News on Youtube Oct 26 2017

Are you hooking up with someone, but wonder if this could be something more?

So many people are stuck in the "friends with benefits" stage, but want to turn it

into a real relationship. How do we do that though? That's exactly what we will

be discussing in today's video.

Hey everyone, welcome back to TLC Thursday. I am your host and coach for

today. My name is Christal Fuentes, Author of "How

to be H.O.T. - Your Guide to Becoming Happy, Open and Trusting in Your Relationships"

as well as the founder of TheLadiesCoach.com. A site that gives women free

resources that can make their life a little easier. Today we are going to be

talking about how a friends-with-benefits relationship can

turn into the real deal. So many women ask me if it's possible, and what I think. First of all I

think friends-with-benefits usually gets a bad rap. I think the common

misconception is that women are incapable of having sex without emotions

getting in the way. And although that could be true to some extent, that is a

very generalized statement. I think people forget that women are also sexual

creatures, and a lot of women are sexually wired. Meaning more than

anything for these women, sex gets the priority. Who's seen Sex in the City? We

all know and love Samantha right?

"Yes it was. Now if you'll excuse me I have

another tour group coming through my vagina in ten minutes."

Truth is she's not an unrelatable character, in fact lots of women relate

to her sexual drive. Everything about Samantha was the benefits of it all. With

that said, even Samantha turned a friends with benefit relationship into

real love. Now I know this is a fictional character but like I said before, she is

actually very relatable. So for all of my "benefits" babes, I want you to know that

it's definitely possible to turn a sexual relationship into true love, but

there's definitely some things we have to know and that's what we're going to

be chatting about now. Before you turn your booty-call into Prince Charming, you

have to tell the truth about what's real and what's not. If he or she is not on

same page and you know this to be true, then forcing a relationship is not going

to work. A relationship is a choice two people make to be together, not just one.

One way you could put your feelers out there, is to see if your "friend" is

initiating any quality time with you. Especially if you're dating a masculine

man, a man will usually show his interest in someone he's pursuing. But don't be

afraid to do some initiating yourself. It's obvious you both have aligned

sexual interests, but it's important to see if you guys have shared non-sexual

interest. You can do this by inviting your friend to be a part of some of the

things you enjoy doing. If you notice this person is also inviting you to do

the same, then that might be a good sign. Once you start spending more time with

each other outside of the bedroom, the next thing you can do is get to know

each other on a real level. What does this person value in life, and is it congruent

to your values? What matters most to this person and is it something you can

support? Where does this person see themselves and does it conflict with

your own vision? It's important we get more clear about who we are wanting to

jump into a potential relationship with, because the number one thing that kills

relationships most is the illusions we create about our romantic partners. The

stories and false realities we make up in order to persuade ourselves that it's

okay to jump into a relationship that may not

be right for us. So pretty much what I'm saying is tell the truth. Get to know

this person, without getting stuck on the outcome you want. When we get too

attached is when we play ourselves, and that's exactly what we don't. You

want this person to see your most authentic self, so you know they are

falling for the real you and not an illusion. Okay so now you are starting to

spend more I'm outside of the bedroom. You're

participating in each other's interests, and have aligned values and visions. The

next thing I recommend you do is ASK. It doesn't hurt asking this person where

they see this relationship going. In fact it gives you clarity for where you could

be directing your energy. Again, don't get too attached to a specific outcome

because at the end of the day you really want to make sure it's not one-sided, and

both of you are choosing to invest in this together. Even if they don't want

a committed relationship, at least you have gotten clear and aren't prolonging

a one-sided relationship. But since I like ending videos on a high note I will

say some of the most beautiful relationships I know started from a

friends with benefits. Does this help? I want to hear from you.

Do you have a friends-with-benefits story that ended up in true love? Comment

below! Also if you've gained any insight from this video and know someone who

could use this, please share it with them. As always, make sure you subscribe to

this channel and don't miss any more videos. We come out with videos every

Thursday, and head to theladiescoach.com for more resources that can

make your life a little easier. Til next time. MUAH!

For more infomation >> How to Turn "Friends with Benefits" into a Real Relationship - Dating Advice for Women - Duration: 6:32.

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5 Relationship Lessons We Should've Been Taught in School: REAL Dating Advice for Women - Duration: 4:27.

Science, literature and math, all amazing topics that you learn in school and in recent

years we've introduced sex-ed to the equation.

Alright, so you take the penis and you take the vagina and you smash them together and

you get babies.

Any questions?

- Kid, I've been divorced four times.

How thewould I know?

Here's the problem, most teachers, they don't want to talk about love because they don't

feel like they have any wisdom to pass on to children.

So we stay away from the topic.

Here are five relationship lessons that I wish that I was taught in school.

And don't worry, even if you're 50, it's not too late to learn.

Keep watching.

Hey there, Adam Lodolce from SexyConfidence.com where I help the 21st Century woman create

a love life that she absolutely freaking loves.

And you know what?

We're gonna just jump right into this one.

Lesson number five is that, if you love and respect yourself first, a healthy relationship

will naturally come next.

Don't rely on finding someone else to love you, rely on yourself to always love yourself

unconditionally.

I really believe that love should never really complete you.

It should supplement your already amazing life.

I think a lot of younger people and older people, quite frankly, need to learn that

losing yourself in a relationship becoming a we instead of a me, can feel like this ultimate

expression of love, it's something that we see in Disney movies and something that we're

taught about this perfect idea of love, but it's not always a sign of a happily committed

couple.

And sometimes that level of intensity signals an unhealthy form of attachment.

Lesson number four, talk to strangers.

Adults tell us not to talk to strangers out of fear of what might happen.

But I think that strangers aren't necessarily the problem.

Lack of social skills are the problem.

If you don't get comfortable meeting new people as a younger person, then as you get older,

it doesn't get any easier.

Get out there, experience new people.

Be open in talking to people who have a totally different view point than yours.

People who might have different opinions than you have and people of different backgrounds.

This is going to give you those instincts as you get older to know who to trust and

who not to trust.

When it comes to love, quite frankly, the more you people meet, the more you might just

be surprised as to the type of people you may end up falling for.

Lesson number three, is that it's easy to get sucked into a bad relationship, and it's

hard asto get out of it.

We're always taught when we're younger to follow our heart, follow our emotions.

And when you fall in love, just go for it.

But rarely do we ever talk about that heart-wrenching pain that ensues when a relationship just

doesn't work out.

The pain, the confusion, the difficulty involved in getting out of the relationship.

And I'm convinced that there are just millions of people right now living in shitty relationships

just because they're afraid to break up.

I really believe that people need to be taught that breakups aren't necessarily bad.

Avoiding breakups are bad.

Lesson number two, don't marry someone until you've lived with them for at least a year.

Look, it's the 21st century and I do not believe that you should go from dating to marriage

without at least living with someone for at least a year.

Once you move in with someone people change for the good and the bad.

And when you live with them, at least you can get a feel for whether or not it's a really

good fit.

And I know some people aren't gonna like this advice.

But you know what I don't like?

The statistics about divorce.

I believe that if you just had that chance to get a feel for whether or not someone's

really a fit by living with them, you're gonna be much less likely to get divorced, later

on.

And lesson number one is that, relationships are formed in real life, not by texting, online

dating or tinder.

Now, I can't tell you how many people ask me dating questions about a person that they

met online, who they haven't yet met in real life.

And it's insane.

People who have had these online relationships going for three to five, six months, years

and beyond and people think it's a real relationship.

My advice is if you haven't met someone, if you haven't seen them, if you haven't touched

them, they do not exist in the real world.

Let me ask you.

Do you wish you were taught these lessons in school growing up?

Leave a comment right there below.

And if you agree with the lessons in this video, please share it because I know a lot

of people need to hear it.

Also, if you enjoyed this video make sure you click on that link right there or up there

or anywhere on this page and head on over to sexyconfidence.com.

We have a ton of amazing resources that are gonna help you through every single stage

of dating, relationships and finding love.

And finally, if you enjoyed the video, please give it a like on YouTube and also don't forget

to subscribe on YouTube right down there below for more videos just like this every single

Thursday.

Thank you so much for watching and I'll speak to you, you sexy lady, next Thursday.

Bye-bye.

For more infomation >> 5 Relationship Lessons We Should've Been Taught in School: REAL Dating Advice for Women - Duration: 4:27.

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'The Good Place' Sneak Peek: Tahani, Jason Reveal Their Relationship To Michael - Duration: 3:04.

'The Good Place' Sneak Peek: Tahani, Jason Reveal Their Relationship To Michael

Michael learns about Tahani and Jason's relationship in a sneak peek from tonight's episode of NBC's "The Good Place."

In a sneak peek from Season 2, episode 7, Tahani (Jameela Jamil) and Jason (Manny Jacinto) go to Michael's (Ted Danson) office to let him know that there may be something wrong about Janet (DArcy Carden).

"Excuse us, Michael. But we've been trying to call Janet and she's not answering," Tahani tells the afterlife architect upon their arrival at his office.

Janet, who is in Michael's office, greets the pair and quickly explains why she wasn't responding to their calls. "Hi, guys. I'm broken," the sentient database says.

Michael tells Tahani and Jason that he had taken Janet offline for a little while for a system check, adding that she should be available soon.

"Cool," Jason says. "I'm just so freakin' excited because Tahani said she's never had jalapeño poppers and I wanted to get some for her."

"It sounds so disgusting," Tahani comments. "But if Jason likes them, maybe I will, too, because we are together."

To confirm what he has just heard, Michael asks if they are sleeping together.

"Only when we're done having sex," Jason replies. "Anyway, can Janet help us?

"As soon as Michael puts me back online, I'll be more than happy to help you get that extra special gift for Tahani," Janet tells Jason.

But soon after Janet is done talking, something very weird happens: everything around them is stripped off, leaving the quartet standing in a dark empty space.

While Jason believes that they just got robbed, Michael seems to think that the latest glitch in the neighborhood has something to do with the issue Janet is experiencing.

Janet has begun to experience some weird stuff since she started to help Tahani and Jason work on their relationship in Season 2, episode 6.

When Janet said that she would "feel great" about giving the two couples therapy, her right thumb detached from her hand and flew into the air like a balloon.

When Tahani asked what was happening, Janet said that she wasn't sure. "My guess is I'm operating in a way I'm not designed for, and it's creating a small glitch," Janet said.

Later in the episode, Janet strangely threw up a frog when she told Tahani and Jason that she's happy for them. And after telling the couple the same thing a month later, the whole neighborhood was shaken by an earthquake.

While the reason behind Janet's issue remains unclear, a popular fan theory suggests that Janet can't stop glitching because she's pretending to be happy for Tahani and Jason.

As fans know, Janet was once married to Jason, and even though she has already been rebooted 802 times, series creator Michael Schur previously teased to Variety that Janet might have memories of previous events.

"The Good Place" Season 2, episode 7, titled "Janet and Michael," airs tonight at 8:30 p.m. EDT on NBC.

For more infomation >> 'The Good Place' Sneak Peek: Tahani, Jason Reveal Their Relationship To Michael - Duration: 3:04.

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Camilla Thurlow doesn't feel pressure from Love Island stars over relationship with Jamie Jewitt - Duration: 2:26.

Camilla Thurlow 'doesn't feel pressure' from Love Island co-stars over relationship with Jamie Jewitt – and hasn't ruled out more reality TV

CAMILLA Thurlow has opened up about her relationship with Jamie Jewitt. Jamie Jewitt and Camilla Thurlow are still very much together [Wenn].

The Love Island stars have stayed together since leaving the villa, but have refrained from flaunting their romance on social media – meaning they are often questioned by fans if they're still together.

But Camilla Thurlow insists her and Jamie Jewitt don't let their ITV2 co-stars influence them, and they are happily taking their relationship at their own pace.

We don't feel any pressure, as long as we're happy, she admitted. We are just taking things at our own pace. Camilla Thurlow has joined Huffington Post's new docs-reality series The New Activists [HuffPost/Monkey].

I think the trick is to enjoy things as they are now, and that builds a strong foundation for the future, the 27 year old added to MailOnline.

Camilla also revealed that her family and friends really like Jamie, and they continue to support one another since leaving the villa – especially when Jamie opened up about his battle with depression.

She continued: He is great at bringing that up and asking those questions [about mental health]. He is going to make a huge difference. He has my absolute full support.. Jamie Jewitt and Camilla Thurlow found love in Love Island [ITV].

Love Island: Camilla said her and Jamie dont feel pressure from other couples[ITV]. The bomb disposal expert also explained what makes their relationship so strong is having their own interests.

On some occasions during Love Island, Camilla got emotional as she revealed her insecurities, saying she didn't feel good enough for the Calvin Klein model. But Jamie is apparently very good at perking up his other half.

Camilla Thurlow said Jamie is good at cheering her up [Camilla Thurlow/Instagram]. She said: Any woman might feel great for 12 hours in the day, but then in the evening you don't feel great about yourself. Its a very normal thing.

To give Jamie his due – he is very good at making me feel good..

Despite taking an alternative route [Camilla is now a video journalist, working with HuffPost UK] to her co-stars since leaving the villa, she hasn't ruled out appearing on reality TV again.

But the brunette beauty said she would want to know how it's edited if she were to return.

It comes weeks after Camilla and Jamie were faced with split rumours, when fans became concerned the duo hadn't been sharing frequent photos of one another on social media.

For more infomation >> Camilla Thurlow doesn't feel pressure from Love Island stars over relationship with Jamie Jewitt - Duration: 2:26.

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Man Utd star Ander Herrera insists he has a fantastic relationship with Jose Mourinho - Duration: 2:58.

Man Utd star Ander Herrera insists he has a fantastic relationship with Jose Mourinho

The United manager and the Spanish midfielder had a somewhat public spat following their sides shock defeat to Huddersfield at the weekend.

But the Red Devils returned to winning ways with a 2-0 Carabao Cup victory at Swansea on Tuesday night and Herrera was determined to silence talk of a rift between him and Mourinho.

We have a fantastic relationship, but what I said was that in the first 30 minutes they had a better attitude than us, Herrera said.

But after that we had a good attitude and we were even close to drawing the game, which is not so easy after playing bad the first 30 minutes. But now we want to forget what happened on Saturday.

"We have a fantastic relationship, but what I said was that in the first 30 minutes they had a better attitude than us." Ander Herrera We want to move forward for a massive game against Tottenham and try to win.

After the defeat at Huddersfield we needed good feelings back, because when you lose a game you want to play as quick as possible and play well. Second-placed United go into Saturdays game at Old Trafford above Spurs on goal difference.

It is the start of a huge eight days for United who welcome Benfica in the Champions League on Tuesday before hosting Chelsea the following Sunday. It is a big week, but Tottenham is our target now, Herrera said.

It is a tough game and Tottenham is a direct rival for the title. They are there every season.

In the last two or three years they have improved a lot and they are contenders for everything; for the Champions League, for both cups and for the league.

We saw the game they played with Real Madrid and they were not worse than them. So that means they are ready for anything. United kick off against Spurs at 12.30pm.

For more infomation >> Man Utd star Ander Herrera insists he has a fantastic relationship with Jose Mourinho - Duration: 2:58.

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The inter-relationship of mental health states: Language matters - Duration: 9:10.

The diagram that you have in front of you

helps us understand mental health and mental illness

better.

In our field, we are often confusing each other

by the language that we use.

When we use a phrase such as mental health issue,

nobody really knows what we're talking about.

A mental health issue could be a two-year-old having a temper

tantrum, or it could be a 17-year-old

in the middle of a psychotic break,

or it can be a 16-year-old girl with severe panic attacks so

bad that she can't go to school, or it

can be a 20-year-old college student who is housebound

because of social anxiety.

Those things are all very, very different,

and it is really important that we understand

what we're talking about.

Because if we don't understand what we're talking about,

if we don't use the right language,

how can we intervene effectively?

On this triangle at the bottom, you

will see a category that says, no distress, problem,

or disorder.

That is many of us much of the time.

We're having fun with our friends and with our families.

We're off at school doing our work.

We're enjoying ourselves in a recreational activity,

or even asleep.

So much of the time over a 24 hour period,

we can be in that zone of having no distress, no problem,

or no disorder.

On the other hand, all of us experience,

over the course of pretty well every single day,

mental distress.

And mental distress is the brain's signal to us

that we have a problem in our environment

that we have to deal with.

And this signal tells us we need to adapt,

we need to solve the problem.

The signal, which we call the stress response,

is the basis of resilience.

It's the basis of adaptation.

And once we successfully solved the problem,

the stress response goes away.

We no longer feel distressed, and we have

another arrow in our quiver.

We have not only become more resilient,

but we have developed new skills.

And we need to ensure that we don't protect

young people for these slings and arrows

of outrageous fortune.

Because it is through engaging with the normal stressors

of life that we develop the capacity to become

successful adults.

The next part on this triangle is

labeled mental health problems.

And mental health problems also arise

from environmental stressors, but these are stressors

that are quite intense.

They're not like taking an exam, or going for a job interview,

or not making the school basketball team,

or being rejected on your request for a romantic evening

with someone that you fancy.

These are serious things like your parent died,

or you've lost your job, or you're moving to a new country.

And they also elicit a stress response.

And this stress response is also normal.

When someone dies, it's normal to grieve.

When you lose your job, it's normal to feel demoralized.

And when we have these feelings, we

reach out to other people for support,

and guidance, and assistance.

But we don't need psychiatrists or clinical psychologists

if we lose our job.

We need a job.

And here we have to be very careful not to medicalize

normal human experience.

Mental health problems can be difficult.

They can be challenging.

They can hurt emotionally.

But as a species, we've learned how

to get through these things, and we count on each other

to help us.

We also have socially sanctioned healers that assist.

If we're religious, we go to our religious leaders.

If we're more secular, we often go to people like counselors.

That can be quite helpful.

And we always rely on family and friends.

At the top of the triangle are mental disorders.

These are the illnesses that are found in ICD or DSM

categorizations.

They are internationally agreed upon as diagnoses.

And they're very different than a mental health problem.

And they're very different than the mental distress signal.

They require therapeutic evidence-based interventions

provided by people who have been specially

trained in how to do that.

And we don't progress from distress to disorder.

This is not a spectrum.

This is not a continuum.

We can feel unhappy and distressed,

and we can feel very unhappy if we have a disorder.

Those emotions occur across each of these components.

And this is really important.

This and is we can be in every single one of these states

at the same time.

For example, an individual can have attention deficit

hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, which is a mental disorder.

They can be dealing with the loss of a loved one,

say their mother, so they're going through grief.

They can be experiencing distress.

They didn't make the school basketball team.

And they can be having no distress, no problem,

or no disorder at the moment, as they're

hanging out with their friends, enjoying watching a movie.

And these things can be happening

all in the same period of time.

All these are components of mental health.

We can have mental health and mental illness

at the same time.

These are not separate categories.

And it's very important that we tailor our interventions

to the state in which the person is in.

Intervening for normal expected mental distress

can cause problems for young people.

It can make it difficult for them to learn how to adapt.

It can lead to things like learned helplessness.

I can't do with.

A mental health problem that requires additional supports,

but it doesn't require medications,

and it doesn't require CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy,

or specialized clinical psychological treatments.

However, if somebody has a mental disorder,

then we have to provide best evidence-based treatments

for them.

And so let's use the language correctly.

If we mean mental distress, let's

use words such as disappointed, disgusted,

angry, pessimistic, distressed, to clarify what state we're in.

If we're dealing with a mental health problem,

let's use words like sorrowful, demoralized, grieving,

despairing.

Those are good words to describe a mental health problem.

And if we're describing the mental disorder,

well, let's use the word depression.

If we use the word depression for every single one

of those states, I have no idea what you're talking about,

and you have no idea about what I'm talking about.

It's really essential.

Our language has many different ways

of expressing the nuances of all these important emotional

states.

Let's not confuse them.

Confusion can lead to inappropriate treatment.

Confusion can lead to protecting people

from the challenges of life that they need to embrace themselves

in order to become successful, independent, resilient

human beings.

So let's think about our language.

When we're using the word depression,

let's use it to mean depression and not

every single negative emotional state that we experience.

For more infomation >> The inter-relationship of mental health states: Language matters - Duration: 9:10.

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Shin Min Ah and Kim Woo Bin's relationship as he continues with his cancer treatment. - AMAZING NEWS - Duration: 2:30.

Recent reports revealed more details on Shin Min Ah and Kim Woo Bins relationship as he continues with his cancer treatment.

Min Ah and Woo Bin have been dating for over two years, and are often called a visual couple, thanks to their good looks.

Kim Woo Bin was diagnosed with head and neck cancer earlier this year and is currently focusing on chemotherapy.

Recent photos of both of them visiting the hospital together circulated the internet, proving that Min Ah has been a great emotional support for Woo Bin.

By staying strong next to her boyfriends side, Min Ah provides both the emotional and physical support that Woo Bin needs during his toughest time.

"I saw the two of them visiting a general hospital together located in Seoul".

— Eye Witness.

Min Ah also released an official statement through her agency.

"I am helping Woo Bin with his treatments as best as I can.

— Shin Min Ah.

Fans only wish him a speedy recovery and thank Shin Min Ah for being an incredible support by his side.