News on Youtube Oct 3 2018

So in one of my last episodes

I said that your spouse is not your be all or your end or and they are not

everything and even though that's true it's important to remember that our

spouses still do have a lot of influence over how we feel you know

they can hurt us so they can heal us and so in today's episode what we'll do is look at the

and these are the intangible reasons they're not necessarily things that you can put your

finger on and so they are much harder to identify but they are real you know they

really leave us feeling less than and bad about ourselves and we don't even

know why. So these reasons are by Esther Perel, the relationship expert and what we will do

is just take him one at a time they're not necessarily in order.

and you know basically they don't matter that much to you and that's very dangerous

especially in today's society because we are more lonely and so you know in a

world of 7 1/2 million people we want to know that we are at least special to

someone and it's usually our spouses that we expect to provide us you know

with the feeling of specialness and so if you have a partner that doesn't make

you feel special it really starts to eat away at your self-esteem.

You know we take better care of

our businesses, our houses, our jobs or our cars than we do our partners, usually

you know we give our best selves to everyone else and you give our leftovers

to our partners so the relationship expert Esther Perel says that you know

your relationship is not like a cactus it's not something that's just gonna

survive or grow on its own with very little care.

You know so it could be something like a

dismissive look where you just like 'urgh whatever' oh you know or something like

that and therapists believes that contempt of all for them is the most

dangerous because it diminishes their self-worth.

And this type of violence is often excused as being

acceptable because we don't really want to make a big deal out of small things

and we're not really sure if it's okay to be treated in that way and we're sort of

ambivalent about it you know for a lot of people domestic violence is a clear

cut line that it's wrong but when it comes to an emotional violence it can be

dismissed as oh you're just being too sensitive and actually if somebody keeps

hurting your feelings and telling you that you're too sensitive that could be

a sign that something's not right. You know words are living things they can be

or they can heal and so we have a responsibility over our tongues and the

words that come out of our mouths and so if somebody keeps saying that 'oh you're

just too sensitive' what they're doing is placing the

responsibility on you instead of holding themselves accountable to be

more careful or to be more cautious so that's it so those were the top four

common reasons why relationships break down you know I know there's a lot of

memes out there and quotes that say nobody has influence over how we

feel and nobody can make us feel bad without our consent but when it comes to

our relationships our partners really to have a lot of power over how we feel

about ourselves and so you know if we want to live more wholehearted lives and

live more fulfilled healthier lives that we definitely need at least one safe

place in this world and that should be at home with our loved ones with the

people that were closest to.

For more infomation >> Why relationships FAIL - (Relationship Advice) - Duration: 4:02.

-------------------------------------------

Bristol Palin's Ex Dakota Meyer Speaks Out: 'This Relationship Was Done Way Before Teen Mom OG' - Duration: 3:12.

 Dakota Meyer is opening up about his split from Teen Mom OG's Bristol Palin.  The military veteran tells PEOPLE that joining the MTV series had nothing to do with the couple's divorce, which they finalized this summer

 "This relationship was done way before Teen Mom OG," Meyer says, before joking he knew it was over "the day after we got married

"  "Our relationship has had struggles from day one, I think we tried our best," he says

"I can definitely say that I tried in this relationship."  Meyer, 30, and Palin, 27,  called off their first planned wedding – which was supposed to be a big, splashy affair in Kentucky — in May 2015

 They later reunited and quietly tied the knot in June 2016. Less than two years later, though, they split for good

 Meyer made his MTV debut on Monday night's episode, in which the then-couple got into a heated argument about his anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder

(The former U.S. Marine was the only surviving member of his platoon during the war in Afghanistan

)  "I'll take the responsibility for that," Meyer says of the fight. "I think Bristol did the best that she could do

I think that's what we all see in that episode. All I wanted was empathy."  "This is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances," he says of PTSD

"[People who have it] deserve the utmost respect, understanding, and empathy about what they go through

"  The veteran shares two daughters with Palin: Sailor Grace, 2, and Atlee Bay, 1

Palin also has 9-year-old son Tripp Easton from a previous relationship.  Meyer previously said the two haven't spoken following their split, and he tells PEOPLE they've managed to co-parent without much contact

 "I understand how important it is for both parents to be in a child's life," he says

"To co-parent with her is important to me. We communicate when necessary. I would say I'm happy with our relationship

I think that it's right where it needs to be."  Meyer is also focusing on his company Flipside Canvas, which showcases patriotic art that is "all American-made," as he proudly says

 "My entire goal in life is to try and change the world," he adds. "To make it worthy of the sacrifice of my teammates made

"  Teen Mom OG airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET on MTV.

For more infomation >> Bristol Palin's Ex Dakota Meyer Speaks Out: 'This Relationship Was Done Way Before Teen Mom OG' - Duration: 3:12.

-------------------------------------------

Shakti Kapoor's Shocking Statement On Anup-Jasleen's Relationship | Bigg Boss 12 - Duration: 1:21.

Shakti Kapoor's Shocking Statement On Anup-Jasleen's Relationship | Bigg Boss 12

For more infomation >> Shakti Kapoor's Shocking Statement On Anup-Jasleen's Relationship | Bigg Boss 12 - Duration: 1:21.

-------------------------------------------

WHY You Date WHO You Date (Relationship Worksheet) - Duration: 17:18.

free will is such an interesting thing when it comes to dating it might

actually be that we're wired and programmed to date specific types of

people and in this video you're gonna do a little bit of a test that might

determine why you pick the people that you pick what is up everybody this is

Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the

solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about helping you

improve your mental and emotional well-being and a lot of that has to do

with relationships I am somebody who has been in a billion terrible relationships

so if you're into that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that

notification bell so we just hit 15,000 subscribers mind-blowing like I don't

know maybe I'll make another video just about like doing work and hustling and

doing things that you love passionate about but just so you know like at the

end of the year I wasn't even a thousand subscribers and like I just always

question do really do people really care about mental health but people do all of

you do and I love that I love that people want to improve themselves

mentally emotionally spiritually whatever your jam is so thank you to all

the new subscribers you are all amazing I love just spreading a message of hope

I used to be in a very dark place now have an amazing place anyways I'll quit

all that sappy stuff now so a lot of you a lot of you came over cuz you saw one

of my videos about Trisha Paytas and Jason Nash and talking about borderline

personality disorder and I mentioned in that video a worksheet that helps

determine that it doesn't help determine but it kind of in lines you and it shows

you why you date who you date and kind of why you behave the way that you do in

relationships so one of those sayings that I mentioned in a video the other

day is that that old definition of insanity right and

my loyal subscribers has been here since the beginning psychedelic feline she

pointed out there's not an insanity is doing the same thing over expecting

different results right and some of you might realize that but some of you also

might not see what you're doing you might wonder like I'll use myself as

an example I always find that's the best way to do it I kept ending relationships

in heartache right over and over and over again and I'm like why why and you

know all the self-pity would come and oh my god I'm just never gonna find a good

woman all these other things but like there was a reason for it I kept picking

the same type of woman you know it was the same candy just a different wrapper

if you get what I mean so this worksheet is actually on the

phone so those of you who don't know

need to do some videos with her but she lives in California but she is a

psychologist she got her doctorate in psychology while being a full-blown

alcoholic but she's coming up on 13 years sober she's amazing I love that

woman and our dreams someday is to open up a treatment center together like we

mesh really well when it comes to all this mental health and addiction

recovery stuff anyways but mom does this relationship workshop and my mom was

actually the first person to kind of point out you know by my behavior and

the why I dated certain types of women she was the first one to point that out

relationship workshops and that's what I saw this worksheet that she had people

go through and it's it's crazy like I was working in a treatment center for

the last three years I'm about to start at a new one we're getting that rolling

that's exciting yeah like I would give it to clients like so many people so

relationships have so much to do with our mental health and for addicts and

alcoholics relationships can be their downfall you can lead to relapses but a

lot of people to like you know people came from the trip

this video a lot of people have borderline personality disorder and

things like that and or emotions just go all rocky and zany and stuff and it can

lead to depression and anxiety and fear of abandonment and fear of rejection

just so many things so this is very important now I will say this okay this

is like an experiment because usually the way this works okay this is two

different worksheets they're short they're simple takes you maybe 10

minutes to do okay but the way this works is in a group setting all right

you give people one worksheet they fill it out and then without seeing the

second worksheet then you give them the second one and then you use the first

worksheet to fill out the second one and then you kind of have a discussion about

it so I'm doing this via YouTube so this is a little bit different so what I've

done down in the description below is a link to both of these sheets so I'm

about to go over with you so what I would recommend is I'm gonna talk about

the first worksheet pause the video print it out whatever it is I uploaded

that to Google Drive print it out or if you can't print it I don't have a

printer just open up the document and then a piece of paper it's really easy

you'll see in a second pause the video and fill that out and then start the

video back up as we go over the second worksheet if not you're cheating and you

don't gain anything from this so you're wasting your time but yeah like I really

don't care if you cheat on this it's not like the SATs or something but this will

help enlighten you and I'll tell you an interesting story done so this first one

this first one is basically so it's split up in columns I actually probably

showing it on the screen right now alright so you'll see it's divided up

and mother-father other so it says income in the column below right

positive traits or characteristics of your primary caretaker use words such as

loving caring always there nurturing sense of humor intelligent hard-working

playful etc so your primary caregiver so if you had both mother and father in

your life and you'll fill it out for both of them others so if you were

raised by your grandparents or adoptive parents or

uncle ants whoever raised you okay oh by the way like you can like pause it after

each section if you want if you need me to kind of explain it a little bit so

here's some examples I was 20 there what it's like when I first got this

worksheet don't want too many good characteristics I could look at right so

I might have said it was like very minimal you know when when I saw it you

know I would have put you know things same things like always there

hard-working playful I would put those in there so my dad pretty much raised me

when I was growing up next section in the column below right negative traits

or characteristics of your primary caretakers use words such as never their

critical anxious angry controlling cold distant preoccupied your pressed hard to

please etc so for like my mom it would have been a lot of those things it would

have been you know never there mood swings angry depressed suicidal just

outrageous emotions my dad who raised me it would have been some things like you

know even though I put hard-working as a positive one

hard-working would have been a negative one - my dad worked a ton my dad you

know we didn't really show emotions that much and things like that so those are

the things that I would put under the negative traits from my mom and my dad

so the next one and the box below white things that you needed the most and

didn't get from your caretaker takers use words such as more time acceptance

of who I was encouragement affection understanding respect so things that I

would put and you can kind of lump these together you don't need to write you

know specifically for mom or dad you can if you want to my mom like the things I

needed like what did I need for my mom I needed her to be sober I needed more

more time of hers more love more affection I need her to just be normal

I remember just that my mom was normal for my dad I

would probably say like I wish we had more money normal family and all sorts

of stuff so d-list three childhood frustrations what you felt and what you

did in response alright so for example so there's a three columns right so

what's the frustration what you felt and what you did right so when I would go

visit my mom in California and she'd be drunk okay so I would just put like mom

was drunk what I felt I felt like she didn't care okay and what did I do

I got angry I got angry and sometimes I would yell at her or scream at her or

frustration one of my biggest frustrations coming from my mom or dad I

hated this as a kid when they said because I'm the adult right you know

this this power play right and what what I felt I was an angry Kid so I felt

anger what did I do I shut down it's just like okay I'm

expecting that you're following along here and you've been pausing and writing

and everything like that so now you can go down below get document number two

and either print it out or write this section down in your notebook or scrap

piece of paper okay so let's get rolling all right so this says my unconscious

relationship agenda so imagine this is your unconscious speaking when you were

in the mate selection process do this with them a lot of them alight it's like

a freaking magic trick like it is just crazy like nobody watches like those

mentalists or illusion people and like they just you know know that's kind of

like what this is for most people I'll touch on that after we get through this

okay so imagine this is your your unconscious speaking when you're trying

to pick somebody okay when you're in the single dating pool this is why you pick

who you pick all right so one eye trying to find and or get a spouse or

life partner will be insert positive traits from section a so like that not

loving or caring or hard-working alright so these are some of the positive

qualities that you're looking for in that person number two but I won't

really fall in love unless he or she also has at least some of these traits

all right in so from column B so these are the negative things so you might

start to see that you're picking people whether it's a man or woman the people

you are picking have some negative traits of your parents now section two

when I find someone with a blend of both positive and negative traits I will get

really interested in him or her and may fall in love and form an intimate commit

commitment relationship so this next part three in my relationship I will

struggle to get my partner to have only the positive traits so that I can

finally get an adult version of blank alright so those knees that you you

needed right what did you need from your mom or what did you need from your dad

so this is this is interesting I'll let you thought the last one the

toy and then I'll come back to this so number four in my relationship I will

sometimes tend to stop myself from getting these needs met by doing at an

adult version of these behaviors alright so basically like what you're what

you're doing is the action that you were taking in that last column like what's

the adult version of that so for me like the anger or you know the arguing or

acting out like what would I do so let me just go back to my drinking

days and stuff like that like me acting out as an adult is me getting really

drunk okay that's me acting out the other one me shutting down like giving

my girlfriend the silent treatment alright so that's what that means okay

so so yeah basically like I don't know like I really want you guys to leave

comments down below I really really want you to because basically what we're

seeing is is that we're finding we're finding potential mates

this combination of our caretakers and the reason that is and I can do entire

videos on this the reason is is because that's where we feel comfortable so for

me I was only comfortable dating chaotic women I was only comfortable I would not

date women who were normal or calm or had their stuff together I didn't feel

comfortable and what I was trying to do was I was trying to get them to meet the

needs that my mom didn't give me as a child do you see what I mean but like

the other part is what we start seeing and especially number four is that we're

we're doing a lot of childish behaviour as a dolt

so like when we look at this it's like no wonder why our relationships go south

right we're not looking for the perfect mate we're looking for someone who has

the same flaws as our caretaker and somebody as when we were a child this is

why children of alcoholics and addicts for example are like extremely extremely

likely to marry an alcoholic or an addict this is why children who were

abused whether it's verbally or physically or sexually they might date

somebody who fits that and this is on your unconscious and it's it's

absolutely insane sometimes but I'll never forget one time I did this with

the group at my treatment center and afterwards this young woman came up to

me like right after and she's like Chris Chris and she's like shaking and she's

like can I come outside and smoke with you I'm like okay sure and we go outside

and she breaks down in tears she breaks down in tears and she's like oh my god

oh my god no I see where I keep dating this man oh she's like freaking out and

I'm like listen calm down like the first step towards solving any problem is

recognizing that there is a problem right so if you can relate like if this

like shed some light on some stuff for you like that's awesome now you know

what to look for now you can say oh I'm attracted to this for a reason and

that's unhealthy you can change that you can break that cycle I am a living

example of that my girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years and

she is not really like my mom like at all

and this is like the first woman who's like pretty much nothing like my mom I

was actually talking with her in the car about this worksheet and stuff and it's

interesting because people change over time like my girlfriend was saying you

know she she used to have some of those traits that I mentioned but she's

outgrown them right and I'm a much different person too so I will just end

the video with this what I've noticed what I've noticed with this I've seen

some people who like this like did nothing for them it didn't shed any

light light like no I don't look for people like that

and this is just personal theory I found people who who keep getting into toxic

relationships so mainly young single people I've seen that a lot but like I

don't know like married couples I've seen like I've seen I've seen quite a

few but like I don't know it's it's hard to explain but for some people this is

like not accurate but this is very accurate for some of us who are kind of

mentally or emotionally unstable but doing this is gonna help you find a

better relationship or like I mentioned in my Twitter Paytas video like this is

why some of us just need to stay single for a long time and be like okay I am

attracted to the wrong type of person that's why this video is going in my

playlist called the broken picker some of us just have a broken picker and it

can get fixed alright so anyways this is a long video I hope you enjoyed it leave

comments down below let me know like what your revelations were if you could

relate to this like if this matched up and everything let me know down in the

conversation in the comments let's have a discussion alright anyways that's all

I got for you if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and if you're

new I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional

well-being make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge

thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all

amazing and if you would like to support the channel for as little as a dollar a

month figure tap on that patriotic on right there alright thanks so much for

watching I'll see you next time

For more infomation >> WHY You Date WHO You Date (Relationship Worksheet) - Duration: 17:18.

-------------------------------------------

Today's Takeaway: Transparency Is Key To Relationship Success - Duration: 4:09.

For more infomation >> Today's Takeaway: Transparency Is Key To Relationship Success - Duration: 4:09.

-------------------------------------------

4 Attitudes that help you maintain the 'magic' in your relationship - Duration: 1:26.

For more infomation >> 4 Attitudes that help you maintain the 'magic' in your relationship - Duration: 1:26.

-------------------------------------------

Money Relationship - Duration: 3:58.

For more infomation >> Money Relationship - Duration: 3:58.

-------------------------------------------

Découvrez la gestion conseil présentée par Marie-Anne Felten, Senior Relationship Manager à la BIL - Duration: 1:08.

For more infomation >> Découvrez la gestion conseil présentée par Marie-Anne Felten, Senior Relationship Manager à la BIL - Duration: 1:08.

-------------------------------------------

How they really feel about "Defining The Relationship" - Duration: 2:05.

For more infomation >> How they really feel about "Defining The Relationship" - Duration: 2:05.

-------------------------------------------

Money relationship - Duration: 3:58.

For more infomation >> Money relationship - Duration: 3:58.

-------------------------------------------

What Kind of ROI are You Getting on Your Relationships? - Duration: 5:36.

- What kind of return on investment are you getting

on the relationships you invest your time

and your life force in?

At first this might sound kind of selfish.

"But, Wade, this is all about what can I get out of things,

"and you know what, Wade, I'm a giver.

"I like to give in life."

Okay, I understand that.

But in all of our relationships,

there needs to be a give and take,

a giving and receiving if we want things to be good

and over the long run become better.

There are certain relationships

we kind of have to participate in.

So, as you're a kid,

you might have to have a teacher you don't like.

If you're an adult,

you might have a boss that you don't like

and you have to make the relationship work

as best as possible.

And that's more than understandable.

But when you're on your free time,

when you have time to live life on your terms,

are you investing that time with people

and with groups of people that you most enjoy?

Are you spending time with the people

that do activities that you like?

Maybe you have some friends that are into hiking or biking.

Maybe another group is into personal growth

or exercise or something like that.

Overall, if you want to work a 4-Day Work Week

and have a lifestyle that's similar to that,

we first have to figure out

how to make the most of the free time you already have.

So there's a certain amount of time you have to work.

And separate from that,

there's a certain amount of choice time

where you can do what you like with that time.

If you can't do what you want

or if you're not investing that time in the way you like,

chances are you're not going to focus on

and really get centered on making more time available

'cause you're already not doing really a good job

with the time you already have.

No different than if you have a certain amount of money

that you make and you're constantly wasting it,

you're probably not going to be as motivated to make more money

because you know you're going to waste that anyway

and you're not going to get to your goals.

So think about very specifically the types of relationships.

What do they hold in common?

Is it a certain group of people?

Does it center around a certain activity that you enjoy?

Do these people have a certain mindset?

Are they happy people?

Are they focused on growth?

What are they about?

How do they speak to other people?

Are they kind?

And notice those patterns and see what types of people

that are some of the favorite people

that you like to hang out with or be with or learn from

and write down the names of a few of those people

and start thinking about where you can get

to meet more people like that.

Now, if this is your wife or your husband,

you don't need to be meeting

another wife or another husband.

But this is simply, of course, for friends

and people outside of romantic relationships,

clarifying point there

for those of y'all who hold me to that,

where you're making sure that you're seeing

who are the people that you most enjoy being around?

Similarly, write down the characteristics

of the relationships that are not as fun for you.

Now, I want to be clear here.

I'm not looking to put down people.

Everybody's at a certain point on their path,

their journey, their evolution, however you want to word that.

There are certainly people that are more evolved

or nicer or happier than I am,

and there's certainly people who are less evolved,

less happier, whatever word you want to use.

I'm not God.

You're probably not God either.

But overall, people that when you look at where they're at

or, even better, what they're aiming for,

you say, "You know what?

"Where they're aiming for is not where I'm aiming for."

It's not even a matter of higher and lower.

It's they're going over here.

I'm looking to go over there.

And notice the trends and the patterns of those people.

Are they happy?

Do they value the things you value?

Do they treat people in a way

that you believe in or find kind?

And make a list of those characteristics.

It's not as important to make a list

of the names of the people.

We're not looking to single people out or focus on people

or become judgmental or holier than thou.

But we do want to be able to look at

where do we want to put our most precious asset,

our time, our life force?

Where do we want to invest that?

As we do that more, we're going to find a better return

on our investments in the relationships we have.

I hope you find this helpful.

If you want to go deeper into this conversation,

go to 4dayworkweek.com

and check out the 4-Day Apprentice program.

This is a program where we focus

on helping you make the most out of your relationships,

your time investments, your money investments,

and the material possessions you own.

It's the first step in getting clear

about how you want your life to be

by shaping your life outside of work first

as similarly as possible in an alignment

with somebody that works a 4-Day Work Week.

In other words, making the most out of the money

and the time and the relationships you already have.

And then later you can move deeper into what it means

to then create your own 4-Day Work Week.

This 4-Day Apprentice program is good for you

whether you are an entrepreneur already

or whether you're aspiring to be one in the future.

So I hope you find this helpful.

As always, look forward to helping you make more money

in less time doing what you do best.

Thank you.