangerous if you ignore it until it becomes a bigger issue
Make sure you share financial values early on in the relationship.
If you want to save for the future while your partner lives for the moment, this may not end up lasting long term.
Number 10
Date each other no matter how long you've been together:
Giving your partner the same level of respect and attention you did from the start.
Many relationships end as one partner just stops respecting the value or feelings of the partner
and fall into old habits they would never have done early on.
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