what's up people welcome to hustle is for life motivation this is the YouTube
channel where we come together every single week and we've been an amazing
guest to dissect their lives and their minds because we want to be just like
them we want to achieve allistic success in our lives we want to be successful in
every area of our life so we bring on people from all walks of life so we can
find out well how do you get to be successful in that particular area in
their area of expertise tonight I'm joined by somebody very special
she is a relationship and communication coach so I'm really excited to talk to
Erica her name is Erica holster she is a coach sheet the speaker she talks about
communication and how it can help your marriage and how you can live a
purposeful life by making sure that you are communicating openly that you are an
open book and you are on the same page so with that let's welcome our car to
the show Erica thanks for being here oh thank you
so much Tom for inviting me it's a pleasure to be here how are you today
I'm well I'm very excited because like I said I really wanted to dive deep
because at the moment I think there are a lot of people who have questions
around relationships we know that there's a really high level of divorce
rate and single single parents and it's really quite heartbreaking as you know I
my full-time job is the math doctor so I deal with students and just hearing
their story sometimes you you actually start to just feel your heartbreak you
start to tear up you know like the stuff they go through at such a young age so I
really want to kind of dive deep with this stuff so yeah very excited yes I'm
very I'm very excited and you know what surprisingly one of the things that you
just mentioned is the divorce rate so statistics say that you know people who
get married they have like a 53% of getting divorced and being a
relationship and a communication coach I would love to help people decrease that
divorce rate and increase healthier marriages and so that that's one of my
own life mission when it comes to my coaching practice
Wow so Erica talked to you about this
mission how did you find this mission so that's a great question so I've always
been a natural listener with people and people have always naturally come to me
and ask me advice when it comes to relationships especially like my
girlfriend saying hey I'm having this problem with my boyfriend and I just
want to know how can I communicate my needs to him or hey wife she isn't the
same anymore and I just want to know how you know I can spruce up the romance in
our lives because it just seems like you know the connection is no longer there
and so with my listening skills and giving people advice I had a ha moment
and I said within myself you know what so many people are coming to me asking
me questions I really think I have something on my hands and I was watching
a lot of Vincent on fix my life and you know I just saw her asking people
questions and I just saw the people that people were getting breakthroughs and
they were starting to become more clear about what it is that they wanted in
life and after that episode watching that TV watching that TV episode I felt
like you know what I could do that so I decided that I wanted to become a life
coach well to be quite honest you know it was a little scary to think about
starting a business I mean I was fearful for at least three years I sat on my
hands and I just sat on a couch and I was just like no I just think that's a
little too much for me but then one day I got the courage I was like you know
I'm tired of being afraid I want to have the impact on people's lives because
there are so many people who need me and I want to use my gifts and so in January
of 2017 note 16 I actually started my business and I've just been hitting the
pavement by running and just helping people whether it as coaching them
whether this having workshops or speaking at a speaking engagement and
let me just say I love what I do I love the results that my clients are getting
I mean just the latest client testimonial that I received was thank
you for the push and I just think it's so important you know for coaches to
really support their clients to encourage them and not to like push them
off the cliff or anything but just to give them a little nudge and just say I
believe in you and I believe that you can do this that
is very powerful absolutely so in terms of relationships
and communication that's just let's actually dive deep there so like you
said a lot of the times you find that people are struggling and I think part
of the problem with that is the fact that there's no formal education around
oh how to have a happy relationship how to have a blissful marriage you never
get really taught that what you have are just some reference points that you have
picked up along the way as you were growing up well that's from your parents
your grandparents your aunties your uncle's people you observe the TV stuff
you saw Disney I don't know all right so wherever you picked up those are your
reference points so what you find is that yes you don't have any education
you don't have anybody who's broken this down into a formula or into a series of
steps but you just have certain nothing's born and you left on your own
devices like you gotta go and you figured this out and most people
struggle but they keep it quiet because if they go ahead and they admit
something to that they feel that they have failed because they were supposed
to figure this out but they didn't and they feel that they have failed so do
you find that that's true and what are some of the reasons for why they're
failing yeah I definitely do believe that people are internalized that you
know when their relationships aren't working out they feel like they feel I
would say you know one of the reasons why they feel like they have failed is
because they're not willing to be vulnerable with the person and actually
talk with people I think that you know vulnerability is a key factor when it
comes to being transparent with someone and letting someone know exactly how it
is that you're feeling and not bottling things up and that's the second thing is
that you know when people borrow things up
emotions can overtake them and they are always going off of their own perception
as opposed to what kind of conversation you can have and let some like let your
wife know exactly how it is that you feel and what it is that you want to see
in your marriage or let's say you know you're having a difficult time and
you're starting to get cold feet being engaged right and by that you know you
probably someone can internalize and just say well I'm scared and I feel like
I'm feeling because I'm getting cold feet
whereas if they were willing to talk with someone and they were willing to
talk to their fiance they can actually see that you know if when one person is
usually feeling one way the other person is feeling the same way now what better
way can two people actually come together have a conversation and just
come up with a strategy as far as I how it is that they can improve their life
or how it is that they can improve their relationship mmm yeah yeah very true and
to be honest with you I know from my experience there's I've been I've been
married for for a fairly long time and over the the first part of our marriage
my wife you know did say to me you know just talk to me you don't talk to me
just talk to me and the biggest problem I found was I didn't know how to talk to
her I actually found it really difficult to
put my feelings my emotions into words and explained to her what I was feeling
and I felt really quite hard to be be vulnerable like you said like you have
to be wonderful right so I found it really hard to be vulnerable because I
was I was finding it really difficult to just make sense of what I'm feeling in
the first place and then put it into words and explain it to her this is what
I'm feeling and this is what I'm going to and this is what I'm thinking
etc and I found it quite hard challenging we come across other people
who find the same thing that they find it quite challenging to to voice' to put
things into words about how they're feeling and what they're thinking oh
yeah one of the exercises that I like to encourage my clients with is write a
letter you know cut out some time for yourself whether if that's 30 minutes or
an hour and write a letter to the person who you want to express your
fillings because you know sometimes when we talk to someone we can feel anxious
or we can feel afraid that that person won't accept how it is that you are
feeling right and by that that just like make sure you just hit that brick wall
and it's like you can't move forward whereas if you wrote a letter to the
person then the person can actually read it they can come you know to their own
conclusions or be able to process that and then you guys can say you know what
hey in the middle of the week around after dinnertime I would like for us to
talk about this and so that would help open up the dialog and you know let's
say your wife you know is let's say you were my client I encourage you to write
a letter to your wife and then you know you schedule again on a Wednesday night
and said after dinner let's go ahead and talk about this and then you gave your
wife the letter the day before and then on Wednesday your wife can read the
letter and then you know she decided when you were saying this like you know
tell me a little bit more about that and then you can feel more at ease because
you're feeling like you know your wife is being receptive to you you feel like
your wife is understanding you and then she's asking you for a feedback now
those are three key things and so I just think that you know that helps people to
understand that it's okay to feel anxious and understand that it's okay to
get those feelings out and one of the tools again that I encourage my clients
with is to write a letter to the person mmm yeah I love that by the way that's a
good strategy but I also had a bit of hesitation I'll be completely vulnerable
and open here I'd also had a bit of a hesitation because they I I almost
thought that if I said something sometimes it will upset her and she will
get angry and then it's going to make situation a lot worse and you always
have that perception right like if if I open this up like things are okay now
but it's gonna get worse if I say something it's gonna get even worse
right you don't know how the other person is gonna react so what what sort
of ground rules can be established says I know you you you talked about a little
bit before about not being defensive right so I think that that's a good one
that's a good one but what other sort of ground rules can you
establish before you start that conversation in order to make sure that
the person who wants to share their feelings and and their thoughts they can
feel safe in doing so yeah and and the perfect work that you said is safe you
know before you set before you have the conversation again like set the ground
rules and just say you know hey I want to share with you how it is that I feel
please don't take this as an attack against you let me just share how it is
that I feel just so I can get this out and so we can actually have a
conversation and you know ask and also to ask you know like your wife like
please let me know that you're actually being understanding to what it is that
I'm saying because I love you I don't want our marriage to diminish at any
point but I actually want to improve our marriage and by that you know your wife
I'm sure it would be understanding towards it mmm yeah that's powerful yeah
one of the things that I think for people in the audience this is this
could be quite quite an important thing because what we did was we said but we
we will be open with each other and in that time and we were being open each
other we like that's that's like a timeout zone right like you're not
allowed to get angry you're allowed to what you need to do is you need to
really try and understand what other person is going through in that timeout
and you you you need to just talk about it that's all you're like you're not
allowed to get angry you just about you're allowed to talk it's not allowed
to get angry so I think that was that was a big one as well so we tried doing
that where it's like okay fine we'll share things but the other person is has
to be understanding so they can't say like what are you saying it's just crazy
okay where did I even come from so you can't do any of that stuff all right
because that takes in a completely different direction you don't want to
get that um but the other thing you said was really important is the fact that
you know this there's no sort of strain on the relationship um there's something
that we need to discuss there's something we need to talk about but the
relationship itself is not under straining okay because I think that puts
both parties on the defensive straightaway so you need to say well the
relationship you say I still love you right it's your exact words I still love
you but we do need to discuss these things because there's something that
you know is going on we need to talk about it right and one of the things
that I would my to remind us is that you know when we have active listening
skills so we're not just hearing someone in this sense of oh I hear what you're
saying but when you actively listen to the person that you love you're truly
trying to understand them and one of the exercises that I love to do with my
clients is you know let's say you know you say something to your wife and your
wife would say so what I heard you sing is and with that key that that really
lets you know that you know you are being heard and let's say that you did
not mean that and then if you did not mean that you can so lovingly correct
her not in this sense of correct her by pointing a finger but in the sense of
hey no this is what I meant and then you know you guys can have that loving
conversation and then it just puts things more at ease with active
listening skills mmm well this is your area of expertise
Erika you you are our relationship and communications coach so doctors a little
bit more I like that I really like that so can you talk to us a little bit more
about in terms of your communication skills when you're having that difficult
conversation what what kind of skills do you need to be using so it in terms of
who you talk about active listening what other things do we need to be doing to
make sure that conversation takes place in a safe environment I would say being
intentional you know with your words and being descriptive and you know going
into detail instead of just being a roundabout type of communicator you know
say exactly what it is that you want say exactly what it is that you need instead
of letting people assume what they think you need because if you know clearly
communicate by being intentional with your
or being intentional with your body language by hug hugging your wife and
you know your wife might like love hugs and then you know you're being
intentional with your actions by hugging her or being intentional with your words
for example by saying I love you you know and that person I really is able to
be receptive to that especially if that's their you know way of
communicating and so you know it's just so important being intentional with your
words being intentional with your actions and it goes a long way and as
major major value in your relationships adds value in your marriages and so yeah
I would say being intentional with your words and actions so when you say being
intentional with your words can you break that down but what are you
specifically referring to here yes so more specifically is is that if you know
so if you know your wife doesn't like to be towed up you would say shut up right
you would just say you know hey right now it's not a good time for us to talk
about this I can we schedule another time after dinner or when we wake up in
the morning you know and so by doing that it just you know let your wife know
that hey like now it's not a good time I have the business meeting I'm on an
interview or you know whatever the case may be and so being intentional with
your words is you know communicating in a loving way rather than being harsh
with you know the person that you love right so what I'm hearing you say is the
fact that the words that we use yes can generate certain emotions in the other
person yes so we have to be very careful with how and what words we use yes right
yes we have to be extremely careful because you want to communicate love you
want to communicate love by the words that you say and so with you and your
wife you might just say you know hey you're beautiful or hey I love you or
hey you did a really good job by cooking us dinner in our
like the chicken and rice dish that you made the other day right
and so that communicates love because you know how much effort it would take
you know for your wife to cook or even for you to cook but when you communicate
and say hey did an awesome job on the chicken or rice
it just lets the person know like hey you know they really my husband or my
wife really loves me mmm yeah so I guess we're taking the conversation to to the
other side now so not just a difficult conversation but actually the the good
ones so we can talk about their oh I saw this so what kind of language patterns
what kind of words do you think will will be useful to have in those sort of
conversation because here's another thing like we talked about before right
you are only left to figure this stuff out by yourself okay
so if you start using cheesy lines from Disney movies it doesn't always work so
what what what are the sort of words and language patterns can be used to have
those beautiful conversations yeah so you know number one I would probably X
if you are my client I would ask you you know to have a conversation and ask your
wife like when I what one way can I really communicate to you like what do
you really like hearing me say to you you know and your wife can say oh well I
really like it when you say I do a good job or I really like it when you know
you say that I'm smart and I'm intelligent I really like it when you
just validate me and just let me know that I am important and by asking
questions again by saying well asking you know what do you like what what what
do you like when I say to you sorry and so that that that's really helpful
to people I love that and you just hit the nail on the head you know if you
want to know what the other person wants to hear just ask them right I love
everybody everybody isn't the same we are all
created uniquely and since we were created uniquely we need to be uniquely
communicated a good blog post right there and so with
that is it's just like you know communicate to me that I want to be
communicated to communicate to me the way that resonates with me and makes me
feel empowered and makes me feel courageous that I can do anything or
communicate the love that I need because you know husbands and wives we need to
understand is that we're all uniquely created and we all uniquely receive
communication especially within an important relationship like that so I
turn to you for people in the audience when was the last time you asked your
partner your wife whoever your loved one your significant other about how they
would like you to communicate to them do you even know if you don't know maybe
that's the one thing you should be doing so Erica I guess we're kind of you know
slowly creeping towards the the languages of love here almost aren't we
so let's go there let's talk about that so you obviously you know know about the
languages of love so do you believe they actually work first of all yes I
definitely believe that they are actually working again most importantly
it's about asking you know your husband your wives your fiance's or even
boyfriends or girlfriends those type of questions like you know what do you like
what do you like what I do for you you know what do you like to hear you know
do you like when I touch you I mean different things like that so it's just
really important to again ask the questions cause otherwise Annette you're
just assuming in your own thoughts and you're just saying well I think they
like this I think they like that rather than having in-depth conversation
they're asking them those questions yeah yeah so for people in the audience if
you don't know you should totally go and check this out I think this is
absolutely amazing there's a concept called the five languages of love and I
I'm not gonna remember all of them so Erica is gonna help me here okay so one
of them is acts of service so where you actually do something for the other
person another one is gifts so where you actually buy them gear
give them gifts another one is physical affection so you actually give them
physical affection so that's you know touching hugging of cetera
another one is lollipop sorry Wow yes castellan quality time a big one by the
way which people overlook quality time yeah spending good quality time to do
that and the final one you gotta help me out
here so an acts of service so there's words of affirmation
information yeah I think that's the one I was missing sorry yeah words of
affirmation so that's that's in you know saying good stuff to them so you know I
love you you're amazing you're beautiful all that stuff okay so five languages of
love okay and what you find is that people can be
very different
so for example my wife her you know language of love is acts of service so
if I do something for her that's like she feels loved that's that's our way of
receiving love okay that's the way she communicates mine's different I'm a
hugger okay so so for me it's like you know like physical affection that's
that's a big one for me but everybody's different so my question to you guys for
people in the audience is do you know your language of love and do you know
the language of love off your partner if you don't then maybe you need to sit
down and figure this out okay I'm dislike quizzes and questionnaires
and all sorts of cool stuff you can go online and find out and you can do that
their books on it their articles on it it's huge okay so if you've never heard
of it go check it out it's a game changer
like seriously ever since that me and why my wife discovered it and we're just
like oh right so you're a hugger and I just gotta take the trash out well we
can do that that's sorted right so it's really important really helps you okay
so I encourage you guys to go and check that out
yes definitely um but like you said the five love languages are a game changer I
mean I remember reading this book over 10 years ago and I was just like wow
this is amazing and at that time you know I was single but yet I wanted to
learn more about you know how people work and how relationships work and
different things like that and it was a total game changer for me and I
would say one of my love languages to spending quality time with me I love
when my husband is able to you know not have very long working days and we're
able to you know go out on dates or just have a simple movie night and just you
know eating so popcorn and just you know drinking on some juice or whatever and
just having a good time together because I've value of relationships and spending
quality time yeah yeah and it's so important to know your own language of
lovers all right yes yeah because it's obviously important to know the
languages love of your partner or husband or wife or whatever right but
you need to know yours like how you receive love as well how do you
communicate I think that's really important because otherwise you you you
will have a gap right so you're doing all this stuff for the other person they
feel loved and that's great but you will have this gap within you and that that
gap can only be filled that the other person is speaking as quotation marks
speaking your language of love yes for sure yes yeah and again it's all about
you know asking questions and you know setting that time apart for your
relationship because I think our many times you know we can be in the hustle
and the bustle and we're just having these busy schedules and just saying to
ourselves we don't have time for that and you know when people are able to
carve out time you know for each other then they can discover new things about
themselves and they can discover what their love languages are and actually
improve their relationship and to create a new in see in their relationship and a
new level of romance in their relationship yeah yeah absolutely and to
be honest II this is something that I we started in January 2017 around that time
where we consciously said okay so our weeknights are pretty much just like a
photocopy of another photo copy of another photocopy where you know you
finish off from work you come home you saw to the kids you you do everything
else washing the dishes and tidying up and all that stuff and after that you
just crash on the sofa and just like right that clicks boom bang on and
and you watch a you know episode or two and it's like right that time off you go
um so we decide no we're not spending actual time together that's not spending
time together that's just us watching TV that's not spending time together so
let's do something about it so if we then plan the whole week where we said
okay fine Monday night really night or learning
life right so we sit down we read a book or we you know watch a video or
something we do that you can do your own thing but it's our learning that and
then afterwards we sit down we talk about what we learned how to bad etc
let's say Wednesday night so Monday night it's a games night right okay so
no TV nothing gonna play board games we're gonna play Monopoly and I'm gonna
lose every single time let's just decide this how it works or you know anything
else it's game style okay um Friday night date night
okay just nothing happens on a Friday everything else gets canceled it's just
date night Saturday night is a movie night we order takeaway we we watch a
movie so we put a schedule in place we both agreed on it and we've been
following that okay more or less right it's not perfect we don't follow it
perfectly all the time but it's more or less there and I can tell you that since
then it's been completely different completely different but most people
think that you know having a schedule or something is it's too rigid
I think the schedule actually helps you yeah and again remember what we talked
about earlier being intentional with our actions and you know you guys are being
intentional quite sure you are discovering things new about each other
you're discovering things new about yourself and it just makes your
relationships and the family's so much more fulfilling instead of boredom oh
yeah oh yeah I mean we've been playing games and things like that and then we
played different games so in one of the games you have to ask questions to each
other right and some of the questions we asked for well what's your biggest
challenge right now or you know what what what's what's your what's the dream
that you you you wanted to follow but it just hasn't worked out and how does that
make you feel right what are you struggling with right
now the most and things like that which to be honest with you most of the time
you won't talk about right that's so true you won't you won't talk about
those things because the situation hasn't actually been created you know we
can go through life and have life experiences and we talk about those life
experiences as they come but you know until you ask
questions which is so powerful then you're actually able to understand each
other on a different level yeah absolutely but the cool thing was that
it wasn't because if you sit down and say okay fine so what are you struggling
with right now the other person's like so what we did was because we were just
we turned it into a game it was just a game that we were playing it was an
informal setting like the atmosphere the ambience the everything was just like it
was all informal and it was just a game so we had some laughs and they were all
so sometimes we're just like wow okay I didn't really know that you know I yeah
that's very powerful and I'm really glad that you know you guys are implementing
so many strategies and your family and your relationship and your loving
intentionally your loving you know with your words and the things that you're
doing and you know you guys are actually growing together as a family instead of
being stagnant and just going whatever life throws at you yeah yeah because I
think it's quite easy to lose yourself in the day-to-day stuff with your work
with kids with you know you got bills to pay you got
you know stuff to do catch up with friends like there's so much going on
but unless you intentionally cop out time and you say this is what we both
gonna agree on we're gonna stick with this and that's it then otherwise you'll
never find the time it's never gonna come to you you have to make it happen
right that's that's so true we are we we as human beings were just so powerful
and we really need to step within our within our power because there's so much
to do and you know if we apply the right tools the right strategies and the right
principles we can have again a more fulfilling life and we can have a more
fulfilling relationship with our husbands wives boyfriend girlfriends
family whatever the case may be we can be more fulfilled yeah yeah absolutely
and Erica do you find that when you are working with clients and they discover
all this stuff and they implement it and here's a key thing implementing it right
like actually taking action not just listening that sounds cool actually
going ahead and taking action that when they start to take action they gain
momentum oh yeah yeah they want to do more yes they they gain a momentum they
want to do more and they're reflective and filled with gratitude and you know
new doors are opening for them and with the new doors opening for them and just
saying to themselves like wow I would have never known this until I was ready
to take the leap of faith and I was actually ready to do the things and by
me doing these things you know I see life from a different perspective and
you know I want other people to feel like I'm feeling right and so you know
with that strategy and again with gaining that momentum and they just see
how you know important growth is and then they just are hungry for more and
by them being hungry for more you know they actually want to reach out to other
people and help them whether it's with their new passion whether it is with
them you know discovering you know relationship coaching actually works and
referring someone to me but most importantly it's all about again the
momentum growing and actually continually to do those things that they
have been implementing in their lives hmm yeah so Erica since you've actually
started the coaching and everything else yourself now and you're helping lots of
clients how have you grown and how has your relationship growing as a result
and the way that I've grown is I learned something new from a different
perspective about life each and every single day and with that I can help my
clients at a greater capacity some things maybe I had shared before but
because have a new perspective and I've gained
my Afghan momentum myself I can share with someone here's a better way of
doing this or let's try this exercise or I believe if we roleplay
this will actually help you now when it comes to my own personal relationships
people actually see that I'm happier I'm more lively and they're just saying hey
you know I knew for you to be a happy person but it just seems like you just
have a new joy or something like this just seems like something that you know
I've never seen before and so it just encourages me to keep on going it
encourages me to inform people exactly what it is that I'm doing how did I get
there what is it that I did and so I mean life is grand awesome so Erica in
your personal relationship what are some of the practices you have that allow you
to actually have that blissful relationship yeah so again spending
quality times with the people who I love and my friends acquaintances and also
going to a different networking events I find that you know authentically having
a conversation with someone and letting someone know that I'm actually listening
to them so for example let's say I'm in a conversation with someone you know I
put my cell phone down okay well my cell phone is off and I look at the person in
their eyes and I let them know I'm actually hearing what it is that they
are saying and you know always wanting to remain in contact with someone and
then every once in a while you know checking on that person just saying hey
you know such such a pleasure to meet you the other week how are things going
and that really can that really creates a new connection for me and that person
and quite frankly you know when I'm talking to the purse I'm always learning
something new not only about themselves them but I'm learning something new
about myself and so it just makes life more fulfilling not only for me but for
them I just think that you know when we actually share information
we share our stories when when we share the things that we are actually going
through I think that you know it's just a learning opportunity and so that just
that just makes it worthwhile having those relationships spending quality
time and having those effective communication skills that I just shared
with you yeah absolutely absolutely so do you find that your clients mostly a
kind of struggle with say a few common things or is it quite diverse the
different areas that they're struggling with in their relationships one of the
things that some of my clients struggle with the most is just being vulnerable
and being transparent you know even with themselves you know I think that some of
us are in these shells and we don't want to come out this shell but we know we
need help and we don't want to look weak and you know by reaching out to someone
whether if it's myself or whether if it's the person that they love that they
that they realize is that it's okay to be vulnerable with someone you can trust
obviously you don't want to be vulnerable with just anybody but you
want to be so vulnerable with somebody that you can trust and again with
transparency you know when someone shares their story and then they just
have that aha moment like wow that's something that I'm actually going
through and then when the other person is actually able to be transparent with
them and it's just like wow it creates a bond so I would just say being
vulnerable and also to being honest with yourself you know sometimes we could
just make things seem like oh it's everything's okay I'm I'm okay but
really we're not and so I just think that we have to be honest with ourselves
as well yeah and like I said before I think being vulnerable is a big one
because I found it quite hard you know with with with my wife to be open and
vulnerable but I think it it could be the fact that you have your own personal
deep defenses up right in my case it was just the fact that I just didn't know
how to board it I just didn't know how to put my feelings into words and it
took me a while - to be able to get to the stage
where I could say yeah you know I I can share this with you because I now
understand what what I'm what I'm feeling and what I'm going to and I can
actually put into words and it will actually make sense right so it took me
a while to get there and I think that's another thing I guess as well is being
patient to to allow the other person the time the space where they are then able
to openly communicate with you and not crush arising them and to say you're not
doing this what's wrong with you right and you know just to add to your point I
would also say practicing you know I think that sometimes we just have this
ideology like I don't have to get it right the first time but if you're
willing just to take the first step and as you're willing to take that first
step then you are willing to see you know what opportunities that that can
bring not only for you but for the relationship and so I always you know
encourage people with just practice you know because practice is going to help
you to get the experience upon the experience as you will be able to get
the results that you are looking for yeah yeah so in all of this I think what
what we've established is that how you communicate yes when you communicate and
your intention and your purpose behind your communication are super important
because otherwise it's just going to it's just going to unfold as chaos yes
so true yeah which is what we find right like most of the time you find people
struggling and then you know you heard that sobered and so and split up or
their divorce or whatever yeah exactly and usually you know when you know
people come to me about divorce is pretty much done deal you know
but if they were able to maintain their marriage then they could have possibly
avoided you know getting a divorce and it's not to say that someone can't have
a healthy and fulfilling life after getting a divorce but it
means that you know if we were able to do preventative care right we were able
to do preventative care we could have possibly avoid that divorce yeah yeah
exactly so like you said prevention is always better than cure right fantastic
all right Erica tell us where people can go to find out more about to you about
your coaching and okay awesome yes so people can find more out more about me
and I'm buying life coaching calm and if people would like to email me you can
email me at info at nine life coaching comm also I am on Facebook Instagram and
Twitter and you know I would just really love to connect with different people
who want to improve their relationships who want to improve their communication
skills with goal setting because you know now is the time to do something
about it instead of sitting on our hands or avoiding conversations or avoiding
things that we know that could actually be beneficial for us and so I just love
what I do my clients are getting major results and
matter of fact the latest client testimonial I received was thank you for
the push and you know it was a loving way it wasn't in a malicious way by any
means but just to say you know to you that you know I would just love to
support you awesome is there anything we can help
you with right now no no really I really enjoyed our conversation I really
enjoyed you know just talking about different principles when it comes to
relationships and communications I just want to thank you for you know your time
and thank you for the conversation and thank you for sharing your story because
I believe that is so important for us to share our stories with each other and
know more from each other absolutely so there you have it guys our
conversation a conversation conversation can't even speak right now to excited
hour conversation with Ericka halston and I
think this this is really important that we discuss some really important stuff
and both me and Erica we shared openly I shared with you my own personal story to
to just hold to you guys that's what we're here for
we want to serve you guys who want to share these ideas with you because we
know it will help you because it's helped us right that's what we're
sharing this stuff with you so make sure that you pass it on that's all we ask
okay just make sure you share it with other people who you think in benefiting
this maybe it's your friends maybe it's your family maybe it's your brother or
sister maybe you just want to send it to your spouse or your loved one so they
can listen to this conversation and maybe you can sit together and listen to
it together but whatever it is just pay it forward that's the biggest compliment
you can give me and Erica because at the end of the day these are the exact
things that like I said I shared my own personal sub these the exact steps that
we have taken to make sure that we have got a blissful and successful and happy
relationship so if you want to get there there you go you got the road ahead of
you okay go for it but also some really important stuff came out of this in
terms of being intentional with your communication making sure that you think
before you speak absolutely being you know open to to
receiving feedback and not just being super defensive cuz I think a lot of
people do that we get into that mode where we put up the defenses straight
away because I it's not my fault it's not me it's all you and that's where it
starts to fall apart so you need to create a safe environment at large
nurturing and loving environment in which you can have those conversations
there might be difficult but if you have that environment and you know that you
feel the same and the other person feel safe then it's easy to share and that's
where you want to be that's where the real gold is in that relationship okay
and that's how you're gonna grow that's where the growth is so why wouldn't you
do that okay so I highly encourage you all I'll challenge you even to go ahead
and have that conversation okay set up a time make sure you write the lecture I
mean Erica say that amazing you know a technique where you can just write a
lecture to to your mm and you can give them the letter and then have a
conversation follow up on that how beautiful is that so I challenge you to
go ahead and have the conversation we talked about the five languages of love
okay I can't remember them now but there's five we talked about them and
find out what yours is find out what your spouse is or are your partner's
language of others and then talk about how you can actually show them that how
you can share it with them that's super critical as well
so a lot of good stuff came out of this make sure you take notes I always take
notes so I'm gonna follow up on a bunch of stuff make sure you do too often that
make sure you hit the subscribe button down below because it helps us draw and
makes and this this channel something special where we have a community of
people who believe in the message of achieving holistic success in their life
we have a community of people who believe in achieving holistic life
mastery we want to master every area of their life their relationship their
finances their business their careers their health everything their
spirituality so if you're one of them hit the subscribe button down below it
keeps you updated with all the future videos as well that we'll be launching
and finally it enters you in the monthly competition where you can win access to
my free about free access to my course on networking strategies and how to
connect and build relationships with the top four figures and experts in the
world with that guys thank you so much for your time we really appreciate it
Erica thank you so much for coming on this was awesome conversation I'll thank
you thank you thank you awesome guys still some hustle hog I'll catch you in
the next one
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét