Alright, welcome to this episode. I'm Bill Snodgrass This is a cold, cold morning
start to frosty windshields and 14 degree temperature… Wind chill's down
there pretty low as well, if you wanted today's weather forecast. This episode
will be… it's gonna be kind of a day in the life episode. We're going to run
through some different concepts. Mainly we're gonna be talking about the friend
zone. I'm talking about the friend zone in this episode. Do you want to: Does he
want to? Should you? Could you? What is the friend zone and what it's all about?
Let's… Let's do that let's get to work. So if we're gonna talk
about the friend zone we have to define what the friend zone is and that's gonna
mean talking about males and females and this is gonna be very unpopular we're
going to talk about some differences between males and females how our guys
and girls different very unpopular concept so I figured by the time this
video is over I have made everybody mad but you know what you got to do if
you're gonna put the truth out there
getting out of the car something in the back did something causing I have no
idea it's on the left side which is unusual for me I've had back problems in
my life but Wow for a minute I thought yeah I'm able to get out of the car but
I did and I shot the clip I don't know if you could tell I was kind of I was
kind of faking the smile if there was one boys and girls men and women are
different there's a surprise for you very unpopular opinion very unpopular
opinion the physiological differences do not stop at what we can see the the
physiological differences between males and females extends into their brain the
way their brain processes things leading to a psychological emotional
difference in the in the wiring system now people go no I don't I don't want
that I want everything to be exactly the same the problem is when we have
differences the the people who are you know in control will use those
differences to keep other people down and and so we would like for there to be
no differences so that we can say that everyone is the same I'm not saying that
people should be treated differently based on the differences please that is
definitely not what I'm saying I'm saying that we should understand the
differences and we should use those differences to maximize what's going on
in society I'll get back to the friend zone but I'm gonna finish this spot so
just to you know I don't wanna be sticking this out here on my own I'll
take psychology today down with me this is an article that they and I will link
it down in the in the description if you want to go read this article and this is
article is summarizing a lot of academic research so it's a nice way to access
the academic research without digging into every every article when I was when
I was in doing my graduate studies I had a professor who are specialty had been
if I understand if I remember correctly she was an industrial psychologist which
means that she's about efficiency and office work and the research that she
had done and been part of had uncovered that given a different kinds of tasks at
a middle management level minimum performed differently women if the task
was a multitasking like all these things have to be done at once women did better
if it was we got this one thing we got to drive this nail into the board
metaphorically speaking if we have this one thing to do and everyone has to get
involved and then the male's outperform females on tasks that were that were one
target one thing drive it through to the end if it was like juggling and spinning
plates also met orally speaking because I don't really
know any jobs besides the circus where you juggle or spin plates that that
would be weird you know if you walked into the bank and
had the plate spinner over there by the vault men and women are different trust
me on that or read the articles men and women are different now this is going to
this is going to impact the friendzone this is going to impact the friendzone
day in the life talking about the friendzone we got a lot to do this day
doesn't end this day doesn't end until photography club's over so what I'm
gonna do now I'm gonna eat this granola bar I'm gonna drink this coffee from my
world of Scilly our mug go over to world of silly are links down in the
description check that out if you're a fantasy fantasy and if you read fantasy
if you like those kinds of things check that out so taking it out of this clip
taking out of this segment the boys and girls are physiologically different and
that physiological difference changes the way they think also a major point
being different does not make better or worse it means that you know these are
good and these are good they're just good in different ways it's like
chocolate ice cream and strawberry ice cream both good but not the same
I made it to lunch and so this is lunchtime
I am I'm drinking tea out of my world of civil you are drinking glass with me
frosted that's it I'm drinking tea the friendzone so guys and girls are
different establish that in the last clip what does that have to do with the
friendzone well before we get into the friend zone if we talk about how guys
and girls are different in the friend zone a couple more quick points one
relationships there are different types of relationships and for the purposes of
this discussion we're gonna say that on one end of the types of relationship is
the romantic physical relationship that would be you know the dating
relationship romantic there's a lot of emotional connection and affection
express physically and those kinds of things so on that in on the other far
end there's like the relationships that you just have to be in you don't really
you don't really care if you're in or not but you have to be in them like the
you share the aisle for your cubicle and the guys across the aisle from you you
have to be in that relationship there's there's no choice and the way you
handled our relationship is is different in how that means and what that means to
you is different then if you're in a dating relationship exclusively with one
person so you have this one end is like you're forced to be in it and then you
move up towards you choose to be in a relationship because there is an
instrumental value you're in the relationship because there's some your
carpool it's a it's an instrumental relationship the emotional connection is
a little bit higher because there's a some kind of a payoff and then you move
on up to people that you care about at an emotional level but it just kind of
ends at a friend level this is kind of the
outside looking into the friend zone skipping over the friend zone running a
month with a romantic physical relationship so the friend zone is in
there between you know so we have these different types of relationships and so
that's that's what we're going to be looking at a friend zone so so we have
these different types of relationships now that wiring thing that makes a men
and women different that wiring thing the a female's capacity to tap into the
emotional aspects of of a relationship and to express those and to identify
those and have words for those is much greater and and so to say that women are
more emotional it is not necessarily the case but to say that women are more able
to identify and differentiate levels of emotion is probably more true women's
women's brain the parts of the brain is most active in problem-solving is the
part of the brain that they call the white matter that that act that that
handles relationships that handles I've always said many many times that when a
man when we go shopping for a table for the dining room there's there's
different criteria the women's criteria includes primarily how will this relate
to the people in our family the other decorations in the house
the decor overall how will this table fit in relationship way guys look at the
table and while they can appreciate how it matches and doesn't match they're
looking at it more as a functional instrumental aspect how does this table
function within our family is it big enough is it sturdy enough well when we
have Thanksgiving dinner is it big enough for everybody or will we have to
accommodate you know the functionality of it because it's not sufficient in
that low so even if something as simple as a
dining room table the men approach it with a much more operational or
instrumental perspective and women look at it more how does it fit relationally
with everything else that is going to lead us directly into understanding and
closing out this discussion on the friendzone all right how many my lunch
and pick this up later on in the next segment or the segment after that we're
not done yet got a couple more things to do all right let's wrap this up
this friend zone concept here's here's what we then here's what we've been
moving towards because girls have the capacity and and they differentiate
emotional connections differently they're okay and they actually like this
this group of people around them that they have this really strong emotional
friend level connection with they they would they would grieve when the other
person is hurt they would they will share that that pain that is not as
common nor is it is as desirable for for the
guys that level of really really strong emotional connections so they have that
and I must say and they don't have the capacity to feel that it is just not as
desirable and it's not as big a priority for guys as it is for girls which leads
to the problem with the friendzone a girl does not have romantic feelings for
a guy but she likes him she doesn't feel romantic she doesn't want to have a
romantic physical relationship but think she wants to be friends one of the young
lady I talked to this this morning said well so-and-so he's my friend we've been
locker mates for like a zillion years which I'm exaggerating that's that is a
that is a for her a very natural place for her to have this strong intimate
really ship with him now I don't know what his
take on it is but he can either look at that relationship in one of two ways it
is instrumental because they share a locker or something and so he continues
to engage in that relationship because it has that locker sharing capacity or
he wants it to move out of the friend zone into the romantic relationship and
this is what this is what happens when a girl puts a guy in the friend zone one
of two things is going to happen he's going to stay in the friend zone because
he wishes and believes that things could change and he can eventually move into a
romantic physical relationship or he will go the other way he will become
disinterested in the friend zone and drift away until his emotional
connection becomes purely instrumental or purely something out of you know
we're obligated to to be here in the staff room together because we share the
same break time it becomes purely coincidental or instrumental and and and
in the level of emotional connection begins to disintegrate guys do not want
to stay in the friend zone they don't want to have a deep emotional connection
with someone who they wanted to have a romantic physical relationship with so
pushing them away into the friend zone they'll either stay there frustrated and
longing for and believing that eventually they will move into a
romantic relationship or they will become disinterested and drift away now
girls I know you're going to be like no that's not true this is going to be true
this is played out in conversations I've had recently conversations I've had
years ago observations I have made over the last 20 or 30 years of being around
young adults and adolescence guys don't want to be buddies for long if they are
buddies there is some functionality in the relationship that is fulfilling
something they don't want to just have a deep close intimate relationship girls
when when you don't want to have a romantic relationship with the guy then
the level of intimacy that you were long for is not going to be sustained alright
that's it for the friend zone if you get stuck in the friend zone you don't want
to be there if you stick someone in the friend zone you just need to know they
don't want to be in the friend zone there if they if they wanted a romantic
physical relationship and you have downgraded them to the friend zone one
of two things is gonna happen they're gonna stay there with that idea that
they can move into the eventually you will change and they will move into a
romantic relationship or they will become disinterested and drift away
emotionally until all that's left is the things that you do together and those
kind of sharing a lock or whatever it is that's it for this episode by now
everybody probably hates me you know I've kind of pulled the veil back on
this friendzone thing and it's you know it's kind of scary for both sides of the
coin but that's it for this episode if you enjoyed it please cuz if light
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question or suggestion that is all I will see you in the next episode
you
For more infomation >> What Are Your Expectations About Your Relationship? - Duration: 2:26. 
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