- In the 4-Day Work Week Journey
there are 4 stages I've identified that most people
proceed to as they gain mastery.
The first stage I'd like to call
the 4-Day Work Week Apprentice.
This is when we focus on maximizing our life
outside of work without needing to change jobs.
So even though over time we might evolve eventually
to being an entrepreneur or business owner
or the next step a 4-Day Work Week Worker.
At some point we want to be able to master
our ability to optimize life outside of work.
These things include our relationships,
how we invest our time, how we invest our money,
and the things we posses.
Now in any of these stages, there are certain milestones,
or steps you achieve, where it's really kind
confirmed that you kind of mastered this.
And in the step where we look at the relationships
where that part of being a 4-Day Work Week Apprentice
there are 10 things I've identified.
Now, you might not agree with every one of them
or you might decide to tweak it for yourself.
But here's what I found that worked for me and people I know
when I'm on top of things.
Now to be really clear, I'm a human.
Sometimes I'm on top of these, sometimes I'm not.
But when I am on top of these
my life goes infinitely better than when I'm not.
So the first thing is taking about 30 minutes a day
to develop and nurture your relationship with God or Spirit
or whatever you happen to believe in.
Now if you say wait, I don't believe in that.
That's okay.
Maybe it's just 30 minutes to be with yourself,
to be with your thoughts.
However you're going to look at that.
But time to kind of disconnect from the world
and not be present to a lot of the chaos and the overwhelm
of a lot of the experience every day.
And in each of these things what I'm going to show you
is rather than us just talking about it I'm going to
show you where this can be something that you decide
A) am I going to do this, B) what's the target date I'm going to
set for this, and then you can track the status on for you.
If you're just listening to this you'll be able to see
there's a worksheet that goes along with this
that you can download as well.
The second thing is having the time and the attention,
and that's important, not just the time,
but the present attention for one family gathering
or event each week.
Now, again, if you don't have family nearby,
you might modify this.
You might say, your loved ones or the people who are like
family to you.
The third thing is time and attention, again, both necessary
for one social gathering or event each week.
This is extremely important if you already do have family
and separate from that you have friends or other people
other than your family.
If we really only ever focus on relying on our immediate
family or a certain group of people to always be there for
us and always be that means of satisfying our social needs,
there can be a lot of pressure on them.
So being able to have other people that are social,
peers, friends, influences as well
can be extremely important.
The next one, if you like to,
you don't have to do this but most people find that when
they have time and attention for one romantic date
or event each week.
I know for me when I get time with my wife
the week goes so much better
and when we've gone a few weeks and we've not gotten to that
for whatever reason maybe 'cause work's just getting too
serious or life's too serious
and we just couldn't find a babysitter.
That's something that makes life not as enjoyable
so we're not optimizing the time that we already
have available to us.
Time and attention to be fully present for family meals
at least one hour a day.
Now a lot of these I'm putting time indications on it
or numbers on it to try to give you an anchor
because if I just say well, some time's family time.
A lot of us have a tendency to let ourselves off the hook
or simply not be clear in implementing that.
So I'm going to suggest to you that family meals,
whether it's two meals a day, or a half hour each,
or three meals for 20 minutes, or one for an hour.
About an hour of just time with your family
and being present with them.
This is one of the things that a lot of people find,
especially in the western cultures, where we can be so fast
paced and so trying to achieve,
(exhales)
that we don't make time to just be present
and be with each other and so there's a combination there.
It's a little bit of managing our time.
But it's also about making time for and valuing
our most important relationships.
Time and attention to be fully present for family members
at least one hour a day outside of meals.
My family likes to play board games sometimes.
It seems almost so trivial.
Well you say, wait, you've played that game before.
It's not about the game.
It's about being present and no disrespect to television
but it's not the same as sitting in front of the TV
with your family for an hour.
If you also choose to do that,
that's great, but in my experience you're not going to get
the same level of connection if you're actually
interacting with each other.
Regular on a monthly basis or more often
forgiveness practices to maintain your psychological
and emotional health and just to heal relationships.
There's different ways to do this.
Different religions have practices.
There's different psychological tools.
There's all sorts of different ways.
There's a thing that I learned form a teacher,
Deepak Chopra, that he just has a mantra and says hey,
you know what, I can choose to hold on to grievances
or I can choose the positive side or some miracle behind it
and so I'm going to let go of my grievances.
I'm going to let go of the things that I'm mad about
and I'm going to choose to look for the miracle,
for the forgiveness, for the opportunity and that.
And for me, going through that and saying that
five to 10 times whenever I remember to do.
I don't always remember to it but when I do
it just helps me remember okay,
and I kind of check things off.
Okay, let's let go of that one, that wasn't a big deal.
That's not gonna matter a year from now,
that's not gonna matter a day from now, great.
And just, letting that out
and just kind of moving forward.
Very important.
If we're going to look to have more time off
and more time in the 4-Day Work Week
and more extended time.
We're gonna want to put ourselves in a situation
where we're enjoying our time outside of work.
So this is a huge part of that.
Contacting our important relationships,
even if they're long distance, at least on a monthly
basis to stay connected.
This is one of the wonderful things that does come
from social media if you're able to connect on
let's say Facebook or Instagram
in a way that you find healthy and beneficial for you.
You can connect with people and stay in touch
with people you haven't seen for years.
And being able to maintain relationships
is one of the things that is very important
and if you haven't heard there's that book The Five Regrets
of the Dying and one of the regrets of the dying
was I wish I hadn't worked so much and another regret was
I wish I stayed in touch with my friends.
And so that's such a huge piece of happiness personally
and our needs as social beings.
Number nine, this is so huge,
and again, these are signals of mastery,
so we can move towards these.
It's not going to be perfect,
but when you find you're spending zero time
in organizations, or companies that you don't respect
or believe in, that's a really good sign.
And notice I didn't say organizations or jobs
that ask you to do work you don't like to do.
Everybody's gotta do some work they don't always like to do
but if you just don't believe in the cause in
a fundamental way or if you don't respect the organization
or the company it's probably a good idea
over the long run that you get out of there
and you go somewhere else.
And then finally, less than one hour a week with people
or groups you don't wish to see.
Now there's an asterisk next to that because sometimes
you might have family connections or in-laws or people
that you just see and for the sake of the family
you go see that group and yet,
you might say, well,
I don't like that person or that person.
I wouldn't choose to hang out with them individually.
So there's an asterisk there because again,
you might make choices or there might be certain people
that you hang our in a group because the group
does something and you like the group activity.
But you wouldn't choose to hang out
with them as individuals.
Again, life's not perfect, but for the most part
you're in a situation where you're not engaged
in the relationships that you don't want to be in
and you're making lots of time for the relationships
with the people you want to be engaged in.
I hope you find that helpful,
understanding these mastery milestones
for your relationships.
Again, we want to help you make more money in less time
doing what you do best.
But if, after we do that,
you're not enjoying your relationships outside of work,
we still have work to do.
I hope you find this helpful.
If you want to see the slides on this
you can go to 4dayentrepreneur.com
and get the show slides and notes.
And if you want to learn more about becoming
a 4-Day Work Week Apprentice and the process
of the different stages in that and other specific
tools we have to help you master that
go to 4dayworkweek.com/apprentice
and learn about the 4-Day Work Week Apprentice
training program.
For more infomation >> Fresno police officer shows students the importance of building a positive relationship early on - Duration: 2:41. 
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