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We often will have a lovely experience
like we'll feel the warmth of that spring-like air and go: "Wow..."
But we don't pause and let it sink in.
Now why is that important?
When we have negative experiences, they go right into
our implicit memory, which shapes our feelings about life.
If you have a hundred experiences with a dog,
99 of them are good and once you get bit, which one do you remember - right?
It goes into the implicit memory. But not pleasant experiences so well.
So, in order to change a passing state of happiness into a trait,
you need to make it stickier; you have to bring it and let it sink in,
which means you have to pause for 15 to 30 seconds and really feel it in your body.
That's what gives it the stickiness so it then gets remembered
in the implicit memory and it's available.
And this process has been described by my friend Rick Hanson who's a psychologist and he does it beautifully
as "installation"; you have to install positive states.
There are possibilities throughout all of our lives
of moments where we can gladden the mind and develop the trait of joy
but we tend to miss them;
we tend to be so on our way somewhere else...
There was a story - this occurred in Washington DC in 2007 -
I think of often: it took place in a
Washington DC metro station, a cold January morning,
there's a man with a violin and he played six Bach pieces.
It took about 45 minutes and during that time about
2,000 people went through the station - most of them on their way to work - and
he played continuously. Only six people stopped to listen and
about 20 gave money but they just kept walking at the normal pace. And the only
a few children stopped but the parents then hurried them along...
So, as it turns out, no one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell
- who you may know is one of the most famous and great musicians in the world -
and he played one of the most intricate pieces ever written on a
violin that was worth 3.5 million dollars.
He had just played two days before in a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 a seat
and there he was in the subway and everybody's just rushing by and not listening.
And I think it's one of the best social science experiments
that I've ever heard because it tells us or it makes us ask ourselves:
how much do we miss?
How much do you miss each day
where there's a possibility to have contact with somebody that could warm up your heart
or to take in some beauty or some sense of wonder,
sense of the mystery of things...
Where you could pause and really get back in touch with yourself, your own breath,
and sense a little of that space of presence that is mysterious and is beautiful
you know? We miss a lot...
So it's a choice, this choosing for presence, and
we need to have the experience, and then install it, let it be savored.
[music]
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