- This man's mother told her soon to be
daughter-in-law that she should dye her
naturally red hair for the wedding
so that they don't have the same color hair.
- I'm all set.
- How much leeway should you give your in-law?
- Not that much, sorry.
- You don't wanna be their puppet for sure.
- I have a whole different take on this.
I agree that the mother-in-law should not be doing that
but here's the issue I have.
Why is she then posting this on social media?
Because she then immediately puts
her husband to be in a no win situation.
- Bad.
- Well there is a win.
- No listen, because he is then
he is forced to choose to either tell his mom
you can't do that or tell his wife to be-
- Wait a minute, hold on. - But let's preach about that.
- She should have a conversation with him first.
- I think it's actually an easy conversation.
- This is easy. Break it down. - Go ahead.
- The bible says this is - I give it to him.
why a man will leave his Leave and cleave.
father and mother and cleave to his wife. - That's right.
- So the decision is, my wife (audience cheering)
to be, my wife to-be. It's her decision if she gon' color
her hair or not. And mom, I love you.
But this is not your marriage,
and we gotta create boundaries. - And that's his
conversation to have with the - Because
mother. - That's right. That's right.
- I mean it puts him on the carpet, but that's exactly
right. I'm glad you backed it up with the bible.
But from, I'm not gonna argue. (all laugh)
- You had to tell him. - You have a point.
- I'm at a place in my life where my kids are marriage age.
So I have to make the decision what kind of in-law am I
gonna be. I raise my children as best I could,
to know their own truth and find their stuff.
My kids have respect for it. If they're in love,
they obviously are in love with somebody that's worth while.
It's not my choice who they date, if he does her wrong,
I'mma kill em. (all laughs)
- Ok cool. - I need to hear that. - That is great.
- Okay I wanna hear what the ladies say on this because
the wedding day is theirs.
- Right. Right. - Yes.
- So ladies where are you at on this?
- So here's the thing, when I first heard this story
I thought that was out of line for the mom to say that.
That told me several things about the relationship.
That obviously the husband - Yes.
doesn't have enough boundaries set because the
mother should never even said it in the first place.
- Ask how can, since you know your mom better than anyone,
how should I approach her. Because it's my day.
- You have that conversation - It's a slippery slope.
with her, and you don't say it the right way?
First of all, she's not gonna receive it from you anyway.
She's jealous. She's jealous - That's right.
cause she don't like your hair and she think you cute.
And I'm the momma and I'm the. That's all she's doing.
That's all she's doing. - Her son is marrying someone
on straight talk so she gon' get it straight. Hello.
(audience laughs) - But you need your man to be able to
step up to his mother in a respectful way
and say this is my wife and - Exactly. Respectfully.
that made her feel uncomfortable and we can't do this.
This doesn't work for us. - Right, right, right.
- Long before it gets posted. - Yes.
- Look, marriage the thing that's made this one successful
for me. This is number 3. (all laughs) - Third times a charm
- Yeah, I'm good at this now. I've done done a lotta wrong
stuff. What has made this marriage successful from day one,
is we made a commitment to form a two-handed circle.
No one is in that circle but me and Margie. - All right.
- The kids ain't in it. The two handed circle in a
marriage is the best approach. When the in-laws are in it,
it's gon get messed up. This woman had no right to go
to this young lady and tell her dye her hair on
her wedding day. Are you crazy? - Yes. - Yeah.
- Now but Steve, I'm not gonna - You know,
defend her. Right? I'm not gonna defend her.
But I think underneath it, it is hard when you're
a parent trying to let go of your child.
- Yeah. - Sure. - And that's what's happening.
- That's all that. - Hey folks this has been a great one.
This was a really good time. Thank you all for being here.
Keep it down everybody we'll be right back.
(upbeat music)
For more infomation >> What Actually Constitutes A National Emergency? | Velshi & Ruhle | MSNBC - Duration: 8:11. 
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