Thứ Sáu, 6 tháng 7, 2018

News on Youtube Jul 7 2018

Working on Your Relationship?

Explore The Type of Relationship You Have With Your Partner.

There was a time when definition of relationship was one: two people in love and their bond

was nurtured by a commitment of staying together till the last breath.

But these are changed times as now we can categorized relationships in different parts.

Let's explore the type of relationship you are in.

Every individual has a certain taste and we keep looking for a person who befits the figure

that our mind has made.

Couples can be crazy and sweet at the same time.

So let's see what are the different types of relationships in today's world.

But before we tell you about that, please subscribe, click the bell and watch this video

until the end to know the complete information.

#1 - The On and Off Couple.

Oh in this one, many of you will find yourself doing the same.

Couples get into a fight in the morning and by the time its lunch hour, they get back

together.

Its like they have different opinions on everything but they cannot live without each other either.

This is kind of funny.

#2 - The Motivational Couples.

This one is the most favorite.

Its like being each other's rock and supporting one another in every go of life.

Couples happen to inspire and encourage each other to achieve what they want.

Such relations are long lasting than other kinds.

#3 - The Married Couples.

I find it funny and assuring at the same time when sometimes my boyfriend calls me his wife

already.

These are the couples that really behave as if they are married.

They finish each other's sentences and make each other does crazy things for one another.

Such couples look too adorable.

#4 - The Fitness Couple.

The couple that gyms together-stays together!

These are fitness savvy couples that like to spend time working out together and make

a majorly stunning couple in appearance.

#5 - The Hipster Couple.

These couples are people who don't give a shit to the world.

They always sway in their mood and stay happy.

This is the coolest category of people who will eat that no one else will, who will visit

most pathetic places where no one else will.

Yet they make a beautiful couple as they inspire you to enjoy life to the fullest, without

the foe fear of the world.

#6 - The Long Distance Couples.

Couples who have maximum phone sex, long night talks, major fights and instant breakups and

patch ups- such couples are called long distance couples.

They are sweet and sadists at the same time.

But these kinds of people will give you the strength and teach you how to stick on to

a relationship.

#7 - The Too Comfortable Couple.

These are the people who just don't mind anything.

They are cool if you are using the toilet and they will just step inside.

Having non-stop and unwanted conversation and then make out and sleep, yes guys, these

are really too comfortable.

Well in all the couples Psychology Articles, there is one thing common and that is sending

an "I love you quotes".

Girls keep collecting love quotes for him and the guy seems to enjoy all her efforts.

World is full of crazy couples, so find out who you are!

Really cool information isn't it?

I hope you enjoy this short video, if you have something on your mind, please share

your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Don't forget to subscribe to our channel and watch all our other amazing videos!

Thanks for watching!

For more infomation >> Working on Your Relationship? Explore The Type of Relationship You Have With Your Partner - Duration: 4:14.

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10 Real Life TV Couples Who Ended Their Relationship With Getting Divorced - Duration: 5:34.

10 Real Life TV Couples Who Ended Their Relationship With Getting Divorced

For more infomation >> 10 Real Life TV Couples Who Ended Their Relationship With Getting Divorced - Duration: 5:34.

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Are You Ready To Be in A Relationship? [RIG 16] - Duration: 32:13.

Hey there, this is Clay with ModernLove.Life and this is the relationship inner game experience.

Now in this week's episode, I want to talk about something which is the idea about whether

or not you're ready for a relationship, whether or not you're ready to start dating, whether

or not you're ready to create a positive emotional connection with another person.

And oftentimes people will ask me these sorts of questions like, Hey, am I ready to start

dating?

Am I ready to, you know, contact this person and go out on a date with them and all that

sort of stuff.

And this really boils down to whether or not you are relationship focused or connection

focused.

Okay?

Now, people who are relationship focused tend to have a very difficult time when it comes

to creating positive emotional connections.

Now, keep in mind what we teach here, the, the core message is that the quality of the

emotional connection is the most important thing when it comes to whether or not you

will end up in a relationship as opposed to whether or not you will have a great connection

and all that stuff, right?

Because the emotional connection is what a healthy relationship is based on.

It's not as if you have a relationship and then suddenly the emotional connection is

there.

It's not as if you convince somebody to marry you and then suddenly you're living this amazing,

wonderful life where the two of you are madly in love with each other.

It's not as if you finally get a girlfriend and then suddenly you're having, you know,

amazing, wonderful sex and life is perfect, right?

Sure.

Maybe that happens if the emotional connection is in place, but if the emotional connection

is not in place, then the relationship is not going to happen.

In fact, there's lots of people who are in relationships where there is no emotional

connection at all.

And, they just don't want to be there.

You know, either they have been married for like a million years or something like that

and they've just kind of checked out the passion died and they're just kind of quietly putting

up with each other or they're people that are in relationships and you know, again,

the passion has just died.

It's just left and there is kind of, you know, sitting around waiting for somebody to come

along that they can have an affair with or something like that.

And so you have to be aware that it comes emotional connection first.

Relationship Second, if you are one of these people who is relationship focused, you're

kind of doing it the other way around.

You want the relationship, you want a relationship, you want a date, do you want a girlfriend

or a boyfriend?

You want a union of some sort to take place.

And as this happens, you are overlooking the emotional connection, you are outcome driven.

You are not looking at what it takes to create that outcome.

So for example, if you wanted to get a boyfriend, okay, let's just say you wanted to get a boyfriend

and you were relationship focused.

You say, I am a single woman, let's just say, and I would like to get a boyfriend, so what

do I do?

Okay, there's a guy, I want him to be my boyfriend.

Nevermind the fact that you've never been out on a date with him, nevermind the fact

that you have no idea if he's a jerk or loser, a great guy or whatever, between you have

no idea if the two of you have any sort of emotional connection whatsoever.

You have no idea if the two of you share any values you want to be in a relationship with

that guy because he looks nice.

I don't know.

Maybe he said something clever or whatever, right?

And you want him to be your boyfriend.

So you're relationship focused.

You're putting the relationship, the outcome before the process that leads to what you

actually want, which is a high quality relationship.

You don't just want to be in a relationship with any old person, right?

You want to be in a great relationship with somebody who has similar values to you, who

you can get along well with, who you can be harmonious with, you can have a great connection

with you, can explore life together with and have a great trip through life together with,

and if you start to put the connection on the back burner because you're focused on

the outcome of the relationship of the marriage, of, you know, getting back together.

If you've gone through a breakup or separation or something like that, you know, anything,

you're really putting that before, the idea of having an emotional connection.

And when you do that, you are really sabotaging the emotional connection.

Making much more difficult for you to actually get the outcome that you ironically are most

interested in because you are not focusing on what actually creates that outcome.

Remember, the great relationship comes from a solid emotional connection.

And when you don't pay attention to the emotional connection because you're trying to get the

outcome, then that is when a lot of difficulties and struggles and challenges will really start

to appear in your life and in your dating life, okay, what do you want to do instead

is is not be relationship focused, but to be connection focused, okay?

And when your connection focused, you're not so concerned about the outcome, you're not

so concerned about whether or not this guy is going to marry you, whether or not this

girl is going to be your next girlfriend, whether or not he's going to want to be your

boyfriend, whether or not the two of you are going to get back together.

You're not concerned about that because you're simply living in the present moment.

Having an emotional connection with another person and exploring who that other person

is, right?

Because if you are relationship focused, if you're outcome focused, you're projecting

what you think that other person is onto them.

You're projecting what you hope that they are onto them.

You're projecting all of your hopes and dreams onto this other person without ever bothering

to find out, are you a decent human being?

Are you able to have a good conversation with me?

Do we have any shared values?

Can we actually get along together for more than like one hour and have it be, you know,

a great, rewarding, uplifting, interaction with one another and these are questions that

a connection focused person would absolutely want to know.

Whereas a relationship focus person wouldn't really care as long as it lead to the outcome

of, you know, the relationship, the boyfriend and girlfriend.

They're getting back together, the marriage to whatever.

What you really need to do, if you want to have a successful relationship in my humble

opinion, is to let go of attachment to outcome and not see the other person as a means to

an end.

Like, Oh, I will use you as a means for me to get a relationship so I can feel better

about myself.

I will use you as you know, because you're the nearest girl around who happens to have

a pulse and I will try to use you to get a girlfriend so that I can feel better about

myself.

You're the nearest guy around who happens to have a pulse.

Therefore, I will use you as a means to an end to get a relationship.

To get a boyfriend so that I can feel better about myself, your nearest person around,

with a pulse.

So I'll use you as a means to an end so that I can get a marriage so that I will feel better

about myself because I think that marriage is going to make me happy for some reason

or other.

Right?

And so that feels bad.

Number one, that feels bad to the other person.

They don't want to be a means to an end for you.

They want you to simply just enjoy being with them as they are, as I'm sure you want other

people to do with you.

You know, if somebody was to date you, you'd want that person to enjoy being with you as

you are, you know, you wouldn't want that other person to be using you for sex or something

like that because they feel insecure about their, you know, whatever.

And they think that having sex with like a million people is gonna, like make them a

pickup artist or something like that.

You want to actually have somebody who enjoys and wants to be with you for who you are in

this moment, and when your connection focused, you can actually do that with other people.

You actually have the space to enjoy being with people and connecting with people based

off of who they are in this moment and as you start to do that, you'll start to strengthen

the connection.

As the connection strengthens, you'll be able to have more and more of these moments where

you're together more and more of these moments where you're building up a strong emotional

foundation and the stronger that emotional foundation becomes, the stronger your connection

becomes, and as that develops, as that strengthens, its going to do what all strong connections

ultimately do in the end, which is to result in a conversation that says, hey, it seems

like we get along really well.

Do you want to be my girlfriend?

Hey, it seems like we get along really well.

Do you want to be my boyfriend?

Hey, things have been going really well for us.

Would you marry me?

Things like that, right?

Those naturally come up after having a great high quality emotional connection, so don't

put the outcome, don't put the relationship ahead of the connection.

Make sure that you develop the connection first and foremost and what their relationship

handle itself.

Be Connection focused, not relationship focused.

Now with that being said, let's go over and see what sorts of questions we have this week

from people who are enrolled in our courses over @ Modern love.Life.

Okay.

Our first question is from Vixen.

Vixen writes in and says, hi clay.

I basically sent him a text that you gave me some advice on a while back about wanting

to connect with him and that I had no ulterior motives, etc, and I entered it with asking

him if he was comfortable exploring being friends.

He didn't respond, but after I saw him, he has been more responsive.

Now my grandfather passed away so it had a big impact on me and I did tell him about

it.

He gave me his condolences even though I think he is still being distant.

I was texting him and I was in his area a few days ago, so I asked if he was around.

He never responded, but I inquired today asking him if we were cool and everything and he

said that we were and then after I asked about why he didn't get back to me.

He said that he was busy with graduate school work.

He said that he has been bad with texting and apologize, but he still didn't invite

me to his graduation party.

I know that I have to focus on empathy and how he feels.

And do you have any tips about how it can be more transparent with him?

I guess so that he isn't as distant.

I tried being very vulnerable with him.

Like I told him that I recently lost my job.

This is what I want to say to him after considering your advice.

Hey, I know you're having a Grad party.

I understand it might be awkward to have me there.

I'm not expecting anything and there's no hard feelings.

I also know it might have been embarrassing for you when I was hearing our friends talk

about it.

I wanted to clear the air with you and say that this is something that we could talk

about and that I'd rather hear from you than anyone else, which is why I was asking if

we were cool.

So if you'd like to tell me your thoughts on any of that.

I am here.

Thanks, Vixen.

Okay.

So overall, the first part of this message that you're sending to him it's, it's not,

it's not so bad, but, but when it comes to the end of it, where you're, where you're

basically just saying that, you know, if you'd like to tell me your thoughts on any of this.

I'm here.

First of all, that's not really a request for him to respond to you.

That's just kind of like saying, Hey, I'm an open door if you want to walk through it,

that's okay. and that's, that's not really a request for response.

Right?

And even if it was your, you're just asking him things like, you know, what are your thoughts?

And if, if you just want to know what his thoughts are, like maybe, Hey, I'm hungry.

I want to go get some lunch right now, or this is something that I don't want to talk

about with you, Vixen, or you know, something like that.

Then that's fine.

You can ask for his thoughts, but if there's something that you actually want to know,

then that is what I would ask him instead.

So if you actually want to know, hey, can I come to your graduation party, then that

is probably what you should start with.

Okay.

As opposed to a beating around the bush being vague and nebulous, pretending that you want

to know, like what his thoughts are when really you just want him to invite you to the party

or something like that.

Right.

So I would really just start by getting clear on exactly what it is you want to know from

him and then asking him that.

Okay.

That is that that's going to cut through a lot of this ambiguity and it's also going

to help you make a more direct ask because if you have a big nebulous ask, there is a

very low chance that somebody is going to respond to that.

Okay?

But if you can ask a specific question, then that is much more likely to have somebody

respond.

You know, for, for example, like right now, my wife, Mika and I were waiting for our baby

to come, you know, Mika is at 40 weeks and I were just kind of waiting around for the

baby to, to, to come.

And as a result of that, we have all these family members and friends and everything.

They're just like contacting us all the time, like, hey, where's the baby wasn't?

And you know, those kinds of questions are easy to answer because it's like, hey, has

Mika experienced any labor pains yet?

The answer's it's like, no.

But if somebody asks a question like, Hey, what's going on?

What's new?

Or is it that that is a whole big.

And, and I know you want to give him the space to respond in any way that he wants to, but

you would by doing that, you're also putting a lot of pressure on him to figure out what

he wants to respond with.

Okay.

So in essence, you're asking him to step up to the bat.

And you're asking him to invest more than, than actually you're investing in this situation,

right?

But by saying, Hey, what are your thoughts?

That's a very low investment kind of question.

And in order to respond to that, you actually have to invest at a very high level.

And, and if you don't have that degree of rapport with him, then it's very unlikely

that he's actually going to respond with that.

So what I would do is I would start with a simple, easy to answer question something

where you actually ask him something like, Hey, you know, in my example, hey, has Mika

started to feel any labor pains?

Yet?

That's a simple yes or no question, right?

That is not a complicated question to answer.

I don't have to stop there and think, I don't have to say like, okay, well what is the main

thing that I want to communicate to this person?

Like, no, I don't have to do that is just simply like, no, she hasn't experienced in

your labor pains yet, but it could be any day now.

And boom, it's as simple as that, and then we can actually have some sort of back and

forth dialogue going on.

And so, you know, think about what it is you actually want to know.

Do you want to know why he didn't invite you to the party?

Do you want him to invite you to the party?

what exactly is going on?

Just stop and think about that and then actually get clear and direct with that.

Okay.

So you also had this other question which was, do I have any tips about how to be more

transparent with him?

so first of all, when it comes to tips and transparency, like there are no tips when

it comes to being transparent.

Either you're transparent or you're not.

If you have to have tips in order to be transparent, then you're not really being transparent and

you're trying to create the illusion of being transparent.

I wouldn't recommend any tips for being transparent. if there's anything I would look at reasons

why you're not being transparent.

Is there still a part of you that thinks, you know, you have to play hard to get that.

Whoever cares the least controls the relationship, you know, men need to feel the pursuit of

the chase, the thrill of the chase.

Is there anything like that that you're still clinging onto that is causing you to say,

okay, well, I'm just going to hide this part of myself so that I can fall into this belief

of some sorts so I can adhere to this belief that I can conform to this belief.

Right?

Is there some part of you that's falling into that category because that can often cloak

transparency and replace it with an ulterior motive, it hidden agenda and all that stuff.

So, I would really just get clear on what it is that you want and just express that

to him in a way where you actually take ownership for your desires and it's not the bad vulnerability

thing that we talked about in a previous podcast episode.

Just take some time and think about what you actually want.

And you might be thinking, well, I just want to talk to him.

I just want to be close to him or something like that and, and, and that's fine.

Okay, but, but just think about what it is you actually want.

Why do you want to be close to and why do you want to talk to him?

Why do you want to be in a relationship with him?

Okay.

And if you can get clear on these things, then it will really help you to express vulnerability

and to express transparency.

Okay.

You have to actually have some degree of consciousness when it comes to knowing what it is that you

want.

If you're going to effectively express vulnerability.

Okay.

Vixen.

So I hope this helps you out and please keep us updated on how things go moving forward

from here.

Okay.

Our next question is from Caitlin.

Hi Clay.

I have a question about ANC.

My ex for one thing, has been constantly saying how we're friends, which has made me worried

even though I know that you say the friend zone doesn't exist with exes.

It seems as if my ex has bypassed the 16 months we were together and has largely put me in

the just friends land.

He also is friends with at least one of his other exes which worries me.

He also started seeing the other girl one to two weeks after breaking up with me.

Recently he's been reaching out to me regarding life stuff.

This current girlfriend doesn't understand.

He brings her up a lot and it hurts.

I thought I just wasn't an acceptance friends and the MLA had been telling me that I need

to do ANC since I haven't, but I'm afraid that it will make my ex feel abandoned and

angry and may even lead to him and his girlfriend grown closer, especially if they're taking

it slow.

Should I do ANC.

I want to get my ex back and I know the advanced relational skills are critical, but I'm afraid

that it'll backfire.

Especially with him reaching out to me with these life issues, I feel like I'm supposed

to be there for him.

I'm afraid that he'll take it the wrong way and can push him away without meaning to thanks.

Okay, so when it comes to active, no contact, the reason that you would do active no contact

is to improve your ability to connect with other people so that when you, and you're

doing this in a low stakes scenario so that when you come out of active no contact, you

actually have improved your ability to connect with people.

You improved your ability to connect with your ex so that when you are in a situation

that you might perceive as a high stakes situation, you are going to be much more poised, much

more composed and much more able to handle whatever happens without getting caught up

in often many of the obstacles and pitfalls that people have when they are trying to connect

with somebody in a high stakes situation.

You know, anxiousness, nervousness, walking on eggshells, all of that stuff.

You only need to work on the advanced relational skills if you are not able to have a positive

emotional connection with your ex right now.

If you're able to have positive emotional connections and interactions with your ex

right now that leave both of you leaving the interaction, feeling uplifted, connected,

rewarded, and just in a much more sort of warm, buzzing kind of feeling, both of you,

not just you, not just him, but both of you.

Then you are actually able to create positive emotional connections.

Okay?

And if you are able to do that, then you don't need to improve your ability to create positive

emotional connections.

So what I would start by asking myself if I were you is to be honest with yourself here.

Okay?

Don't let any of the fear of come in and say like, Oh yeah, we can totally create real

honest, great emotional connections.

Because in reality I'm afraid that if I don't stay in contact with him, he's going to drift

away and give them and become closer to his new girlfriend and it's gonna.

Submit the relationship in place and I'm going to lose my window of opportunity and so yeah,

we're totally capable of creating great positive interactions because I am totally not attached

to outcome in any way whatsoever.

Right?

Right.

I mean, obviously that's not true if that is how you feel, but you need to be honest

with yourself about what your motives are.

You need to be honest with yourself about how it is that you're bringing yourself to

the interactions they need to be honest with yourself about the impact that the interactions

that you're having with him are having on both you and on him.

Okay.

If you are satisfied and uplifted and feeling very connected to him through your interactions,

and that's a good sign.

If you believe that he is feeling satisfied and uplifted and connected to you through

your interactions, then there is a good sign too.

So if that is not happening, then you need to improve your ability to connect with him.

Otherwise you're gonna do more damage than not, by continuing to stay in contact with

him.

Okay? so if, if you're not able to connect with him, then each interaction that you have

is going to feel worse and worse and worse, and it's going to decrease the emotional connection

is going to cause the two of you to feel less and less connection moving forward, and it's

to cause the two of you to start to drift apart, and if that is the case and you need

to stop trying to connect with him because it's clearly not working and you need to improve

your ability to connect with him through something like adopting advance relational skills and

the best way to adopt advanced relational skills to do that in a low stakes scenario

such as active no contact.

Okay.

I would recommend asking yourself those questions to determine whether or not active, no contact

is the right way to go for you.

Okay, Caitlin, so I hope that helps you out and please keep us updated on your situation.

Okay.

Our next question is from Clyde.

Clyde writes in and says, hi Clay.

I would appreciate it if you could talk about a situation that seems to be very common in

people who are trying to get back together with their ex.

In my case, I think my ex is very convinced that I'm desperately in love with her heartbroken,

grasping for anything I can get from her.

Unfortunately, my past actions were indicative of such emotionally attached state.

It's normal that she is of this perception.

I can relate to how that makes her feel and I know that she doesn't want to hurt me, which

might be why she's pushing me away.

Hoping that the discouragement will make the love sick version of me give up eventually.

I know your advice in this situation is to stay consistent with the effortless connection

stage, but perhaps you could explain further how could my ex girlfriend ever changed her

mind and be more open to interacting with me.

Okay.

So yes, your ex, if you were in the past, if you were prior to the current moment in

time, behaving in a way that would cause somebody to think that you are lovesick desperate,

I'm obsessed with them or something like that, then yeah, they are probably interacting with

you based off of that past perception they're interacting with you based off of that past

perception.

The only thing that's going to change that is if you give them a good reason to change

that perception of you.

And this is going to take obviously a change in the dynamic between the two of you, right?

So obviously you're going to have to approach the situation, approach them, approach interacting

with them in a way that is not causing you to over invest to, have attachment to outcome,

to see them as a means to an end or something like that are you're going to have to let

go of that and you're going to have to actually be in the present moment, take a genuine interest

in them, have empathy and curiosity for them.

Have composure and not collapsing, or posturing all that stuff right?

You're going to have to do that, okay?

Now, beyond that, what you need to do is you need to have consistency in how you're bringing

yourself to the interactions.

Okay?

If you have consistency in how you bring yourself to the interactions, they will start to erase

their old vision of you and start to replace it with a new vision of you.

And this will take consistency, right?

Because sure, you might be able to put on a good act.

You might be able to hold in the lovesick desperate version of you and maybe one once

or twice or like that, right?

That could be a fluke.

That could be you just, you know, being good or something like that.

But, but ultimately the only thing that's going to really convince them is if they see

this kind of behavior consistently over a period of time, and if that starts to tell

a different story than the previous assumption that they've made from you, okay?

They'll start to actually trust this new perception of you that actually start to trust seeing

you in a new way.

And as they start to trust this, they will start to begin to create a new version of

you.

They start to interact with, okay, well you have to do is you have to understand, first

of all, where this needy love sick, I'm obsessed version of you came from.

You have to really look at this and understand where that came from and understand why that,

that is not going to be the case moving forward.

Okay?

You have to actually genuinely change.

You can't just kind of like hold your breath or be good or something like that.

You have to actually make a change.

Otherwise, you know, they're just going to be able to see right through it.

They'll be able to see that you're putting on an act or eventually the act will slip.

And you'll suddenly become that desperate, needy person again, only confirming to them

in their mind that yes, you are lovesick desperate, needy, all that stuff, right?

And that is not what you want to do.

So first and foremost, you have to make a real, tangible, authentic change to the dynamic

that you're having with them so that they're not walking back into the same dynamic that

they walked out in the first place.

Now, of course, at first they're going to be suspicious of this new dynamic.

They're going to think that maybe it's a gimmick.

They're going to think that maybe you're just putting on an act.

They're going to think that you know, maybe you're just being good or something like that.

That's normal, right?

Whenever somebody has a drastic change in their behavior, it's normal for us to question

that, to say, okay, are they trying something here?

They putting on an act, are they doing some sort of gimmick or they playing some sort

of mind game, right?

And it's only through consistency, through bringing yourself to interactions in a consistent

way that people will start to be a little bit less skeptical, a little bit less suspicious

of our intentions, and they'll start to say, okay, well maybe that's just the way they

are now, or the.

Or they might even, you know, put you to the test a little bit or just to see if that's

really the way that you are or if it's just an act or a gimmick or a stunt or something

like that.

And so what you want to do is you want to really practice consistency and of course,

consistency is really something that you can only practice if you've had a major substantial

change.

So what you need to do is you need to be able to tune into the moment, understand where

your ex's emotional state is, you know, are they hesitant, are they, you know, not trusting

you, are they concerned about something right?

And you need to drop all of the desperate, needy behavior that you had before and replace

it with.

I'm actually bring yourself to the interaction in a way that you know, is, all the things

that we talked about before connected to the present moment and are attached to outcome,

empathetic, composed, not collapsing, or posturing, not trying to use them as a means to an end

or anything like that, right?

You have to make those transitions and then as that happens, you need to be able to feel

into the moment and say, okay, does it seem like they are hesitant about me right now?

Does it seem like they're holding back?

Does it seem like they're concerned about something?

And if they are, then you can directly address that.

You can say, hey, it seems like you're concerned about something.

Are you concerned that maybe, you know, I've been behaving a little bit different lately

and that you think is just an act and that maybe I'm still that desperate person that

you remember from, you know, however many months ago or whatever.

If that's the case, and you can have a conversation about that, you can say, oh well, you know,

yeah, that was me for awhile, but I made some realizations that blah blah, blah blah, and

you can kind of do something to put their mind at ease and that might help them as well

too.

But ultimately it has to be through consistency and as you're, you know, doing something like

explaining this thing in this scenario I just created here, it has to come from the same

sort of way of being as the one that you're embodying in your way of consistency.

Okay?

So does that make sense?

So by consistently bringing yourself a to interactions in a certain way and then having

these honest conversations with your ex or somebody else, you have to still be representing

the same person.

So again, this can't be an act, this can't be a gimmick, this can't be a stunt.

It's has to be something that's coming from you.

It has to be something that's coming from how you actually are and what your way of

being is.

So, I hope this helps you out, Clyde, and please keep us updated on your situation moving

forward from here.

Okay.

Our next question is from Goodman.

Goodman writes in and says, hi Clay.

I did break ANC last Saturday and Sunday R an email to ask her about her life.

And to ask her to catch up.

Her reply was nice and polite, but she said that she is going to another wedding and travel

to California so we can probably catch up in August.

My thought is to say, okay, but wonder if I need to have a back and forth email in between

to create positive feeling before a phone call in August.

Anyway, what I've learned over time is my patience, after one year and nine months from

break now, a month or two doesn't seem that important to me.

Should I keep myself from too many back and forth emails before August.

Next message should be set up a time in the beginning of August to have a call.

What do you suggest?

Okay, so yeah, if she's just not available to talk to you because she's traveling or

going to some sort of event or something like that.

Yeah, that totally makes sense and then what I would do is I would just stay in contact

with her if it makes sense.

If you have anything to contact her about.

I mean, you know that that's an important distinction here is that you don't want to

just stay in contact with somebody for the sake of staying in contact with somebody.

You want to stay in contact with someone because you actually have something to contact them

about.

Right?

You're not just there to make noise.

It's not just a consistent amount of noise that goes back and forth that creates a connection

or a relationship that that's not how it happens.

Relationships happen because we exchanged something meaningful back and forth between

each other and if there nothing meaningful to say because you know there's nothing to

say because you know they're doing their own thing.

You're doing your own thing and you don't have anything important to tell them.

Then that's fine.

You don't have to tell them anything important.

It's about quality, not quantity.

Okay?

So if you have something important to tell her, if you have something that you know you're

going through your day, something pops up and reminds you of her or something, that's

fine.

You can go ahead and do that.

But if that doesn't happen, don't force it.

Don't sit there and say, okay, I need to send her something.

What is something that I could artificially manufacture that's going to make it seem like

I'm thinking about her?

Like, like, don't do that.

That's really inauthentic.

That's really disingenuous and it's going to cause you to waste a lot of time and energy

trying to think of something that ultimately probably isn't going to have the effect that

you want anyway.

If you can think of something and it comes up naturally and organically, then sure, go

ahead.

But if it, if it's not, if it's forced or something like that, then then don't just

let the next interaction you have be something in August where you say, Hey, I hope your

time in California was great.

Let's get together and talk at this place at this time or something.

Does that work for you?

Something as simple as that would be.

Okay but don't overthink this too much.

Just stay in contact with her if you have something to contact her about, but if you

don't, then don't stay in contact with her.

Okay.

Goodman.

So I hope this helps you out and please keep us updated on how things go moving forward

from here.

Okay, those have been our questions this week.

If you'd like to learn more about what we're doing, please head over to our website ModernLove.Life

or you can head down below this video and click on a link that'll take you over to a

website of ours called relationship inner game.

Over there you can fill out a short, painless, a questionnaire that just, you know, it shouldn't

take you about 30 seconds to fill out.

I just need to know a little bit more about you and what sorts of things you're looking

for in your life.

Are you single, are you in a relationship, you know, just basic stuff like that.

And once I know a little bit more about you and I'll start to send you tips, advice, and

strategies that will help you on your journey.

Okay.

So again, that's over at relationshipinnergame.com.

But once again, this has been clay with ModernLove.Life.

If you've liked this video, please go ahead and give us a thumbs up, subscribe to the

channel so that you can receive updates and notifications when we publish a new episodes

of relationship inner game, and please leave a comment down below letting me know what

you think about all of this and letting me know what sorts of videos you'd like to see

us put out in the near future.

But once again, I hope this has helped you improve your relationship inner game.

For more infomation >> Are You Ready To Be in A Relationship? [RIG 16] - Duration: 32:13.

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Weird Things About Kourtney Kardashian's New Relationship - Duration: 4:32.

Kourtney Kardashian and Younes Bendjima first found each other in 2017, but it wasn't exactly

an easy road to romance.

Kardashian famously struggled for years to move on from Scott Disick, but in May 2017,

she went public with Bendjima, a handsome, younger hunk.

As great as it is to see the mother of three is giving love another shot, there's nothing

normal about this romance.

From their 14-year age difference to rumors that he demanded an allowance from her, here

are all the strange things about Kourtney Kardashian and Younes Bendjima.

Mixed signals

During an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kourtney talked about the night she met Younes

Bendjima during 2016's Paris Fashion Week, which happened during the same trip that her

sister Kim was robbed.

According to Kourtney, she first caught sight of Younes in a bar while she was having a

night on the town.

At first, he was somewhat aloof, which Kourtney noticed.

"He would walk in, say hi, shake hands with our security or whatever, but like, not say

hi to us.

And then I was like, 'Why do you hate us?'"

But apparently, once she showed interest, Younes snapped to attention.

"Once I said that, he literally grabbed my hand and said, 'It's 5AM in the morning, we're

leaving.'"

The next night, Younes was apparently even more assertive, inviting Kourtney over with

the super-charming message,

"Bring your ass here."

Based on Kourtney's account of events, Younes went from being shy and reserved to bold and

boorish in the blink of an eye.

Business and pleasure

Shortly after their first meeting in Paris, Kourtney and Younes reportedly entered talks

to start a business together.

Rumors swirled that Kourtney was calling up realtors and scoping out spots in Los Angeles

where Younes could open a new restaurant serving authentic Algerian dishes inspired by his

homeland.

According to Radar Online,

"[Kourtney] plans to trot all the Kardashian clan in there to make it the hot new thing

when it opens."

Younes' family had previously been in the restaurant business, so the reports weren't

completely out of the blue.

But as of yet, the restaurant has yet to materialize.

He's a busy guy, after all.

A beautiful distraction

After a year at each others' sides, rumors began to circulate that the pair was on the

outs.

By June 2018, the two hadn't been photographed together for a month.

As a source put it to Radar Online,

"They just aren't really seeing each other.

She is doing her thing and he is doing his.

[…] Younes was a beautiful distraction for a while, but right now she is just focused

on herself, her career and her kids."

During the time out, Kardashian was spotted out with her kids at Disneyland, and lounging

by the pool without a care in the world.

It almost appeared like she was enjoying the single life.

But if the two were on a break, it was a short one.

A few weeks after the breakup rumor, she and Bendjima flew out to Rome for a romantic getaway,

proving she was ready to be distracted by his beauty once again.

Kourtney better have my money

The Kardashian brand is basically its own business, and Younes reportedly considers

himself an employee.

According to Radar Online, the supermodel and former boxer demanded an "allowance" in

exchange for spending time with his reality star girlfriend.

How romantic.

According to the Radar report,

"Kris [Jenner] and the KUWTK team need him for a while yet as he's a central part of

the show's plot-line, so he's in a very strong position.

Of course, he serves other needs for Kourtney, helping with day-to-day stuff as well as keeping

her centered."

The source went on to call Younes "the best lover" Kourtney's ever had, prompting her

to do whatever she could to keep him in the picture.

The report continues,

"Since he's put his modeling and boxing career on hold and committed to all the family's

photo ops, he wants it to be reflected in his allowance, just like it is with Corey

[Gamble] and other non-famous Kardashian partners and sidekicks."

We can't imagine Kourtney paying for a man to keep her company, we'd like to think a

lady like her has options.

Leaving America behind?

Things have been heating up in Kourtney and Younes' relationship, with the Kardashian

sister reportedly eyeing a move to Paris to be closer to her man.

One person who sounds furious about Kourtney's potential plan to bid America adieu is her

ex-boyfriend, Disick, who reportedly flew into a "jealous rage" upon hearing the news.

According to an insider,

"Scott's promised Kourtney a huge battle if she goes through with her plans to move to

Paris with Younes and his kids."

A source told Hollywood Life that she would likely just be spending a few months in the

City of Love as an extended vacation, but Disick's still not having it.

In Disick's defense, uprooting their three kids, even for a few months, doesn't seem

like the best idea.

Sure, they'd get to spend a few months in a new culture, but they'd be stuck away from

their dad.

Is Younes really that important to Kourtney?

Only time will tell.

Thanks for watching!

Click the Nicki Swift icon to subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Plus check out all this cool stuff we know you'll love, too!

For more infomation >> Weird Things About Kourtney Kardashian's New Relationship - Duration: 4:32.

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✅ Gigi Hadid Slams Account That Says Her Relationship With Zayn Malik Is Fake - Duration: 3:12.

Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik have been plagued by rumors that their relationship isn't real for years. Though the model and singer announced in March that they were splitting up after two years together, they've recently reconciled

 And with their reconciliation, rumors about their "fake" relationship flared again. An Instagram account called @exposingfakeeasszigiii hit at the couple on Tuesday, writing "Whatever zigi does for promo

Fact is that, Zayn is not going to follow gigi or ever going [to] post her picture on his Instagram again," according to E! News ― which noted that Malik doesn't follow the model on Instagram

 Hadid wasted no time telling the account off in two lengthy messages, screenshotted by fans (the account has gone private)

 "Pls stop. It's just negative," the 23-year-old wrote. "I really have no hard feelings toward you I just know what a beautiful world there is to go out and live in instead of trying to dissect a relationship between two people that you don't even know and that you do not see 99% of

"  She added, "For someone who is virtually inactive on the app, I don't need his follow ― my eyes are tattooed to his chest

" Lest you think Hadid is exaggerating ― she's not. Malik really did get her eyes tattooed on his chest. In an additional Instagram comment, Hadid acknowledged that her first response might've been better as a direct message

But she said she wanted people to know that just because she's a celebrity, it doesn't mean she's immune to mean messages

 "This is all just very frustrating and I'm only human. I've seen the s*** on this account for just as long as u," she wrote

"I've just had enough. just because I'm 'a celebrity' doesn't mean I don't feel, or that my time is too precious to not listen to what people have to say

I'm sure you can see how assumptions like this can be hurtful, especially about someone I love deeply ― if you guys love him too, sooner or later you'll realize we're on the same team

" While Hadid's comments make it seem like the two are most definitely back together, Malik recently said they aren't putting a "label" on their status just yet

 "We're adults. We don't need to put a label on it, make it something for people's expectations," the "Pillowtalk" singer told GQ in an interview published in June

He later added, "We're still really good friends, and we're still in contact. No bad blood."This article originally appeared on HuffPost

For more infomation >> ✅ Gigi Hadid Slams Account That Says Her Relationship With Zayn Malik Is Fake - Duration: 3:12.

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RELATIONSHIP HACKS! HOW TO FIND YOUR SOULMATE! Checked soulmate signs! - Duration: 5:40.

In general, there are only three kinds of women: girls-daughters, girls-sisters and girl-mommies.

With men the same situation: sons, brothers and papics.

And they all coexist harmoniously with each other strictly in pairs.

Papics are looking for daughters.

Glamorous girls, who are not able to earn a penny, or cook scrambled eggs.

They want to feel like defenders, sometimes even masters.

They like to understand the dependence of women on themselves and their importance in

this regard.

For her or in general.

Brothers need sisters.

Together they can build a business, share household duties in half and others.

Sons need their mothers, because their own mothers are not eternal and they themselves

do not know how to warm up the soup from the frigde.

They, naturally, need a responsible person who will take it all on themselves.

Mom will do everything for son.

Idyll, is not it?

Everyone is happy.

But what is really happening?

Almost all of the three types of men fall in love on Glamorous girls.

The main function of a glamorous girl is to look attractive and attract - works perfectly.

Then she starts from the suggestions to choose the one who needs her.

She will not notice a son at best, at the worst with a fastidious mine on her face,

she will ask to step back and breathe in the other direction.

The brothers are stubborn enough and can sometimes win the heart of theglamorous girl.

But here they have problems.

Homework on him, earnings on him, there is nothing to talk about.

The result is a bit predictable: a divorce, a fight for property and children.

He shouts: "Women are stinkers, I will be a bachelor."

And she heals a new candidate.

A woman-sister does not look exactly like a glamorous girl.

She, most likely, is dressed in jeans, she has comfortable shoes and a bag.

Hair in the tail or in a spit, make-up is mild or absent.

And her eyes are burning, she knows how to joke, you can talk to her about all in the

world and often she has an excellent figure.

A man must impress her, so that she respects a man.

Papic has something to impress her.

The sister will famously slam the door in response to the first "do not go anywhere"

and try to dominate.

Sons, too, are sometimes lucky to get into the stream of her interest, for example.

It can even be lured into a family with such a baby.

It falls apart all the year after two, when the stubborn sister is tired of finally asking

in vain for her husband to get out of the sofa and help with the housework.

When she gets tired of making him change jobs to a better-paid job or at least find any

job.

When she goes to get it to the nature or even tear it away from the monitor or TV.

She will file for divorce, and the son will remain clapping eyes in the silent question:

"What happened?

Yet it was so wonderful!

" Women- mothers do not like almost anyone at

once.

Their interests are purely feminine: to cook, sew, knit, grow flower beds, cherish cats,

and indeed, she is one of those who say: beauty in a woman is not the main thing.

Even if a papic with her somewhere and intersects, then it is impossible to interest him: she

does not know how to spend money . If daddy got married on her, he will have a mistress,

who begins to tear off his four financial skins, he will feel like Hercules and his

wife will be divorced.

Will leave nothing and ефлу children if he need them.

Mom for Brother is boring.

Similar situations?

And because many of you, friends, precisely it's situations - not your couples.

It is because of this that you write that women are all self-interested or terrible,

men are all weaklings or goats.

Yes, because, my friends, we must look for needs!

Understand yourself, in what makes you happy, and look away from such a nice, but not fit

for you in a couple of man, so as not to scream at glamorous girl, when she did not prove

to be Mom, and to the son - that he did not become your brothers.

You're in the store do not get angry at every pair of shoes is not your size and the wrong

style.

Do not rush to criticize the unnecessary sausage: what, they say, damn it is not from cabbage

and generally dare to exist on sale?

Leave each other alone, do not try to misuse people, because while you are pushing your

line and trying to remake a man for yourself, somewhere in the world your couple is suffering

from loneliness and mismatch with someone else…

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