Yo bro! I don't do that! I'm straight yo!
But I'm gonna f*ck you. Is that your straight guy impression?
Yeah it is! Isn't it convincing?
Hey I'm Rory.
Hey I'm Alison!
And welcome to The Probe!
That's the show where we play adult video games and tell you if they're
worth you playing them or not or if they suck or if they're mediocre yeah or
anything inbetween. How sexy they are you know the important things. The important things.
Everything you want to know.
Today we're covering a game that's been
recommended to me by ALOT of people.
And I slept on it a bit because it's, A) not
finished and B) its...
American style art that isn't really my style.
It's created by someone named Dark Cookie and he's got a patreon that makes
$50,000 a month!
Jesus Christ what am I doing with my life? Not making porn games Rory!
Just reviewing them!
So clearly if that many people are willing to
support this game it's got to be good right? Yeah I must be.
It's gotta be. Look at all
the lists of fetishes! All right!
That you can have- Librarian!
Perfect!
Milking!?
So so far just from the description it seems like it covers all bases.
Trap?
You know what a trap is. Don't you?
I don't know...
It's when you think it's a girl but it's really a guy.
Noooo!
Yeah! That's like a thing they do-
Apparently you don't know what a trap is!
No! I've never heard that!
WHAT?!?
I am floored.
So, well is that like bait bus or something?
What is that?
You don't know what bait bus is?
No!
Rory are you 18 years or older?
Yes.
Ready? Exciting soundtrack.
Yeah- Art's beautiful. What name- What's our name Rory?
I always just name people after me when I play these games. Really?
Do you rename your characters of Final Fantasy 7 or like if you play ff7?
Yeah Cloud is Rory thank you.
Really?!? He's not Cloud. See I never renamed them.
I always do. Oh, I just leave them. Oh never.
I name them after all my friends and stuff.
Clean game means new players start from
scratch. Start with $20. Start with zero stats.
Cheats enabled- We'll probably want that.
We want the one where we fap sooner.
in order to properly review it we need to know what the gameplay is like.
So listen let's try this and if we go for a
little while and nothing happens we can start over and try this.
"March 3rd on a rainy afternoon. My father's funeral"
Off to a great start.
"I can't believe he's really gone." Really uplifting.
"He died from a work-related accident at the age of 40. Leaving me all alone with no family to speak of."
"There are three things I have to take care of before the end of the semester."
"1) I have to secure a way to pay the next semester's tuition. 2) I have to uncover"
"the truth about my father's murder, and 3) I have to find a date for the sorority ball."
Sorority ball!
I'm gonna do my best to make this gay so-
Just so you know.
I think I think we should just
give everyone a shot. Well I will certainly I'm not gonna say nobody but
if I get the option "Make this gay" sorry straights!
Oh cool we get to click on things!
What about the cookies? Oh they light up! We're gonna go for the cookies-
Oh we got a voyeur!
Those two people with the same. Oh hello!
"Too late. I always miss the best part."
God we're such a creeper.
Sweet. Cookies?
CoOkie?
"Box of my favorite cookies. I should keep them in my backpack in case I get hungry."
See! I bet you that's important later. (yeah) Now we have cookies.
There we go. Wow look at this.
We have to go to Eric's house. Oh! There's moving cars!
Oh that's really cute! That's cool.
Oh Eric, I'm not fucking you. Eric-
We can peep on him though! "Hey Eric." No I would I'd fuck Eric.
"What are you two losers looking at?"
"I think we're gonna looking at a combined IQ of 2."
Oh snap!
"HA HA HA"
(Nelson laugh) ha ha
"Excuse me?!?"
"Huh? I don't get it"
"Didn't your deadbeat loser of a father like kill himself or something?"
F*ckin bitch! Oh no you didn't!
"At least I had a father growing up!" You skank!
"And I don't live in a trailer." WOW. Trailer shaming.
"This isn't over, Rory."
My nemesis! We're gonna f*ck the sh*t out of her later.
AND Dexter! Let's double team them!
Aw man, I hate f*ck her.
Um, AND Dexter. She's gonna watch.
Oh together at the same time. okay I'm down.
Okay so we we've decided we're gonna go into the like cheats enabled
section to see if we can get some sex because we are we played like a little
bit of the gameplay so far to see what that was like but we want to see what the sex is like.
Yeah we just need to get to some SEX.
So we have money. Oh great so we can go to the mall and buy a swimsuit.
Okay. Is this the mall? Yep. "I love the mall!"
There's an upstairs. Pink? Ooh you could buy lingerie? Oh yeah!
Here's the sex toy store. "Wooooow!"
"That's, there's a lot of weird stuff in here." Why would that have that in a mall?
"Maybe these will all come in handy one day."
Oh hey! Let's get the blow-up doll!
"Bye." Oh, can we use that?
"Hey Baby!" "Hi! Can I help you with something?"
"Would you like to see our massage section pamphlet?" YES.
Yes!
Massage! "Could I see your massage pamphlet?"
"Sure! Suit yourself."
"Thanks!" Oh my god can we please do this? Oh my god.
The most expensive one is down here. Oh my god yes The Cowgirl.
"Yeah I'll have the ultimate please."
"Hehehehe you want it all don't you?"
"I uhhhhhhhh."
"I like myself an eager man."
"Follow me."
Yeah we're gonna get some! Right on!
We just have to pay for it! The mall is awesome!
OH. MY. GOD. He's ready.
"Hehehehe why are you still wearing that? we don't need towels for this kind of massage."
That's right.
Hey hey Ivy!
Oh Ivy!
"Hehe I wonder if it'll fit."
"Are you ready to feel heaven?" "Yeah!"
"Here we go!"
"Ahhh!"
"You okay?" "Yeah go ahead."
Oh! Oh what is this?
I don't know.
I can see it inside of her?!
That is gross no turn that off I don't like it! Oh, wait do it again.
You know what just leave it, just leave it on. On?
I'm morbidly curious. You can see it go into her guts.
I'm morbidly curious. I don't know what- is this like-
OH
MY
GOD
Keep going!
"Crap I'm at my limit! She's way too good at this. I'm gonna come!"
"Ha go ahead!"
Come inside?
Whatever you want.
Oh my god the inner thing is so weird I don't know how I feel about it.
"Hahahahahah"
"He lasted a pretty long time in there for a teenager."
Alright Allison so that was summertime saga. Yeah we played it.
Today's rating system is going to be
cookies because that's apparently a theme in the game thanks to the Creator.
So that's what we're going with. Cookies.
What kind of cookies? Sticky ones. Ew.
Let's start with the gameplay Rory how many cookies did you give the gameplay?
I gave it five out of five cookies. The gameplay was excellent it was a just a lot of
options and a lot of different things you could do it had it was so
expansive and like you had your money you could get you were trying to make
money to do certain things and then you really wanted to make that money. (yeah)
there's so much shit to buy (right) it's just great.
I also gave it 5 out of 5 I I did
preface this at the beginning of our gameplay by saying that I really loved
stat razors and I know that that's a thing that some people like. Some people don't.
If you do just want to get to the sex this is probably not the game for you. (yeah)
They make you work for it but I didn't feel like,
It's not monotonous. I don't know- yeah
I didn't feel bad. They kept it variety. like you're entertained and it's like cool.
And it really I think just enhances everything when you
you know are really working for it and you get to
know all these different characters they just yeah.
The graphics for this game I
gave 5 cookies because I loved it I loved the design too it was like something
I hadn't seen at its own it was an american-made game so it
didn't have the typical- I mean I love the anime style as well but this
just had a really great style that was very detailed they had so many different
layouts (they did!) and cutscenes and expressions (they did) and so many
characters to (right) with everybody everything was unique.
One of the things okay so before I say that
I gave it a 4 out of 5 and the only reason I didn't give it five out of five
is because like I said it's not a style I really like and so it kind of kept me
from playing it to start with that's my own personal bias but I, it honestly
deserves a high score because of the sheer variety of art that they had one
thing that they did that most games do not do is they had people in the
background. Like, that's not a thing that usually happens usually it's like a
character in front of a background that's got nobody in it but this one
Or that one where it was like all just faceless people.
I think they were kind of faceless?
I mean they were blurred out but,
But that's actually a clever way to do it is to blur them out.
For the story I gave it 5 out of 5 cookies. I thought
it was very developed and had a lot of great options I mean it didn't give you
I guess, I mean it did give you I guess that option to like go where you wanted
when you wanted. I like it when they give you dialogue options
for responses and maybe that would come later. I think maybe that- I think that might come. No I
feel like it would because we we saw a little bit of that.
I mean we did get options like at the mall to do what we wanted and pay for what we wanted
So that was awesome but yeah so I mean I gave it five because it was very
expensive and (it was) and very you get you yeah there were so many options for
what you could do and I I love that about it.
I gave it four out of five
cookies and once again the reason it didn't get perfect is because the story
while good and detailed was not anything unique or new (that's true) it's a story
that's been done many times before. The whole like guy in school you know going
about his school life is something that is not, I've played lots of those.
But what I did see of the story was good enough for me to give it four out of
five because I felt I was interested in the characters they seemed you know to
have personalities they were definitely cliche but I am okay with cliches.
But there was such a variety I felt like. Yes. There's somebody for everybody yeah for
sure definitely somebody for everybody.
I don't know how much I cared about the dad storyline.
That was a little odd yeah. I mean it would get like good and
dramatic when it's like "Who did it?" and then you find out and then maybe you get
to f*ck him that would be fun.
Wait, f*ck the killer? YES
OF COURSE! If that's not an option I don't know why they put it in here!
I hope it's like somebody we know.
Well definitely! I think it's got to be somebody you know that did it.
And that's I think one of the fun parts of the like it takes it up a notch!
I mean I'm interested- It's a little less ordinary because they added that weird
murder mystery aspect to it. Yeah you're right. You're right they did try to make it a
little bit less schooldays and a little bit more like here's this murder but I
don't know I kind of didn't care I kind of just wanted to fuck my classmates. (yeah)
Well I wanted to fuck the killer. Okay? Wow.
Maybe one day. Teach them to kill my dad! Wow.
Wow You're gonna you're gonna show them with your 12-inch cock!
Yes! That's how justice works in summertime land whatever this is.
Finally the sexiness of Summertime Saga! How many cookies does it get?
I gave it five cuz it was f*cking
sexy I loved the the character designs and I thought it did a great job with
just the cutscenes for the sex that we actually did get to see at the mall.
It was great but one of the biggest things like that I think you would be able to
do is you can basically fuck anybody in this game.
Yeah I think so too.
I think you would like Dexter I think you can fuck that guy eventually.
You're gonna work on Dexter. And I LOVE that!
I also gave it 5 out of 5 cookies because I mean they literally do include everything that you
could ever want and honestly, okay well I did think the x-ray thing was weird.
That was an interesting option. Super interesting I literally never seen that before.
I didn't even think of that but yeah that goes into my five 5 cookies!
I mean I'm just I feel like x-ray f*cking her guts. That was f*ckin awesome.
I feel like the reason to get the full score is because it literally thought of everything!
Like it included everything I even felt like the like scene in the locker room where she makes them strip was kinda sexy?
That was great!
Yes! I loved that! Little things like that. It was just like, yeah super little but yet, still like,
It was phenomenal. Yeah just attention to detail it was just so good.
And like funny like you know it was great.
What's your final score?
I don't know if this is a first but I gave it f*cking 100%
That is a first.
I loved it I thought it was so well rounded and so great because it well and of course
again I don't know for sure if you could f*ck the guys but I loved I feel like
that was where it was going where you can f*ck the guys too and that's perfect if
you can do anything like that.
Right. However you want it to go do it.
Because if you're if you want it you got it if you don't you don't have to do it.
It's true. It's perfect.
I gave it an 80% which is still pretty good and I feel
like honestly I was trying to find things wrong with it because I felt
weird about giving it a hundred. It deserves a high score it was really well done.
I 100% understand why this game has so many supporters on
patreon. It is so well thought out and there's a lot in there
and I mean it's not my perfect game which is I guess is why it doesn't get a
hundred but it it's good. It's good. Play play the shit out of this. Yeah.
I recommend playing this game. Definitely Yes.
Cool!
We have a hundred score! We should like-
There should be some kind of fanfare! Confetti!
Confetti!
For a game that gets 100% from one of us.
Holy sh*t it'll probably never happen again.
I don't even know if I gave the gay one 100% but that was a pretty good one.
That one was really good too.
I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as we did.
So, I don't know,
Probe seal of approval go download it.
the link will be down because right now you can download it for free.
Because it's in alpha. And it was great. I mean we didn't even get it into it as
far as I would love to go into it and see what you can do with all the items we bought
which I hope that they have that in there. To like use all those
dildos and use the blow up doll and crap.
That would be so much fun. There's still just so much enjoyment you can
get and I mean considering you could download the alpha for free what are
you waiting for go download it now. Do it.
And then support the patreon. See what all the fuss is about. For reals.
Till next time.
Let's probe on out here. I want a gooey cookie.
That sounds delicious. It does let's go get some cookies.
okay bye!
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