Video.
Hi, guys! JustKrisKris here and today I am doing a video on how I prepared to
meet him for the first time and that's including mentally, physically, and
financially. First though, I'm going to start this video off with just making a
little note. Some people have come to me and asked about why I don't let 지웅 talk
um, or if I could allow him to talk more
He doesn't want to talk. He is a very quiet person and I'm the really loud one
I think that it's important to respect your partner's boundaries. He's very... he's
very quiet and it's disturbing but he kind of reminds me of my dad...
and that scares me. I just wanted to get that out there. He's happy just being himself and
being quiet. So, yeah. Let's move on.
Okay so today, like I said, I'm talking about how
I prepared myself to meet with him for the first time mentally, physically and
financially, and if you hear that sound it's my cat being a psychopath. Okay so...
and that's 여보. He's awake. It's like 5:45 in the morning in Korea and he's
awake. Anyways, I was not prepared at all. I have
talked to some guys prior to talking to 지웅 and there were one or two that said
that they wanted to visit me and I did not feel right about it for
some reason there was something about it that I didn't want... you know that gut
feeling that you're just like like I'm not willing to put myself into this I
was already like on the fence about those kinds of things. I have pretty bad
anxiety in new social situations. I have anxiety, just in general, the time before
him was a really hard time for me. I didn't get out, I didn't date because I
was so self-conscious about myself, how I looked, my size
so really, internet dating was like the best thing for that. I was so afraid of
actually meeting people in person and so there are a lot of instances where I did
not meet someone because I was too anxious and I was too scared so it took
a lot for me to really build up the ability to say okay
okay let's do this come meet me. He for me was the sole
reason that I said yes. It was his personality, it was the way he treated me
it was the way he gave me butterflies in my stomach and I knew that despite
that I have this anxiety that keeps me from doing so many things in my life, I
knew that if I did not take this opportunity to meet him then I would
regret it for... ever. Now that I have met him I know I would have, so mentally, the
preparation was just getting myself ready for, honestly, disappointment. I've
gone on a blind date before and when I did that the person looked at me and his
face fell and we had spoken to each other on video call so 지웅 sort of knew
what I looked like, but it's a little bit different when you're video calling
someone and sending selfies that you can manipulate as opposed to person on person
contact and I have things about myself that I don't like and I was so scared
and people around me weren't really, uh, helping all that much, they were kind of
like "Oh, maybe you shouldn't. This doesn't sound like a good idea".
But I just had to do it, and that's
so important despite having fear, get what you want. Go
after it because you never know how things will turn out for you and that's
like so big for me in my life now. It's normal to be afraid it's, normal to be
scared. As long as you've got your ducks in a row and as long as you take this
chance, there is boundless opportunity for you
Okay
Number 2
Physically. I was very overweight when I met him. I had lost 50 pounds (23 kg)
prior to that. I started out at 300 pounds (136 kg).
I had been working on it slowly but surely to try and get myself healthier
it was all about wanting to be healthy for me and wanting to finally be able to
look in the mirror and say I like you. I love you.
you know? I was horrified. When there's someone who has been rejected countless
times because of the way you look who has been bullied because of the way you
look who is not considered beautiful because you're overweight or beautiful
because you have crooked teeth, which I did have previously. It messes with you so
much. I had warned him in advance. That was my, that was my thing, I wanted to
warn him I wanted to tell him, you should know what you're getting yourself into
I am NOT thin. I am overweight. I am not pretty, at least you know, I didn't think
And he would say
Oh, no. It's okay. No, you're beautiful. No, you're not fat. You're not fat.
And that's sweet. That's really sweet, but he didn't know
what I was really like. He was getting what I was like on the screen and not
what i'm like in person and it's easy when you're bigger (*it was for me*) to take selfies from
like this angle so you can get that kind of like... hide that double chin like that
was my thing, that's what I did. I wanted him to be aware. I didn't want him
walking into it, he might not like who he met and that lended to my fear of
meeting him like is he gonna be disappointed? Is he gonna think that I'm
ugly? Is he going to decide that I'm too fat for his culture? Is he gonna want to
touch me? So I had to push past that fear also and so I just continued what I was
doing. I was getting out and exercising, I was trying to eat healthier
he kind of lended as a motivation. The full motivation for me was always
to be someone that I liked but he kind of helped push me a little bit, but when
I met him I was 250 pounds (113 kg) so it was hard and we did have some trouble with
that but that's for another video. The point with being physically prepared is
not to be down on yourself because you never know who will like you or who will
love you you may think that you're ugly. You may think that you're the most
hideous person in the world but there's somebody out there who is going to love
you for exactly who you are and I think that's important so don't give up that
opportunity because you are terrified of being rejected. Don't give up
And lastly, number three. Financially. Financially, I had to save. I had to save
a lot the way that we planned it I was going to pay for my ticket, he was gonna
pay for his ticket and then he paid for the majority of the hotels and I paid
for the rental car because I was the only one old enough to do it. I paid for
the rental car, the gas and then we kind of split on food. We both spent a
considerable amount of money and it was definitely difficult to save up for that
It's been difficult to save up for every trip after that, but I knew that if I wanted
to see him I would have to sacrifice some things. It was worth it, honestly, but we
split payments and I've had some questions about how we decided to do
that, if we talked about one paying like the majority or if he wanted to pay
the majority of it and honestly my viewpoint on it is that it should be as
even as possible because he was traveling so far to see me. I knew that
if it worked out eventually I would travel so far to see him, so we
wanted to be even about it so at like dinner, I would say "I'll pay"
And he would say, "No, no, no, I'll pay"
Then I would say, "No, I'll pay"
And then he would say "Okay, okay, I'll get breakfast"
and so it was just an off-and-on kind of thing and that's part of the reason I
think we fit so well is because he and I mesh and he and I don't want to push the
other person more than it has to be, if that makes sense
so with that I would say save your money as much as you can, eat out less, spend less
just in general. You can save money siphoning off part of your paycheck
somehow into like some people put their extra money and like a jar or some
people just keep it separate. I did mine more mentally. I didn't actually like
pull any money out but I just kept an eye on it and I was super sad about how much
money I didn't have after that but it was totally worth it. Everything that we
did together, all the traveling that we did together... Everything was worth it
So, those are the biggest ways that I prepared myself. Mentally, it's just
fighting past the anxiety and I prepared myself to be disappointed just
in case and luckily, I wasn't. It's true that some things don't always turn out
as great as my situation did and that's sad
There are a lot of people out there who are judgmental and who are shallow and
who only want someone for how they look on the outside. But there are people out
there who want you for who you are, for how beautiful you are on the inside and
honestly, if there's somebody out there who doesn't want you because of what
your body looks like then they can scoot along, because you're beautiful, all of you. It
doesn't it, doesn't matter what you look like on the outside because, honestly
we're all gonna age, get old, and die, so why... your mental and your emotional
that's what matters and if you connect on the mental and emotional level then
that is what matters. Get past the anxiety, get past the fear that you're
gonna get rejected and just try. If you get rejected, then that's on them. That is
on them. They will have to miss out on your great personality, on how amazing
you are. That's not your fault. Get past the fear, get past your mental blocks, get
past your body image or at least try. Try to. It's not that easy to just say
*I can fully* get past it because it's impossible. I haven't even gotten over my mental
blocks completely but just try to step outside of that, outside of the fear and
financially just save as much as you can
I work part time, so if that says
anything... If I can do it, somebody else who's also working a crappy part-time
job can do it too. Anyways, that is it for this video. Hopefully that helped a
little bit I'm still kind of new to this so I'm
trying my best but thank you guys for watching. Thank you for sticking with me
and I love you guys
사랑해!
Hi, Sasha
*1st meeting photo*
For more infomation >> JE SUIS EN COUPLE ? - HUGOO- - Duration: 9:40. 
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