News on Youtube Oct 26 2018

You know we tend to think of loss as a negative thing.

Well today, we're going to talk about the loss of a relationship or losing a

relationship. Could it be that that's not a negative thing? Thanks for joining us

again today. We're talking about loss and what is loss? And how does it affect us

in our lives. And specifically today, we're going to talk about the loss of a

relationship. And we're going to talk about a relationship that is an

important relationship in our life. So, this could be the loss of a loved one, it

could be a friend, co-worker or boss. Any relationship that is important and

meaningful to us. But before we talk about the loss, again, we're going to talk

about the principles that surround this. Because oftentimes, the solution to the

problem that we're facing really what it requires is just a different

understanding of the problem or a different way of looking at the problem.

If we don't correctly understand what the problem is or where it lies then

we're never going to find the solution to the problem. And so, let's talk about

loss. What is loss? Does loss even exist? Think about that. So, in order to

lose something, first we have to have something, right? I mean for me to lose my

life, I first have to have a life to lose. In order for me to lose a job, I first

have to have a job to lose. In order for me to lose money, I

first have to have money to lose. So, in order to lose a relationship, we first

have to have a relationship to lose. Well, if I have a relationship and then I lose

that relationship, what do I really lose? So before I had that relationship, was

that considered a loss in my life because I didn't have that relationship?

Or I go from a place of not having a relationship to having the relationship.

So now, I've gained something in my life. Now I lose that relationship. Do I really

lose anything? Because I still have what I had. That relationship and the time

that I spent in that relationship is not taken from me. So, everything that I

gained, the time that I spent with that person, the experiences that we had

together, the things that I learned from that

person and through that relationship, I don't lose any of that. I get to hang on

to that and to keep that. And actually I get to use that to move forward in my

life to help me and benefit me in future relationships. The only thing that I lose

is what could have been that I yet don't have. But here's the thing. If I focus on

the loss and and what I don't have, what I miss out on is everything that I did

have and still have. So, I take a positive thing in my life. And by focusing on what

I don't have moving forward, I oftentimes lose or tarnish or turn into a negative

things. Something that was positive in my life. So when I'm in that place of

scarcity and loss, whenever I think about this individual, I think about

losing that relationship. So, it brings emotion of unhappiness into my life.

And I lose all of the positive that I could have gained from that and the

benefit of using that in creating new relationships and moving forward. So,

losing a relationship? No, it cannot happen. All we can do is create

relationships then we can focus on making those relationships the very best

that we can make them. Gaining from them and providing giving to the relationship

all that we can to make it as positive as possible. Knowing that most

relationships that we have in this life are going to end at some point. So, we

could be fearful and some people do this ,right?

Some people are fearful of losing a relationship and so they don't engage in

a relationship. So fear keeps me from getting close to anyone because I'm

afraid that they're going to leave me or they're going to die or they're going to

reject me. And so I keep people at a distance and I'm never able to

experience the closeness that can come from allowing myself to develop a real,

loving relationship with another person. So, I encourage you to to just be aware

of your beliefs and your mindset about loss. And to consider changing that

belief that loss even exists. And to look at this earth experience as one of

opportunity. And that if we've ever had something in our life, whether that's a

relationship or anything else, we focus on what we gained from having it and

then we move forward with excitement and hope for what we can attract and bring

into our relationship in the future. So, what are the new relationships do we

have the ability to go out and to create and to enjoy for the period of time

that those relationships exist. Thanks for watching today. Hopefully you found

what we talked about today useful and beneficial to you. And if so, subscribe to

our channel if you haven't done that already. And come back and visit us again

tomorrow.

For more infomation >> How To Deal With Loss Of Relationship - Duration: 7:12.

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3 Things That Make a GREAT Book Relationship! - Duration: 1:45.

(cheery music)

- A book relationship is chemistry, communication

and empathy towards each other.

- I look for the chemistry between the hero and heroine.

- They have to have a chance.

A lot of book relationships start off

with them having so many things that hold them apart

that even though they've gotten together

you wonder what's going to happen three years from now.

- They've gotta have some sense of excitement.

Something has to be happening,

some sort of greater thing than: "Oh he's hot."

- Chemistry, a sense of humor,

and the ability to make each other a better person

than when you started.

- Loyalty, humor and compassion.

- Communication, respect and support!

- What's the one thing that the hero, or heroine,

should not ever be involved in,

that that author had better put them right in the middle of.

That's gonna make it a good story for me.

- The two people have to have something really intrinsic

and common that attracts them.

They say that opposites attract

but I don't really believe that.

- They have to respect each other,

even if they don't necessarily get along at first.

'Cause we all like the tension.

- That idea of being better together.

You know, that good match

where you both make each other better.

- And then all of what they wanted,

and their goals, and their passions

become secondary to taking care of that person.

And that's where the real love starts and you've got me.

That's what I love!

(cheery music)

For more infomation >> 3 Things That Make a GREAT Book Relationship! - Duration: 1:45.

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How To Storm Proof Your Relationship || KADRIAN THOMAS - Duration: 6:02.

so how do you storm proof your relationship how do you storm prove your

marriage we all know what a storm is right a storm is when there is a buildup

of heat and cold of pressure in the atmosphere or the meteorological system

causing heavy rains heaviest thunderstorms lightning etc I am Kadrian

Thomas and on this channel I share tips of how you can enrich and enhance your

relationship so how do you start with your marriage or your relationship

doesn't mean that you will not have storms in your relationship that you

will not have storms in your marriage now many people are many folk they are

attuned to the weather channel on the radio are on the TV and they will not

leave home without taking note of what is going to happen during the daytime

with the weather just imagine if you were attuned to your relationship to

your marriage just as all these folk are attuned to the Weather Channel

of what is happening now if farmers stayed attuned to the weather channel just as

all these folk are we would all die hunger because they would never plant a

seed however when we do tune in to the weather channel and we hear that there

is an impending storm there are certain things that we put in place there are

certain things that we do we buy extra food we buy extra fuel we get extra

water because after a storm usually if your home is affected by it

it's going to take a time for you to rebuild and to reposition yourself and

regain momentum it's no different with your relationship in preparing for the

storms which are ahead the problem however is that most folks never plan

never prepare for the storms that are impending in the relationship so how do

you storm proof your relationship while reading this book written by John

Gottman called the seven principles that makes marriage

work I came across a statement or a phrase or a theory called the PSO

positive sentiment override what it means is that each partner is so

positive and optimistic about their partner that it

supersedes any negative thoughts that they hold toward each other they are so

positive that the positive thoughts supersedes the negatives that are in the

relationship or negative thoughts that they have toward each other now many

relationship started out on such a high note where each partner was so positive

about their relationship about their partner that they couldn't see the

relationship derailing but over a period of time with irritation

arguments fights unresolved issues those turn into resentment and eventually

separation in the marriage now how do you build PSO now PSO can be likened

to the setpoint approach to exercise whereby the body has a set point where

it just does not fall below a certain threshold when it comes to weight loss

so in order to lose weight one has got to go on a rigorous regimen of dieting

and exercise to go below a certain point with the body

and the same is true for those who want to gain weight they have to reset their

metabolism so for those who find it hard to lose weight they have to speed up

their metabolism rate while those who find it hard to gain weight has to find

a way to slow it down and to go on exercise and take additional supplements

and nutrients in order to build their muscles up so in order to build positive

sentiment override in the relationship for it to have that set point where no

matter what is thrown at you in life you can weather the storm you can start with

your relationship is that at the core of it you need to be a friend to your

partner to your spouse because usually friends you cry on your friends shoulder

right you tell your friend what is happening you are open you are

vulnerable you look toward the future positively and so at the poor at PSO

positive sentiment override being so positive about your partner

being so positive about him or her that you give him or her the benefit of the

doubt at all times now for example if my wife is having a rough day or a

challenging day and I may ask her for something I'm looking for and she

answers me in a tone that is very edgy I don't take it personal because I know at

the moment it's just a fleeting moment in her experience she may be irritated

by something or she is overwhelmed by what she is doing so having that

positive mindset towards my wife being so positive because we are friends at

the core of our relationship then the relationship is so positive that it

would take a cataclysmic event to stir the relationship and to overturn the

relationship just like in your body it would take a major sickness for example

or rigorous regimen or dieting in order to lose weight below a certain threshold so to

build positive sentiment override you need to be a friend to your partner at

the core of your relationship and when you are friends you can weather the

storm you can storm proof your relationship against any life events

that are thrown at you before you go share this video leave a comment or give

me a thumbs up and if you've not yet subscribe to my youtube channel go right ahead and do so

now come on what are you waiting on subscribe and click that notification

bell so that you can be notified each time I post a new video on this channel

now peace out guys

For more infomation >> How To Storm Proof Your Relationship || KADRIAN THOMAS - Duration: 6:02.

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Married at 23 My Relationship Advice (With subs) | 23歲成為人妻的愛情心得 - Duration: 10:25.

Hi guys, it's Yuffie here.

Lemme briefly introduce myself first

so that we can get to know each other ♥

I was lucky enough to marry a wonderful man at 23.

After the heartbreaking first love,

I met my husband who has changed my life for the better.

Today I've summed up what I've learnt from my relationship

and share with you 3 useful tips

to help you and your partner maintain a healthy relationship.

Stay tuned! ♥

Just to let you know that

I'm not a relationship expert.

I'm an ordinary girl like you who has been through heartbreaks

like having a crush on someone and being rejected.

Though I'm no relationship expert,

I believe the following advice can inspire you

no matter which gender you are.

Most of us usually say love

"I love you"

"I miss you"

Saying love is easy

but only by showing love can you spread love.

Showing love through action is a subtle but powerful way

to express how special he/she means to you.

Lemme give you an example.

After graduating from university,

I had an interview for my first graduate job.

On my way to the office,

I found my husband (who was still my boyfriend)

waiting for me at the stop when I got off the bus.

He was there hoping to give me support

and calm my nerves before the interview.

I was really grateful for his company

and he even prepared breakfast for me.

Thanks god I eventually got the job offer.

In the first week of work,

he was my greatest cheerleader

who stopped by the train station early every morning

to let me know that he'd be by my side

and root for me as always.

Sometimes he couldn't make it to the train station

he'd just pass by the block where I worked,

take a selfie to let me know that he was there for me

and to cheer me up.

Then he'd head off to work.

I'm not asking guys to be super romantic

or do tricks to make someone fall for you.

But if you really mean to maintain the relationship,

I'm sure you'd do anything for your lover.

It can be little things that make his/her day

like making time or effort for him/her.

Showing your love through action is way more powerful that saying it.

Show her you're her hero whom she can rely on now

as well as in the future.

This is particularly important for men.

Women are usually more expressive in love

such as writing love letters.

So man up, guys!

Show him/her she's the only one

who deserves your effort

and your lover will know he/she is the special one.

It may sound corny but guys

it's really important to know when does your lover

usually experience negative emotions.

Sharing happiness is easy

but helping your lover overcome negative emotions

or examining his/her emotional patterns

is always challenging but necessary in a relationship.

I used to be easily irritated at night

or when I was worn out.

I'd become short-tempered.

I didn't even realise it was a negative emotional pattern:(

Besides, it happened when I was in somewhere crowded.

As we often skyped before bed,

my husband was quite shocked at first

when my negative emotions crept in.

But he was so patient with me

and figured out the reasons behind my emotions.

I think it's essential to know "why"

instead of just tolerating.

By figuring out the reasons or patterns,

you will not take the problem personal.

Now my husband knows if I'm annoyed at night,

it's probably because I'm tired at the end of the day.

He won't fall out with me over this

and I won't blame myself to be Debbie Downer.

Our negativity usually comes with patterns,

say in particular time

or particular situation

that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Find out the reasons. If you don't get it, relax and talk.

Stop taking the problem personal

as it is always the root of endless arguments

or miscommunication.

If he/she gets short-tempered or impatient at night,

why don't you leave the serious topics until tomorrow

or text him/her the next day? :)

Love is just chilling if you know how to do it right.

You will subconsciously impress your lover

that you are the only person in the world

who is the ultimate best friend that

makes him/her feel so in love even in the worst times.

It can be something that even family don't notice.

Make it as your habit

and you will take your relationship to the next level.

Most people don't think the small things matter

but it is exactly the subtle moves that change the game.

Say when you keep a pet,

you pay attention to its traits.

So when you are having a committed relationship,

why wouldn't you remember his/her little things

and make it as a habit?

Do it and do it for her only (let him/her know!)

If you are horrible at this, at least try.

This is definitely a bonus trait.

Honestly it came as a complete surprise to me

that I'm pretty good at this.

Then I realised my husband really appreciated it

and many don't find this trait a must.

Let's say he tells you a film he likes,

food he wants to try

or countries he wants to visit

After a period of time, you can bring it up to him.

"Hey babe let's watch this film tonight!"

"Still wanna go there? We can travel this holiday."

"Oh wow, you still remember it?" he replies. BINGO.

Make him/her impressed by how observant you are.

Friends come and go

and people rarely pay much attention to our little things.

Be the special one who makes him/her feel special.

Using techniques in love is not an evil thing

as long as you do it to him/her only.

Win his/her heart! ♥

Thank you for supporting this video

and this is actually my first ever YouTube video.

I hope to become your sister or best friend

and share with you things that make your day

like beauty hacks,

wedding preparation

and more lifestyle hacks ♥

Support and Subscribe ♥

Turn on the notification button

and follow @yufffie.g to be friends!

The more support I get from y'all,

the sooner we will meet again ♥

♥ Stay tuned ♥