my name is Shani Levy I'm a marriage and family therapist and I make videos
about mental health topics that help you live your best life
today's video includes a communication tip and who doesn't want better
relationships or to better the relationship they are already in so it's
a phrase that I'm gonna share with you that you can use either when you are in
the midst of a conflict or an argument or if you're just talking to a friend
that you're in a relationship with and the phrase is "I can understand how you
would feel that way" "I can understand how you would feel that way" it sounds so
simple but it's very hard to say when you're in the midst of an argument or
somebody is is saying you are the cause of their distress but it does a couple
of things: it will help defuse a conflict and create more connection so
the first thing it does is it validates it, validates feelings, it validates the
other person's feelings and that tends to soothe people and calm them down when
they are feeling heard and understood. okay the other thing is that it
communicates understanding and this is more for you that if you don't
necessarily agree with what the person is saying this communicates
understanding to them but you're not necessarily communicating agreement okay
so that's a big important distinction because a lot of times people say "but
what if I don't agree with how they are feeling or you know what they're saying?"
and my answer to that is you don't have to agree- it's their feeling, that is
their reality and their perception of things. If you're arguing with their
reality that's what's going to happen so the most we can hope for is actually
understanding each other so that we can get to a place where we're working
together or problem-solving whatever it is we need to problem-solve or just
creating more connection in your relationships. This isn't only for when
you're arguing. The other thing that this phrase does is it's kind it's it
actually when we are kind we feel better and when
we communicate kindness we are way more likely to receive kindness back. So I
would urge you to practice this, again it's not easy if you are upset but I
will tell you that as you become more comfortable communicating in this way
what will happen is you will start to see that your communication with another
person gets better and that that connection, that ease of when you're able
to talk about difficult things gets better. Thank you for watching I hope
this was helpful and if any of you have your favorite phrases or things that you
like to say in the midst of a conflict I would love to hear those if you have any
questions you can leave them in the comments below I'm happy to hear from
you I happy - I'm happy to hear if you enjoyed this video if you didn't enjoy
this video if you have suggestions. If you want me to address any topics that
you feel may be helpful to you I would love to do that. Thank you
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét