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The quality of our life depends on the quality of our relationships but the marriages now are

under more stress than they ever historically have been with a divorce

rates being about 50% for the first marriage and about 65% for the second

marriage. What marriage looks like today is

dramatically different from what it looked like about 70 years ago. So today

we're going to begin by looking at some of the reasons how marriage has changed

and how that impacts us.

So throughout history people did not marry for love at all and so if love grew and that

was like cherry on top but love and desire was not the reason for marriage

like he is now.

If you became a divorcee then you were socially

outcasted and so you know fortunately now we have choices, choices and voices

that we never have had and that is really shaking up society and rightly so.

So what's happening now is that not only do we have the

traditional expectations of what manages to once provide like security and stability

and lineage but now as we are becoming more lonely we're expecting our spouses

to meet all of our needs. So as the relationship expert Esther Perel states

we're asking one person to give us what a whole village used to provides us so

we want our spouses to be our best friend, our therapist, the one who supports

your dreams, the one who understands everything you say and mean, you're passionate lover,

your confidence, and then soon putting too much pressure on our spouses, men and

women and when they don't fulfill all of those roles we get upset. They say that

an average person can only turn to 1 or 1.5 people in crisis and so we don't

have enough people in our lives and we're making a mistake of turning to our

spouses for everything. So there's so much to say about marriage and

relationships but if there is one nugget that I would like you to take away from this

episode will be that you don't have to share every experience with your partner

they don't have to understand every part of you, people have different levels of

growth and understanding and interests and patterns. So for example if you want

to be more adventurous and your partner doesn't, that doesn't mean that you're

not compatible it might mean that you need to meet your need for exploration with

somebody else, like your best friend or say if you love to talk about your the

details of your work for hours but you're where your partner doesn't

understand that could mean that you need to find somebody else like a co-worker

so then you can go for a lunch date with and you know talk for hours or whatever

and so you know we're created as social human beings who really need to be part

of a group and so putting too much pressure on the institution of marriage

which it really wasn't created to hold could really definitely cause to crack it.

We were created as social human beings who really need to be part of a

group and so putting too much pressure on the institution of marriage which really

it was not created to hold can definitely cause it to crack because not

one person can be your everything.

For more infomation >> He is my EVERYTHING? (Relationship Advice) - Duration: 4:07.

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Your guy's bromance might be stronger than your relationship - Duration: 2:57.

For more infomation >> Your guy's bromance might be stronger than your relationship - Duration: 2:57.

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Full Ep. - Relationship Between Washington and Local Utah Government - Duration: 28:51.

Is our government a single hierarchy of

authority, the county a subset of the

state the state a subset of the federal

government? That seems to be the way

most people perceive it. That is the way

it looks on a flow chart, but is that how it

really works. Hello again and welcome to

The County Seat, I'm Chad Booth. Today

we are going to look at how governments

communicate with work with each other,

particularly what the connection is

between your Local County and

Washington. We begin by looking at the

different ways counties and the federal

government touch each other in the

course of their duties in the Basics.

Why does my county commissioner, councilman,

or sheriff have to trot off to Washington at

taxpayer expense all the time? After all aren't

our elected congressmen and senators in

charge of making federal law while our

commissioners are in charge of creating county

ordinances? That is true in a sense,

commissioners and councilmen only have the

power to create ordinances, but they do have

the power and OBLIGATION to influence other

laws, which will impact their constituents.

Their legal responsibility is to protect the

health, safety and welfare of county citizens.

Congress is often debating legislation that has

huge impacts on local communities but they

are so far away from main street they can't see

the impact that laws have when they are

implemented and with so many voices from

lobbyists and special interests, local

government should be involved, if your sheriff,

councilman or commissioner is going to look

after your welfare as a citizen.

A perfect example of that is if Washington

introduces a new law that had the potential to

bankrupt a county, the county representatives

should have their voice heard. Whether it is

unfunded mandates, changes in Medicaid or

conflicts between local and federal law

enforcement, things that happen in

Washington affect Utah, and our congressional

delegation needs the input from local "on the

ground" leaders to make sure they are

representing all of the local constituents.

But perhaps, more important than the legislative

side of the equation, is the relationship with

Regulatory entities. Regulations are created by

policy makers who are not elected, and have

no connections to the local people, who

sometimes live on the other side of the

Country.

According to a recent article in Forbes Magazine,

there were 115 new laws passed by congress

in 2015, at an average of 15 pages per law for a

total of around 1700 pages of new statutory

law. On the other hand the federal register

added 82,036 new pages in to their books, of

which around 27, 000 were new regulations.

Those regulations can impact a community in

the same way a law does.

It is almost impossible to change a regulation

once it it's passed, but often there are hearings

where these regulations are being planned and

discussed. If local officials are at the table they

can have some effect on those proposed

regulations.

So there ARE legitimate reasons our local

representative's travel to Washington to

represent us, without those trips, the

communication between federal and local

would grow further apart, what are we

currently doing to close that gap of

communication? We will find out In our

discussion today on the County Seat, I'm

Maggie K for the County Seat.

Chad booth: welcome back to the

County seat we are continuing our

conversation talking about the

importance of a direct connection

a relationship between local

government and Washington DC both

the elected officials and the

administration joining us for our

conversation part of this show is

a Commissioner from Sevier County

here in the town of Richfield

Tooter Ogden. Thank you,

Commissioner, for joining us.

Tooter Ogden: good to be here.

Chad booth: and Russ Cowley, who

is the executive director of the

six County Association of

governments down here, so we

appreciate your taking the time

for this conversation. I would

like to talk about the tools in

the toolbox for the counties to

have a direct connection with

Washington. I know several

counties. Chip in to hire a

lobbyist that serves in

Washington to try and keep

pushing local County issues, but

they're also a lot of other tools

of and associations you belong

to. Could you kind of give us a

rundown of that?

Russ Cowley: well all start out

Chad, one of the things that

we've been involved with is going

back to Washington and actually

taking our commissioners and are

board members back to Washington

to have them actually sit down

with our congressional members

talk about the issues that are

important to them. One of the

things that happened with me long

ago was that as we went back to

that Washington trip there is an

organization that we belong to

call the national Association of

development organizations. It's

kind of a partner with the

national Association of counties

but for executive directors to

understand more about how to deal

with Washington and work with our

programs. And as we have gone

back to that organization and

have that opportunity to actually

go out and work with those folks

on how bills are written and even

get involved with the writing of

bills and so it's been very nice

to be able to have the support of

County commissioners that will

allow us as their employees to go

back and actually become educated

on those kind of issues.

Chad booth: you've got the

Western intermountain region of

the national Association of

counties W IR and NACO how do

they help interface. In this

whole Washington mess because it

apparently your visits when you

go on these NACo Washington

junkets are not necessarily just

to our elected delegations you

meet with all kinds of people.

Tooter Ogden: yes, you do, you'll

meet with people. Obviously with

W IR that is the Western regional

side of the United States and we

have a lot more in common with

the Western states. So, when we

have that convention you are able

to meet with your other elected

officials and those who are

representatives of us in that

board and try to get a unified

voice. When you go to NACo which

is the whole United States and

then at that time you're able to

go forward and at that time make

legislation that hopefully will

have some power because now

you're unified with the Western

states and also with NACo going

forward when you're back making

rules.

Chad booth: so, have those

associations been able to open

some administrative doors as well

as legislative? I know the bill

making process is very messy much

more messy then at the County

level but have they a made an

impact as far as working with

like the Department of Interior

the EPA and groups like that.

Does that connection help?

Russ Cowley: it definitely helps.

And one thing that I may say for

our six County Association of

governments are board have always

been very supportive of sending

folks back to Washington and I

have been very amazed at how

important it is for a County

Commissioner to actually have

that experience of going back to

Washington and has Commissioner

Ogden has said actually sitting

down with a member and talking

about other issues and their

concerns. It means a lot to them

and I might just mention also

that is we go through the process

we have the congressional

members, staff come to our

meetings they have that

networking with those folks every

month and then as we go back to

Washington, DC, they are very

good to help us with any issues

we have as we go back to me with

a member themselves.

Chad booth: do you think you've

turned any heads. I mean do you

think there've been guys in

Tennessee or North Carolina that

all of a sudden start to

understand Western issues because

of the efforts of NACo and W IR

and your junkets back to

Washington?

Russ Cowley: what's fascinating

about that is if you go back and

you get involved with some of

those organizations and as I

mentioned with the NATO

organization. I was able to be on

the board and if you those

things. And what was funny about

it is I would go back and they

knew I was from Utah and the

first thing that they would

always say to me is they would

say okay Mr. Cowley tell us about

public lands because I was always

bringing up the public lands

issue of this area and so we've

actually had the opportunity of

bringing those folks back here on

this congressional briefing and

it's been very interesting to get

their reaction it's something

they haven't ever seen before.

They don't understand public

lands and is you start explaining

that to them and actually give

them an on the ground experience

it's funny to watch their

demeanor change and so it's a

great opportunity.

Chad booth: is that something you

think we need to do more of is

actually getting them from

Washington out here, so they can

see it firsthand. Is there

something lost in the translation

of you telling them about the

problem and then seeing it?

Tooter Ogden: very much so in a

were trying to be managed by

people in Washington that's 2000

miles away. And a lot of these

folks have never even been out

here on the federal lands in our

Chad. Obviously, you are about

76% of federal lands and a lot of

these people in the East they

don't understand that at all

because they have very little

federal land or very little input

on their federal lands. So were

trying and we continue to get

more involved with the people in

the East, that's one thing with

NACo you go back there and you

try to get with some of these

folks like the other

commissioners from the East try

to explain to them what our

concerns and what are issues are

we try to get onto these

communities so that we can make

an impact. We try to get them to

understand what's going on here

in the West.

Chad booth: will that solve some

of your problems as a six County

AOG I mean I know sometimes you

go to the Department of Interior

for some grants and things like

that for your counties in fact,

I'd like to spend just a little

bit of this time talking about

that part of the relationship.

The fact that because of you know

we've got P.I.L.T. issues. We've

got grants we've got things like

that. What is that part of that

connection with Washington

directly with counties?

Russ Cowley: well, if we are not

fighting for the rights of our

area. Nobody else is and so what

we've been talking about is

building those relationships and

to have that office closer to

actually where the lands are

would make that a lot easier for

the commissioners. I mean how

many trips do you guys go on back

to Washington just to present an

idea or two have to go back and

represent one of their proposals

for one of their private, public

land issues. And if it was in

here in Utah. They wouldn't have

to drive that far, and this is

where it's all taking place

anyway.

Chad booth: I guess a Wyoming

rancher wouldn't have that much

trouble getting there to a

hearing or anything.

Russ Cowley: no, no.

Tooter Ogden: it would be a

little easier.

Russ Cowley: but what's really

interesting about what you're

talking about is you take

P.I.L.T. and S.R.S. you take that

funding source away from the

counties and we have counties

that would probably go bankrupt

and you think about some of those

counties that have 97% public

lands, that's very difficult for

them to make up a difference of

P.I.L.T.

Chad booth: is that money, Tooter

that is direct money direct from

the federal government to the

County. It's not like filtered

through a state or region or

something like that.

Tooter Ogden: no, it comes right

directly to the County. We get

about 1,900,000 a year.

Obviously, that translates into

acres dollar wise. It's about a

dollar 80 per acre for Sevier

County, which is minimal for all

of the work that we have to do

out there. We have search and

rescue that has to go out and

help assist people when they have

accidents or problems on the

federal lands and it's important

we have that there's 49 states in

the United States that receive

some sort of a P.I.L.T., payment

and that's payment in lieu of

taxes. Obviously, we continue to

battle that because a lot of

these counties like Russ has

mentioned they rely heavily on

that and we put that into our

budget every year and then we

have to ask Washington.

Chad booth: to live up to the

commitment.

Tooter Ogden: to live up to the

commitment to that P.I.L.T.,

payment.

Chad booth: so, is that dollar 80

a lot less than Joel Jensen that

she would pay for an acre of

range lands that she owns

outright?

Tooter Ogden: sure, your

greenbelt is about a dollar 50 an

acre. If we could even get the

government to, to pay a dollar 50

an acre that would be substantial

for all of these counties what we

would really like to see is go

back to management of the forest.

That's what was originally taking

place before the P.I.L.T. was

introduced is they had to make

their forest pay their way and

that goes back to the logging

goes back to the grazing it goes

back to the managing of the

forest going forward.

Chad booth: well, there's some

headway that should and can be

made in that area, I kind of want

to finish up this conversation by

talking about we've gotten pretty

good with some of the events that

you hold of actually getting our

local delegations out there. Do

we need to get guys from South

Carolina out here on the ground?

Russ Cowley: yes.

Chad booth: how do we do that?

How are you going to bribe them

to get them to come here.?

Tooter Ogden: feed them and big

beefsteak ha ha.

Russ Cowley: well, that's one

thing that's been fascinating

about our congressional ride a

lot of people go out and they

bring folks out and they'll put

him on a golf course we put them

on ATVs and it's been amazing

when we've tried to encourage

folks from back east to come out

here that ATV ride is something

that really intrigues them and so

we have been successful in

bringing some staff from other

organizations other congressional

members on the Democratic side.

For example, we tell them or not

going to convert them to be a

Republican. We just want them to

see what public lands is really

about and will give you an ATV

ride and then encourages them to

come out and we can talk more

about that a little experience

but no it's been really good that

way and I think if we can

continue to encourage that kind

of activity and have something to

bring folks out that is

attractive then I think that we

can bring people out here and

that's or working towards more

all the time.

Chad booth: well, this is been

most enlightening and in case

people are wondering what this

congressional ride is all about

that. The six County Association

has been engaged in were going to

tag along and were going to do

that when we come back on the

County seat.

Welcome back to the County Seat. Have

you even been in a conversation with

someone and you are trying to explain

something that you saw and finally in

exasperation you quip: "well you just had

to be there". That happens often when

you are trying to explain the effects of

government policy on a local community,

whether you are at the state capitol or in

Washington. So, to paint a better picture

to policy makers, a group of county

governments started taking state and

federal officials out to the problem just

so they could "be there". 22 years later

that effort is still paying off as we

discover in our "On the Ground"

segment.

We've invited our legislators back to visit our

county so we can show them our problems of

getting things done that we need done by the

legislators

Just for one of our guests we are four fifths the

size of Massachusetts,

Well we had a good ride to day about I don't

know 75 to 80 people on side by sides and 4

wheelers on the Fillmore loop on the Piute Trial.

I can tell you it's been a great chance to see

good part of our national forest and learn about

what we are going to have to do to protect our

forest here and to create more economic

development opportunities here in our real

counties.

The main empties behind the governors

Roadless rule petition is to get in and do active

management so we can have better watersheds

cleaner air coming through Spanish Fork this

morning you had to cut the air with a knife

My name is Zack George I am a legislative

assistant at the national association of counties,

I assist our lobbyist on environment energy and

land use issues and getting the opportunity to

come out here and really see some of the land

use issues up close and personal not being in

Washington DC and coming here and seeing it

in person has been an extraordinary experience

We brought them out here to show them our

land so that they know how 90% of our

property owned by the government affects us,

Well at an event like this you get a chance to

talk to a lot of commissioners and folks

responsible for the preservation of our natural

resources but one of the areas that was very

interesting was listening to someone who helps

manage a large ranch operation and grazing

cattle are one of the elements we can use to

fight wild fires.

I think a lot of that stuff could be avoided by

managing I think there are so many people out

there that have the wrong idea about cattle and

don't think they are a benefit

We had a great turn out today it's a good event

a lot of knowledge from different people that

we haven't talked to before it really helped us

to know where we stand and I think it helped

them to know where they stand with us, great

turn out

I think it's helpful to bring people here from the

Nation's Capital here we got congressmen here

we got members of the staff of people in

Washington , they need to see our public land

they need to understand what's going on our

public land they need to understand why it's so

important for us to thin the forest to be able to

graze on the land to have multiple use so that

people of Utah and the Country can take

advantage of these extraordinary resources,

and that's hard to do if your just sitting at a

desk in Washington, you imagine everything is

Bryce National Park well there are millions and

millions of acres that are more than just Bryce

National park and they need to be thoughtfully

managed and that's something that will

hopefully be better understood by the people in

DC as they come on outings like this.

The six county association of

governments, who oversees the annual

event tells us that they have played no

favorites in where to take these rides. By

the year 2020 each county in the group

will have hosted the event 3 times. The

largest group to show up was also in the

most remote location, at Notch Peak in

Millard County with 103 riders. We will

be right back with some closing thoughts.

Welcome back to the County Seat. It is

surprising how much direct interplay

there is between the federal government

and our Washington representatives and

the counties. Of course, most of the

attention goes to the policy side with

frequent trips to meet with congressional

delegations from our state and others.

But there have been frequent trips where

county officials have been needed to

smooth out regulatory bumps with the

different federal agencies whose

administrative regulations have direct

impact on life here at home. Often those

visits by your local officials are the most

important of all. Federal regulators in the

executive branch, never are held

accountable to the people they regulate

as they are not elected. Frequently, the

people making policy aren't even

appointees of the White House so there

is almost no accountability for the harm

their policies can and do bring to local

communities. The only way to address

this inequity is to have local governments

engage with regulators face to face. So

when your county commissioner flies to

Washington on business, don't assume

they are there for the free tours of the

Smithsonian, it has been our experience

that their agendas are filled with

meetings trying to make things better for

you at home. It is often easy to look at

the time out of the County Seat as county

funded fun, but the work they do is

necessary and important to keeping a far

and distant branch of government on the

same page as those of us here at home.

It has been my experience that counties

with leaders who choose to withdraw

from interacting with other counties, the

state and federal peeps on their own turf,

often lose the very contact and clout they

need to advance any agenda healthy to

the home team. That is my two cents

worth for today. Thanks for watching.

You can watch this again by visiting our

YouTube channel, going to Facebook or

our website. If you follow our social

media, you will be able to join the

conversation and stay abreast of things

happening across the state. We will see

you again next week, on the County Seat

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