What's up, everybody?
Welcome to the video.
My name is Tanvir Ahmed.
And hey, consider subscribing, if you haven't already, to upgrade yourself and your relationships
to the next level.
Society makes a lot about "sacrifices" in a relationship.
You are supposed to keep the relationship happy by consistently sacrificing yourself
for your partner and their wants and needs.
There is some truth to that.
Every relationship requires each person to consciously choose to give something up at times.
But the problem arises when all of the relationship's happiness is dependent on the other person
and both people are constantly in a state of sacrifice.
Just go back and listen to that again.
That sounds horrible.
A relationship based on sacrifices cannot be sustained, and will eventually be damaging
to both individuals involved.
You need to understand that it is up to you to make yourself happy, it is NOT the job
of your partner.
I am not saying that you shouldn't do nice things for each other, or that your partner
can't make you happy sometimes.
I am just saying don't lay expectations on your partner to "make you happy."
It is not their responsibility.
A healthy and happy relationship requires two healthy and happy individuals.
The keyword here is "individuals."
That means two people with their own identities, their own interests and perspectives, and
things they do by themselves, on their own time.
Figure out what makes you happy as an individual, be happy yourself, and then bring that to
the relationship.
This is why attempting to control your partner or submitting control over yourself to your
partner to make them "happy" ultimately backfires.
It allows the individual identities of each person to be destroyed, the very identities
that attracted each person and brought them together in the first place.
So, don't you ever give up who you are for the person you're with.
It will only backfire and make you both miserable.
Have the courage to be who you are, and most importantly, let your partner be who they are.
But how does one do that?
Well, it's a bit counterintuitive.
But that's exactly what I'll be discussing in next week's video.
Actually, I changed my mind.
We're going all in in this video.
So, listen up you savages.
So, how do you do it?
Well, you need to give each other space.
space.
Okay, maybe that's a little too much space.
You don't want to give them that much space because then you'd just be all alone on
a different planet.
But be sure you have a life of your own, otherwise it is harder to have a life together.
What do I mean?
Have your own interests, your own friends, your own support network, and your own hobbies.
Overlap when you can, but not being identical should give you both something to talk about
and expose one another to.
Some of us are afraid to give their partner freedom and independence.
This comes from a lack of trust and insecurity that if we give our partner too much space,
then they will discover that they don't want to be with us anymore.
Generally, the more uncomfortable we are with our own worthiness in the relationship
and to be loved, the more we will try to control the relationship and our partner's behaviors.
BUT, more importantly, this inability to let our partners be who they are,
is a subtle form of disrespect.
After all, if you can't trust your husband to have a simple golfing trip with his buddies,
or you're afraid to let your wife go out for drinks after work,
what does that say about your respect for their ability to handle themselves well?
What does it say for your respect for yourself?
I mean, after all, if you believe that a couple after-work drinks is enough to steer your
girlfriend away from you, you clearly don't think too highly of yourself.
Thank you for watching.
This is the part where you like this video and subscribe to my channel.
And remember, you are an amazing person and I love you.

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