Thứ Tư, 29 tháng 11, 2017

News on Youtube Nov 29 2017

so how do we make a relationship work what kind of a crazy question is this

this is our Daily Awesome podcast and Men this is a podcast about men's

development men's excellence where we talk about all sorts of crazy stuff like

this so anything with dating sex perspective mentality you know how to

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plus we got you covered and this is all recorded live on a call

it is the 8th of November 2017 and we are on a men's development excellence

call in fact I'll stand corrected we're on at TSL online call and the men's

development excellence calls a little bit later so if you want to get involved

in those you got to sign up for TSL Online or md excellence and if you're a guy

that wasn't better yourself I'd recommend it so let's get into the meat

of all this now that we're done with that and let's dive into it because this

is a huge question and it's coming from so many different perspectives what's

very important is that we have a dialogue about this so the guy that

asked this question is he's fairly young he's 24 or 25 I forget the exact age but

got a lot going in his life has great dating skills is able to meet women and

be sexual and so on and so in that context it's a certain type of question

but let's say you're 30 and you're asking that question let's say you're 40

let's say your dating skills aren't great and you're 28 so there's all sorts

of different variables that come in it and one of the things I ask people to

start with is a definition now rule number one is your definitions about

what you want in your life are bullshit they're most likely not going to happen

but the reason why we need to look at them is for a couple of reasons number

one self responsibility all right so we're looking at ourselves to guide us

we're accepting our problems our wants our desires and our directions to move

into very very big I mean this is this is

paramount in at all however we see this so much in the dating world so if

anybody's on an online dating app you see well I don't want to you know just

be used I don't want to have this and that I got out of a relationship here's

what I wanted a relationship here's the type of guy I'm looking for here's the

type of girl I'm looking for there's this endless checklist of different

things that we think we want and the fact of the matter is is what we end up

dating that the relationships that we end up having are never that and I could

say this for myself because my amazing wife you know I wanted I know what I

want I knew exactly what I wanted I knew all of that stuff but guess what it

never amounted into the picture of exactly what she is it was very

different than what she is now that doesn't mean I'm unhappy that doesn't

mean anything it just means that when we don't have a relationship it's very hard

to have a definition so we create a definition so that we can one have

personal responsibility of our desires our wants and so on and when we

encounter problems we solve them ourselves but also it's a starting place

for us to know the direction to go in so very very important is to go like hey

what do you want so my man you know who's very good with women and he's

about 24 years old you know he's looking at like man I don't know what I want but

I know I have this urge and this feeling towards it so here's the other

interesting and amazing thing about it so when it comes down to dating

relationships sex all these different things as soon as we start to have our

emotions involved in somebody as soon as we have our sex involved with somebody

as soon as that desire builds guess what happens we stop having a choice we stop

having this this idea of controlling things we just want to experience so our

hearts open up is an open field our minds open up is an open field

our sex opens up as an open field and it just says go go go it's easy to fall in

love it's easy to to feel good about something and if you're not having those

experiences for instance if you're dating a lot and you haven't really

hooked a girl or fallen into a relationship or have these

have them have these experiences that a lot of these people talk about well

there's two things that you're having trouble with and that's not exactly what

this podcast is about but I'll include a playlist where you could learn about

those things and that would be a modem so your connection isn't strong with

your emotions and sharing in exchange having that empathy or your seduction

your seduction is not connecting okay and if you have those two things in over

in order you're going to naturally connect with people all right into a

point where you hit that open field you know love and sex become this natural

phenomenon so let's talk about this natural phenomenon and then we'll get to

the overall answer of you know what do we do when we really want a relationship

to happen you know how do we make a relationship work so the thing is is

that when we have these feelings and we need to we need to talk about this as

men this is huge guys you need to realize this is going to happen when

your heart opens up when your sex opens up with a woman you feel the feelings of

monogamy monogamy is a phenomenon right so monogamy is a social definition for

how we have relationships and there's all these arguments of is this good or

is this bad and so on and I've been in monogamous relationship for a while now

but the thing is is yeah it's also unnatural and whatever but here's what's

natural about it let's take away all the social definitions and all the kudos

should of what does if you were sexually active of somebody if you're having an

emotional exchange with somebody there's going to be a point where she wants full

commitment from you she feels that it's not even making a commitment there's no

definition yet there's just this overwhelming feeling that a woman is

gonna have when that happens that's like oh my god I need this man this man needs

to be here that wears my security of this I want this I just I'd get so

jealous if somebody else was around this is feeling that saying that and there's

this feeling that comes across with a man that could have some of those

characteristics involved in it but also this feeling of a man saying man I want

to do everything for this woman like I am good I like I would have her for the

rest of my life I I want this this is beautiful I'm gonna do everything for

let's go on a trip let's do blah blah blah blah blah all this stuff that you

know what we hear in a lot of the man culture which is like you know where

we see all these men looking searching for definitions of themselves not

because we don't have that but this is one of those things where from the hurt

man culture they go that's weakness that's how you get hurt and so on it's a

natural feeling all right it's a natural feeling and you got to acknowledge that

first if you deny it it's gonna be imprisoned and fight fight fight to get

out so you're gonna have a feeling of what we'll call socially monogamy but

remember it's a feeling first the woman has her feelings of like I want this guy

can't be with anybody else and then there's this dude with his feelings

going like I want this girl she can't be with any anybody else they have

different characteristics and flavors of one another then through life and

cultures and so on and you know different types and styles of

relationships you know we then call that monogamy so you're gonna feel that and

it's gonna be awesome so when you feel that and you want to to continue on with

it you then make a commitment now here's what's gonna make your relationship work

is your alignment to that commitment here's the thing guys you're gonna feel

that commitment you're gonna have the desire to make it you're gonna overcome

it you're gonna commit to shit which you

don't know about because one you may not be familiar with the phenomenon of love

and your experience with that but more importantly you don't really know her

you know her on the 4-month her the 2-month her the few good weeks of good

sex her those types of things and she knows you in that way so you guys don't

fully know each other yet but you make a commitment now you can be wrong about

that commitment you just have to learn to communicate out of it but in that

commitment and I don't mean this in some old-fashioned way that commitment is an

attempt to fulfill that feeling that you wanted remember that feeling that that

turns into that definition of monogamy if I want to give myself to her I want

to do everything for her well guess what you know you stop having sex fuel your

relationship you stop having the novelty of new experiences fuel your

relationship you stop having or you start having arguments you start having

things which piss you off about her you know she doesn't you know do certain

things that maybe another girl should or would

whatever and you start losing that momentum right and it starts getting a

little bit boring and guess what you're probably getting a

little bit boring to her or unknowing to her but where does that commitment stand

when you made that commitment in that choice just as a personal thing again

don't think of this as like this old-fashioned like get in line with your

commitments in it and it can translate to that but I want you to think of it in

this way that commitment is going hey I had a value and I had a feeling that I

felt that was real and it made me decide this and remember that checklist of that

personal definition of what we wanted what was the main reason the main reason

was personal responsibility so ownership of self knowing that you made a

definition of what you wanted to go for and as I said for me man I fucking know

what I want but what did I get something totally different that I was absolutely

happy with all right but in all of that my commitment the same thing it's just

as blind is that want but my commitment may want to continue is that part of

myself that wanted to dedicate my life to her or so on and these types of

things right which now is you know conflicted with these annoying things

these other problems these things in a relationship that we have that that you

know fuck us up and so on and and whatever you know is that still there

and that's a hard thing to determine that's why you need a men's group man

that's why you need to bounce stuff off other guys who know you and can can hold

you to account ability not accountability like did you get your

goal done but the accountability of actually going like hey man I know what

you're capable of I know your potential and are you living up to it so in that

man like can we find the commitment to that you know can we find the the

accountability of ourselves and the man that shows like hey I want to dedicate

the cell myself to this because I believe in me and I believe in love and

I believe I wanted to do this but perhaps it's that I wanted to see if I

could do this in my life perhaps I wanted to see if I was capable of this

type of relationship perhaps I was capable of deciding whether or not you

know man this girl could live up to whatever and that is far more important

than your annoyance if let's put it this way if you ever so many people break up

with women for stupid reasons for or women break up with men either way

oh man I didn't like him oh we had this fight oh we had this dramatic thing oh

he's an asshole oh the sex was bad oh the blah blah blah and we go through

this checklist which probably wasn't true and we're not being real with

ourselves anytime I hear somebody complaining to me about a breakup and

they're like they want to blame the other person in any sort of way you're

lying to yourself you're taking your responsibility out of it that's not the

real reason why you broke up that's not the total picture that's the one thing

that you could flag that makes you look good or whatever it is but the thing is

is that I hate this we need to break up with somebody because we make a choice

that this wasn't the right person all right and so that's why we need to

cultivate this to make a relationship work you need to get in touch with the

commitment that you had when you felt the feeling of monogamy when you felt

the feeling of you wanted to dedicate your life to somebody because I'll tell

you this man five six years down the road where I'm at I don't have that

feeling anymore I don't have that feeling don't like oh my gosh

Maria is is this woman that I just want to do everything for but the commitment

that I made in it has elements of that so take out the novelty trick take out

the crazy like sex six times a day which would like to do them fuck the fucking

crazy man I'm pretty sexual person but this was beyond beyond man that's that's

that's one thing that really solidified the beginnings of that relationship but

take all of that out of it take all of the highlights take all of the things of

going that oh my god this is so amazing and what do we have it's so much more

it's actually so much more but if I just cave to the annoyance the little fights

the times when we do have misinterpretations or bad sex or things

that don't communicate with each other or the times where we crossed each other

in whatever ways if we if we did not align with our commitment

of who we you are in the person that we believed we could be in the road that we

wanted to walk down on if we didn't align with that and then keep that in

check yeah we deject in the fact of the matter is is what I want from all people

whether you're learning to talk to people where you're going into a

business interview you're learning to talk to women for the first time or

you're actually you know having relationships

I want you making a choice I don't want you making a reaction all right because

the reaction doesn't accept responsibility of self and it causes

conflict and disconnect where it doesn't need to be we're so afraid of being

judged that we don't show our real selves and you know then we just react

towards one another so we need to fuel our relationships by choice and we can

decide this isn't working out for us so just know guys we're gonna have this

feelings overwhelming feeling to commit to somebody we're gonna want that that's

gonna run out you know that's gonna change it's not a question of this

monogamy or polyamory or swinging or whatever the fuck it is or you know

going you know signing off women forever or whatever is the the answer it's more

that there's different phases in your life that you're gonna feel you need to

learn to articulate them that being said you know if we feel that it's not the

right thing we also need to learn to break up properly cuz that's tough too

you know that's a lot of pain sometimes you don't want to feel that sometimes we

need to react and masks our masks ourselves and be a total asshole to make

that happen we don't want to have relationships and breakups like that we

want ones where we're fluid in ourselves and it's a very confusing thing why you

need a men's group in any case this is what we're talking about tonight on a

daily awesome podcast and what we're gonna be talking about more and more and

more and more and we're gonna go on it's early on it's only 8:50 this call is

probably gonna go to a 1 a.m. and man it's an amazing experience guys from all

around the world hop on it if you want to be a part of that subscribe to the

channel when you subscribe it's a lot better if you click that little gray

bell that comes up because that keeps you notified when other videos like this

come up but in addition to that and the free stuff link man you get access to

tons and tons of videos stuff on Fitness stuff on dating free video courses very

very cool and you can find out our courses like men's development

excellence if you want to step it up if you want to make

your life better men's development excellence is the way

to go it will change your life being a part of a men's group or there's

accountability you can access them 24 hours a day and you can get on calls

talk as well as just a mountain of content just more than more than you

could more than you can imagine any case that's all there for you and guys I also

put up some suggestive videos for you to watch check those out when you're

subscribing to the channel those will help you get an understanding of

relationships dating sex and the different confusion in that and the ways

we can communicate to be better people all right we'll talk to you guys later

tonight ciao

For more infomation >> GETTING STARTED IN RELATIONSHIPS | Masculinity's Guide to Accountability & Commitment w Steve Mayeda - Duration: 16:17.

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HOW OUR RELATIONSHIP STARTED - LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP | LOBELO - Duration: 5:19.

For more infomation >> HOW OUR RELATIONSHIP STARTED - LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP | LOBELO - Duration: 5:19.

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The Importance Of Sex In A Relationship - Duration: 3:34.

The Importance Of Sex In A Relationship

by Conscious Reminder

It is believed in Taoist philosophy that two types of energy interact with each other:

One is Yin, the feminine energy and the other is Yang, the masculine energy.

These energies are constantly in interaction with each other within an individual and outside

in the Universe at large and most importantly, they are the forces that bring two individuals

together.

Haven�t we all heard people talk about their �other half�?

Well, this talk is based on truth.

The fact is that intimacy is a kind of dance between two people.

So, the first thing that happens is a kind of dance between two people to see whether

they really like each other or not.

These are usually the initial feelings of like or dislike that exists between two people.

After this phase is the more intense phase that comes in a strong deep relationship and

which is about more physical intimacy and care.

In this phase, if you choose from the heart you are in the honeymoon phase and if you

choose from the head, relationships become hard.

In the honeymoon phase, you cannot wait to get a glimpse of your partner.

All you need is to be with them and talk to them, as much as possible.

But, don�t make any long term plans during this phase because our feelings are clouded

by elation and in this overwhelming stage, the decisions made are usually not good.

After this phase ends, we tend to become more realistic.

We look at partner from a new angle and we are critical and sometimes even judgmental

of their actions and choices.

This is the time when you have to increase the strength of the bond with your partner

and you have to focus on your wants and needs as well.

This phase is extremely important and if you spend good time in this phase, your bond will

strengthen and mature.

One of the most important things that we must realize while being in relationships is that

we should not give up on the idea that relationships must be about attraction and romance.

Yes, the modern world doesn�t think in the same way because we have become so practical

and business minded.

But don�t choose relationships because they are convenient or because you are getting

�something� out of them.

Choose a relationship because it makes you happy and calm and satisfied.

A relationship has to make you a better person otherwise the relationship isn�t going anywhere.

Also, remember, when a relationship ends you have to release sexual energy cords because

these are like unconscious agreements or decisions that will stop you from moving on.

You have to let them go.

If you don�t let them go, your future relationship and even your sexual encounters will be haunted

by them and this is certainly not good for your emotional and spiritual health.

Anyways, when relationships end, they cause a lot of pain and grief but don�t forget

that the Universe always has a different plan for you.

Have faith in the Universe, it might be all happening for

your good!

For more infomation >> The Importance Of Sex In A Relationship - Duration: 3:34.

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Secretary Tillerson Delivers Remarks on the U.S.-European Relationship - Duration: 51:28.

SECRETARY TILLERSON: Well, good morning, and thank you, Jane, for that very kind introduction,

and also thanks to the Wilson Center for this opportunity to address you today.

The Wilson Center has made many important contributions to public policy over the years,

and therefore it's a very fitting venue for our discussion today on Europe, considering

that 100 years ago this year the United States entered World War I under the leadership of

President Wilson.

While we tend to associate Wilson with spearheading America's first major involvement in European

affairs, I think it's worth remembering that our commitment to Europe was earlier

championed by a predecessor of his, Theodore Roosevelt.

When Roosevelt died in 1919, just as Wilson was striving for peace in Europe, European

leaders joined the American people in an outpouring of grief and praise.

British Prime Minister David Lloyd George remembered him as an "inspiring figure far

beyond the country's shores."

Another British politician said he had been "the greatest of all Americans in a moment

of dire stress."

And a French senator said he had been "the apostle of the cause of right on the other

side of the Atlantic."

President Roosevelt was beloved in Europe because of his vigorous commitment to the

continent in the years before and during World War I.

While President Wilson steadfastly adhered to a neutrality policy, Roosevelt felt a responsibility

to come to Europe's defense.

It was reported he even once asked President Wilson for permission to personally lead an

Army division into Europe, and he had even written to a British army officer, saying,

"If we had done what we ought to have done after the sinking of the Lusitania, I and

my four boys would now be in the Army getting ready to serve with you in Flanders."

What motivated Theodore Roosevelt's rejection of neutrality and an ardent commitment to

the defense of Europe?

We can see the answer in something Roosevelt told the U.S. Congress in 1904, and I quote,

"A great free people owes it to itself and to all mankind not to sink into helplessness

before the powers of evil."

Roosevelt knew that the defense of freedom demanded action from free nations, confident

in their strength and protective of their sovereignty.

Roosevelt also knew that the United States and Europe, then as we are now, are bound

by shared principles.

Our nations live according to a self-evident truth on which Western civilization is built:

Liberty, equality, and human dignity.

These foundational principles are protected by the construct of our institutions dedicated

to the rule of law, separation of powers, and representative government.

Our principles are also protected from external threats by our collective determination, action,

and sacrifice in the face of security challenges.

World War I was the first great test in the 20th century of whether the United States

would pay the high cost of liberty.

Theodore Roosevelt never participated in that war, but he did pay that high cost: His son

Quentin, a fighter pilot, was killed in the skies over France.

In past decades, our way of life – and by extension, our core Western principles – have

been tested by the totalitarian threat of Nazism, by Soviet power and its communist

ideology, by ethnic and sectarian conflicts, and by internal political pressures.

Together, the U.S. and Europe have passed these tests, but we know that the United States

and Europe are again tested today and we will be tested again.

Under President Trump, the United States remains committed to our enduring relationship with

Europe.

Our security commitments to European allies are ironclad.

If we are to sustain the shared security commitments that ensure stability in the region, the Trump

administration views it as necessary for our allies to be strong, sovereign, prosperous,

and committed to the defense of shared Western ideals.

Over the past 10 months, we have embarked on a new strategic policy that bolsters European

and American security: namely, a recommitment to Europe in the wake of the failed "Russia

reset;" a new effort to adapt security institutions to combating emerging threats like terrorism,

cyberattacks, and nuclear proliferation; and an expectation that European nations accept

they are more secure when they contribute more toward their own defense.

These new policy directions will better position the United States and Europe to confront the

challenges that threaten our prosperity, the actors that seek to sow chaos and instill

doubt in our laws and institutions, and the enemies that threaten our security and oppose

our way of life.

This is a message I will repeat in my meetings with NATO and OSCE leaders, and in bilateral

meetings in a trip to Europe next week.

The preservation of our liberty begins with guaranteeing that our people can live in safety.

To that end, the United States places the highest importance on security relationships

with European allies, including NATO.

Alliances are meaningless if their members are unwilling or unable to honor their commitments.

Earlier this year, President Trump reaffirmed the United States commitment to Article 5

of the NATO treaty because it is the best mechanism we have to deter aggression.

And as the text of Article 5 reads, "The Parties agree that an armed attack against

one or more of them in Europe or North America shall be considered an attack against them

all."

Any attack by any actor on a NATO member-state will trigger Article 5, and the United States

will be the first to honor the commitment we have made.

We will never forget how NATO members came quickly to stand with us after the September

11th attack, and we will do the same for them if they are attacked.

While the West continues to seek a productive new relationship with post-Soviet Russia,

thus far it has proved elusive, as both attempts by the prior administration to reset the Russia

and U.S.-Europe relationships have been followed by Russia invading its neighbor Georgia in

2008 and Ukraine in 2014.

Russia continues aggressive behavior toward other regional neighbors by interfering in

election processes and promoting non-democratic ideals.

We, together with our friends in Europe, recognize the active threat of a recently resurgent

Russia.

That is why the United States has strengthened its deterrence and defense commitments in

Europe through the European Deterrence Initiative, or EDI.

Earlier this year, the administration requested $4.8 billion in its budget towards the EDI.

This increase of $1.4 billion over the previous year will enhance the U.S. military's deterrence

and defense capabilities and improve the readiness of our forces in Europe.

The EDI facilitates training and exercises with our European allies and partners to better

integrate our militaries and provide security for Europe.

And it will bolster the capacities of our Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps to

deploy assets and support NATO joint exercises.

In view of Russia's Zapad military exercises conducted near the borders of Baltic States

in September, our ability to respond to an attack in concert with our allies is more

important than ever.

The EDI also includes $150 million to help Ukraine build its capacity for defending its

territorial integrity.

The United States recognizes that the war in Ukraine – in which people are still dying

every day – must come to an end.

We have repeatedly urged Russia to begin the path to peace by honoring its commitments

under the Minsk agreements.

Any resolution of the war that does not entail a fully independent, sovereign, and territorially

whole Ukraine is unacceptable.

Russia chose to violate the sovereignty of the largest country in Europe.

The United States and Europe have stood shoulder-to-shoulder since 2014 in confronting this Russian aggression

with a coordinated sanctions policy.

Our transatlantic unity is meant to convey to the Russian Government that we will not

stand for this flagrant violation of international norms.

We hope Russia will take steps to restore Ukraine's full sovereignty and territorial

integrity and fully implement its Minsk commitments, allowing us to begin then the process of restoring

normal relations.

But let me be clear, Minsk-related sanctions will remain in place until Russia reverses

the actions that triggered them.

We are committed to the success of an independent and whole Ukraine.

However, Ukraine's future depends also on winning its internal struggle to implement

a broad range of economic, justice, security, and social sector reforms.

We encourage Ukraine to continue building capable, trustworthy institutions that will

reduce and eventually eliminate corruption, strengthen their judicial system, and deliver

economic prosperity to their citizens.

The Ukraine crisis also made clear how energy supplies can be wielded as a political weapon.

Enhancing European energy security by ensuring access to affordable, reliable, diverse, and

secure supplies of energy is fundamental to national security objectives.

The United States is liberalizing rules governing the export of liquefied natural gas and U.S.-produced

crude, and we're eager to work with European allies to ensure the development of needed

infrastructure like import terminals and interconnecting pipelines to promote the diversity of supply

to Europe.

In July, President Trump announced at the Three Seas Summit that the United States will

provide technical support for Croatia's Krk Island project.

The United States will continue to support European infrastructure projects, such as

LNG-receiving facilities in Poland and the Interconnector Greece Bulgaria pipeline, to

ensure that no country from outside Europe's Energy Union can use its resources or its

position in the global energy market to extort other nations.

We continue to view the development of pipelines like the Nord Stream 2 and the multiline TurkStream

as unwise, as they only increase market dominance from a single supplier to Europe.

The United States recognizes the fragility of the Balkans and will continue to work with

partners in the EU to bring stability, prosperity, and democracy to the region.

The people of the Balkan countries, to them we say: Abandon your old animosities so that

peace may become permanent.

You have a chance to direct a new course of history.

Bloodlines should no longer be battle lines.

The United States and the world long to see a new generation of Serbs, Croatians, Albanians,

Bosnians, Kosovars, and others who will forgive the past, even if they can never forget it.

A testament to America's shared values with Europe is our cooperation on issues beyond

the borders of Europe, which affect us all.

The United States and our European allies have partnered to hold Bashar al-Assad accountable

through sanctions for his crimes against his own people.

Since the beginning of the Syrian crisis, the EU and its member states have pledged

over 9.5 billion Euros in humanitarian, stabilization, resilience assistance, and those efforts are

continuing as the Global Coalition to Defeat ISIS stabilizes liberated areas.

As the last pockets of ISIS are defeated in Syria and international focus turns to resolving

the Syrian civil conflict, our European partners must continue to be strong advocates for the

UN-led Geneva process under UN Security Council Resolution 2254.

That alone can be the basis for rebuilding the country and implementing a political solution

that leaves no role for the Assad regime or his family in Syria's government.

Our European partners have also been strong supporters of our diplomatic and economic

pressure campaign against North Korea.

In addition to enthusiastically supporting UN Security Council resolutions, countries

have taken unilateral steps to maximize pressure on the regime in Pyongyang.

Portugal froze all diplomatic relations with the DPRK in July.

Spain and Italy have expelled North Korean ambassadors.

Latvia has fined banks who have violated the sanctions.

Our European allies know North Korea is a threat to all responsible nations and requires

a coordinated response.

We commend our allies for increasing pressure on the regime in Pyongyang in order to achieve

the complete, permanent, and verifiable denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula.

The partnership that the United States and European nations have forged are critical

– are a critical basis for confronting the threats of today and tomorrow, both in Europe

and outside of Europe.

The United States and Europe face many challenges and threats that – unlike in the past – are

simultaneously dispersed among many geographic frontlines and across multiple domains, whether

non-state terrorist actors, threats of a more conventional nature, cyber threats, or nuclear

threats.

Because we know we are stronger in confronting these challenges when we are working together,

we will pursue even greater cooperation from and with the nations of Europe, our best partners.

History has shown that when we are united, we succeed in the face of shared challenges.

As I remarked earlier, one of these challenges is Russia.

Europe and the United States seek a normalized relationship with Russia.

However, Russia has shown it seeks to define a new post-Soviet global balance of power,

one in which Russia, by virtue of its nuclear arsenal, seeks to impose its will on others

by force or by partnering with regimes who show a disregard for their own citizens, as

is the case with Bashar al-Assad's continuous use of chemical weapons against his own people.

The dissolution of the Soviet Union liberalized Russian society and created new trade opportunities

that benefit Russians, Europeans, and Americans.

But Russia has often employed malicious tactics against the U.S. and Europe to drive us apart,

weaken our confidence, and undermine the political and economic successes that we have achieved

together since the end of the Cold War.

Playing politics with energy supplies, launching cyber attacks and disinformation campaigns

to undermine free elections, and serially harassing and intimidating diplomats are not

the behaviors of a responsible nation.

Attacking a neighboring country and threatening others does nothing to improve the lives of

Russians or enhance Russia's standing in the world.

We want Russia to be a constructive neighbor of Europe and of the larger transatlantic

community.

But that is Russia's choice to make.

Russia can continue to isolate and impoverish itself by sowing disorder abroad and impeding

liberty at home, or it can become a force that will advance the freedom of Russians

and the stability of Eurasia.

Following the President's recent decision regarding our policy toward Iran, there is

actually much more that binds the United States and Europe together than drives us apart.

The JCPOA is no longer the only point of U.S. policy toward Iran; we are committed to addressing

the totality of the Iranian threat.

We ask our European partners to join us in standing up to all of Iran's malign behavior.

The Iranian regime is antithetical to Western principles in its totalitarian suppression

of individual, political, and religious freedom.

Neither the United States nor Europe wants another type of North Korea nuclear threat

on its hands, nor are any of our nations at ease with Iran's attempts at hegemony in

the Middle East through support for terrorist organizations, militias on the ground in Iraq

and Syria, and an active ballistic missile development program.

At Europe's intersection in the region, we know Turkey cannot ignore Iran because

of geographic proximity and cultural ties.

But we ask Turkey, as a NATO ally, to prioritize the common defense of its treaty allies.

Iran – and Russia – cannot offer Turkish people the economic and political benefits

that membership in the Western community of nations can provide.

We recognize the important contributions of our NATO allies that have been made in Afghanistan,

and we ask them to maintain their commitment to the mission.

The end state of the United States' new South Asia strategy is to destroy terrorist

safe havens and deny their re-establishment while the Afghan Government continues to strengthen

its own capacity to maintain security and create the conditions for reconciliation with

the Taliban and an inclusive government that accounts for the ethnic diversity of all Afghans.

We know this will take time.

But if we fail to exercise vigilance and undertake action against the terrorist threat, wherever

it is found, we risk re-creating the safe havens from which the 9/11 plot was hatched

and carried out.

We urge proportionate contributions of troops, funds, and other forms of assistance as we

seek to eradicate a terrorist threat that will not be confined to the place where it

was born.

NATO's Resolute Support mission is essential to our shared goal of ensuring that Afghanistan

develops the capability to contribute to regional stability and prevail over terrorist threats,

including al-Qaida and ISIS.

Even though ISIS is on the brink of complete extinction in Iraq and Syria, the threat of

ISIS and associated terror networks will persist in our own country and in others.

ISIS is looking for new footholds wherever they can find them, including the Sahel region

of West Africa.

We must take action so that areas like the Sahel or the Maghreb do not become the next

breeding ground for ISIS, al-Qaida, or other terrorist groups.

When these groups are able to occupy territory without disruption, their strategists, their

bomb makers, and online propagandists have an easier time encouraging, plotting, and

executing attacks elsewhere in the world.

This was for many months the case in Raqqa.

In support of our African and European partners, particularly France, the United States recently

committed up to $60 million to assist the G5 Sahel Joint Force to combat terrorism and

the potential rise of ISIS in the African Sahel region.

The emergence of ISIS in the Sahel is just one indication that threats to the safety

and well-being of our people will continue to have new and unexpected origins.

The evolving and unpredictable nature of the threats we face is already clear to the residents

of Paris, Brussels, Orlando, Nice, Berlin, Istanbul, London, Manchester, Barcelona, New

York, and many other places where our people have suffered at the hands of Islamist terrorists,

many of whom were radicalized in front of a computer screen inside their own homes inside

their own countries.

And the threats we face are clear to countries like Turkey, Greece, Italy, and Germany, who

have confronted the destabilizing impact of waves of irregular migration from North Africa

and the Middle East.

In the darkest hour of World War II, Winston Churchill declared that the British people

would fight on the fields, in the beaches, and in the streets to protect their country.

Today, our fight is increasingly located on the internet, at passport checkpoints, and

in the hearts and minds of young people in Europe and around the globe.

European security institutions, including NATO, must be properly adapted to address

internal and external threats such as radical Islamic terrorism to address cyberattacks

and to address unchecked migration.

Though we know these are the threats of the future, too many headlines have already declared

these are the threats of today.

New threats to the United States and Europe are long-term, unpredictable in timing, and

localized in many different places.

Properly anticipating and combating these threats require a greater European commitment

to security, because local responders are the most effective deterrent.

While the United States will continue to maintain our guarantees against a catastrophic failure

of security in the region, and will continue to expend resources to maintain our protective

umbrella, the nations of Europe must accept greater responsibility for their own security

challenges.

Our alliances must be made stronger in the current strategic environment; a lack of diligence

and duty will only invite greater risk.

President Trump said in Warsaw, and I quote, "We have to remember that our defense is

not just a commitment of money, it's a commitment of will."

Our expenditures are in some ways a reflection of how much we seek to protect peace and freedom.

We once again urge European partners who have not done so already to meet the 2 percent

of GDP target for defense spending.

This year, Albania, Croatia, France, Hungary, and Romania have newly committed to attaining

the 2 percent benchmark.

These nations know they must invest in security to preserve liberty.

Every NATO member has previously agreed to the Wales Pledge on Defense Investment.

It's time for each of us to honor that agreement.

We also urge greater security integration, provided that the relationships are efficient

and serve shared interest.

These commitments are necessary because our freedom and security is at stake.

The United States and all nations of Europe – especially those who once lived under

the weight of communist dictatorships – value our freedoms as nations who can act on our

own authority.

If we do not exercise responsibility, we will not have sovereignty; and if we do not have

sovereignty, we will not have freedom.

Maintaining sovereignty also entails cultivating the virtues that make it possible.

Free nations must exercise vigilant protection of civil societies and the groups, families,

and individuals that compose them.

Rule of law and representative governments are empty shells when detached from a vibrant

civil society and a deep respect for certain self-evident truths.

We can win every great geopolitical struggle, but if we are not perennially vigilant of

our own behavior, our own people may lose in the long run.

The preservation of Western ideals depends on how willing we are to protect the core

truths upon which our political and economic freedoms are based.

We know the people and leaders of Europe are having many conversations about their future.

America will not attempt to impose answers to those questions.

We recognize that Europe is composed of free nations who, in the great tradition of Western

democracy, must be able to choose their own paths forward.

As in the past, the United States is committed to working with Europe's institutional arms,

and while we also recognize that our allies are independent and democratic nations with

their own history, perspective, and right to determine their future.

This position has a particular relevance for what is transpiring in the UK over the Brexit.

The United States will maintain our longstanding special relationship with the United Kingdom,

and at the same time maintain a strong relationship with the EU, regardless of the outcome of

Brexit.

We will not attempt to influence the negotiations, but we urge the EU and UK to move this process

forward swiftly and without unnecessary acrimony.

We offer an impartial hand of friendship to both parties.

The next chapter of European history must be written in Europe's own words.

As I mentioned at the beginning, 2017 marks the 100th anniversary of America's entry

into World War I.

But this November also marks the centennial of another event in world history: the beginning

of the Russian Revolution.

Though the Soviet Union collapsed 26 years ago, a few symbols and phrases associated

with decades of Soviet rule endure in the English language: the Gulag, the five-year

plan, the Iron Curtain, the Berlin Wall.

These few words, almost universally understood, capture the bitter and brutal history of communist

rule in Europe and Russia.

And they remind us of what can happen if we fail to defend the core principles of liberty

and sovereignty in the Western tradition.

In our time, forces like authoritarian nation-states, radical Islamist terrorists, and hackers with

a lust for chaos are attempting to erode our principles of freedom, equality, human dignity,

the rule of law, and representative government.

We cannot fail to take on the sovereign responsibility of protecting those freedoms.

As Theodore Roosevelt also said, "Every nation, whether in America or anywhere else,

which desires to maintain its freedom, its independence, must ultimately realize that

the right of such independence cannot be separated from the responsibility of making good use

of it."

Aware of this responsibility, the U.S. will remain firmly committed to peace, stability

and prosperity, and liberty for Europe.

As we reflect on how our ties with Europe have endured over the past 100 years, the

United States stands by our European allies and partners, so that our free societies will

be standing strong together another 100 years from now.

Thank you.

(Applause.)

MS HARMAN: Thank you, Mr. Secretary, for a speech that I think is worthy of many of the

leaders you cited – Woodrow Wilson, who served us as president a hundred years ago;

Theodore Roosevelt; Franklin Roosevelt; Winston Churchill.

You linked all parts of the world, and that is why we honor people like you with our public

and business awards over the years.

So let me focus just a bit more on Europe since that was your topic and you're going

to Europe next week.

Bob Dickie and I were recently at NATO visiting with our extremely able ambassador, Kay Bailey

Hutchison, and she convened a lunch of eight foreign ambassadors to NATO.

And what came through is – to me, is a view they have that this is a zero-sum game.

As the United States focuses on problems around the world like – urgent problems, and you

cited many of them – like North Korea and Iran, it will pay less attention to Europe.

I thought that your speech made the point that this is not a zero-sum game, that if

a strong Europe stands with us, we are stronger together to face the tough problems around

the world that are also developing blowback to Europe.

And am I right?

Is that – was that the elevator pitch?

SECRETARY TILLERSON: Well, that – yeah, that is the message that I'll be taking

next week, that just as the last 100 years I think have proven, we view the current times

we're in similarly, that the United States cannot alone confront all of these threats.

They are so widespread, and they are also so interconnected.

You can pick any one of the threats that I went through and you will find points of connection

between every one of them, in some form or fashion, whether it's a Russian involvement,

a China involvement, an Iranian involvement, Islamist terrorism involvement.

But we are confronted with a particularly complex time in our world of dealing with

threats to our civil society.

And we're only going to prevail against those threats with continuing to use our allies,

the strength of our allies.

And one of the things the United States is blessed in our foreign policy and in our national

security posture is we have many, many allies, many allies, all over the world, and those

alliances were forged in shared blood and shared sacrifice, unlike many of our adversaries

who can count their allies on less than all the fingers on one hand, because they didn't

forge those alliances through those shared sacrifices, nor are they forged through shared

ideals.

So I think what we're recognizing and promoting is the strength of these historic alliances,

which I think over some period of time, perhaps since the end of the Cold War, we lost our

way a bit in some of these relationships, maybe a view in particular in Europe that

with the end of the Cold War, the imminent threat that everyone faced for that 70-year

period was now diminishing, and what we now realize is it didn't.

It didn't diminish.

It's still defining itself; it's still searching for its role in the name of Russia.

But these threats that are emanating out of the Middle East, which now have brought themselves

right to the shores and to the borders of our European allies, whether it be through

the mass migration but also with the mass migration comes the transport of those who

would kill others and sacrifice themselves in doing it, that these are threats that we

can only confront with a very strong network of the alliances.

And so it is really – in some respects, it's a recommitment, but it's also a redefinition

of what this alliance means.

And I think the message President Trump carried early on when he went to Europe – and received

a lot of criticism for it – was to demand of our allies that you care as much about

your freedom and you care as much about the security of your people as we care about you.

And when you looked at the commitments that the U.S. – the sacrifice that the U.S. makes

in terms of not just the taxpayers' dollars but our own men and women in uniform, the

commitment we made seemed to be a little out of balance.

And I think the President was just sending the message that we're committed to this

alliance.

You have to get committed – you need to get as committed to it as we are.

And I think what I've heard in my – and I've had a lot of dialogue with European

counterparts – that message has resonated.

And we're seeing it in the commitments to NATO, commitments to defense spending, a recommitment

of personnel.

And this is really what was needed at this time, where we are under these enormous threats,

and we have to strengthen the alliances; we have to strengthen NATO's capability to

deal with what are now new and changing threats.

And that was really the purpose of the President's message early in his presidency, which we've

now followed through on in crafting these stronger relationships.

We have more work to do, but I think our message to Europe is nothing has changed in terms

of our commitment to you.

Nothing from that time we made that decision 100 years ago to enter World War I in your

defense – nothing has changed fundamentally.

The same values that bind us are still there.

MS HARMAN: Thank you.

SECRETARY TILLERSON: Let's keep that strong.

MS HARMAN: Mindful of your time, I just want to get in a few questions about other topics,

including questions from the audience.

But I would note that an interesting point you made in your talk was about Turkey, that

Turkey now has a choice: It can become more connected to Europe, which is a huge advantage,

and to us, or not.

And I heard that loud and clear.

I want to turn to the question of State Department funding and organization, something that many

people are interested in.

Every organization needs renewal.

The Wilson Center needs renewal.

And surely, everyone here, including long-serving Foreign Service officers, think the State

Department needs renewal.

However, questions have arisen about the steep cuts in your budget proposed by the Office

of Management and Budget – that doesn't mean that's what Congress will enact – and

what some claim is a hollowing out of your department.

Most recently today, two valued friends of the Wilson Center, Nick Burns and Ryan Crocker,

both of them enormously experienced Foreign Service officers and ambassadors, wrote a

piece in The New York Times with a lot of information about who's leaving and what

its implications are.

My understanding is there is another side to this story.

And so I would like to ask you to tell your side of this story and give us your vision

for what the State Department should become.

SECRETARY TILLERSON: Well, let me start quickly with the budget, because it's – I think

it's the easier – actually easier question to address.

The budget that the State Department was given in 2016 was a record-high budget – almost

$55 billion.

This was above what traditionally has been a budget that runs kind of the mid-30 billion

level.

And this was ramping up over the last few years, in many respects for some good reasons.

But as we look at that spending level, quite frankly, it's just not sustainable.

It is very difficult to execute a $55 billion budget and execute it well.

That's a lot of spending and deployment of resources, and I take our stewardship of

those dollars very seriously, and I take the congressional oversight obligations on us

very seriously and am not going to brush them aside light handedly.

So part of this was just a reality check: Can we really keep this up?

And the truth of the matter is, it'd be very difficult to keep it up and do it well.

And secondly though, part of this bringing the budget numbers back down is reflective

of an expectation that we're going to have success in some of these conflict areas of

getting these conflicts resolved and moving to a different place in terms of the kind

of support that we have to give them.

So it's a combination of things – that sustainability, a recognition that those numbers

are really the outliers.

The numbers we're moving to are not the outliers; they're more historic in terms

of the levels of spending.

As to the State Department redesign – and I use the word "redesign" because it would

have been really easy to come in on day one and do a reorg.

A "reorg," when I use that word, is moving the boxes around on the org chart.

When I showed up in the State Department, I was stunned when I got the organization

chart out and I had 82 direct reports to the Office of the Secretary, to me – 82.

Now, almost 70 of those are special envoys, special ambassadors, positions that have been

created.

So we immediately undertook an examination of just what's a reasonable way to run the

place, and that isn't it.

Having run a large global organization – and I have been through three major reorganizations

in my history and actually enjoy doing it – it's always focused on how do we help

the people be more effective, how do we get the obstacles out of their way.

So we undertook a different approach, and since I don't know the department and didn't

know its culture, we had a massive listening exercise.

We had 35,000 people respond and we had over 300 face-to-face interviews, and we continue

an active dialogue with people today about what is it – if I could do one thing for

you that would make you more effective and make you – make your work more satisfying,

what would that be.

And we got hundreds of ideas.

We've actually selected about 170 of those ideas that we are now perfecting.

The reason we call it a redesign is most of these have to do with work processes internally

and work processes with inter-agencies that we should be able to improve the way people

get their work done.

Some of it is tools and enablement, so things like – we have a really antiquated IT system.

I was shocked when I went down to spend an afternoon with the A Bureau, and I said, "What's

the one thing I could do?"

And they said, "Get us into the cloud."

And I looked at them.

I said, "What do you mean?

We're not in the cloud?"

And they said, "No, no.

We're still on all these servers."

Well, that's a big cyber risk, first.

But it really made it very cumbersome for people, and when I started using my own computer

I started realizing just how cumbersome it was.

So a lot of the projects that have been identified out of the redesign are process redesigns

and some enablement for people, and it's all directed at allowing the people of the

State Department to get their work done more effectively, more efficiently, and have a

much more satisfying career.

We have a lot of processes in the HR function that have not been updated in decades, and

they need to be updated.

How we put people out on assignment – we invest enormous amounts of money in people

that we deploy to missions overseas, and I was stunned to find out in a lot of the missions

these are one-year assignments.

So we invested all this money; we send them out to the mission.

They're there for one year, and about the time they're starting to figure it out and

have an impact, we take them out and we move them somewhere else.

Well, a lot of people have said to me, "I would really like to stay another year and

start contributing."

So it's a lot of things like that that came out of the listening exercise.

So the – so we have five large teams.

They're all employee-led.

I've brought in some consultants to help us facilitate, but the redesign is all led

by the employees in the State Department.

The issue of the hollowing out – I think all of you appreciate that every time you

have a change of government you have a lot of senior Foreign Service officers and others

who decide they want to move on and do other things.

We've had a – our numbers of retirements are almost exactly what they were in 2016

at this point.

We have the exact same number of Foreign Service officers today – we're off by 10 – that

we had at this time in 2016.

There is a hiring freeze that I've kept in place, because as we redesign the organization

we're probably going to have people that need to be redeployed to other assignments.

I don't want to have a layoff; I don't want to have to fire a bunch of people.

So I said, "Let's manage some of our staffing targets with just normal attrition."

Having said that, I have signed over 2,300 hiring exceptions, because I've told every

post if you have a critical position and you really need that filled, just send it in.

And I think I have out of 2,300 requests I think I've denied eight positions that I

decided we really didn't need.

So we're keeping the organization fully staffed.

We've had over – we're still running our Foreign Service officer school; we've

hired over 300 this year.

So there is no hollowing out.

These numbers that people are throwing around are just false; they're wrong.

There was a story about a 60 percent reduction in career diplomats.

The post career diplomat was created by the Congress in 1955 to recognize an elite few.

The number of career diplomats in the State Department have ranged from as low as one

at any given time to as many as seven.

When I took over the State Department we had six.

Four of those people have retired.

These are your most senior – they were – they reached 65, they retired, they moved on.

We have a review process – we're very selective in replacing those, but we actually

have a review process underway and we're evaluating a handful of people who might be

worthy of that designation.

But we still have two.

But we went from six to two; it was a 60 percent reduction.

It sounded like the sky was falling.

The other comment I would make is while the confirmation process has been excruciatingly

slow for many of our nominees, I have been so proud of the acting assistant secretaries

and people who've stepped into acting under secretary roles.

And when the – I read these articles that there's this hollowing out, I take offense

to that on their behalf because the people that are serving in those roles are doing

extraordinary work, and they know they're not going to get the job permanently.

They already know we have a nominee, but they come in every day, they work hard, they travel

with me around the world, and that's – it's that group of people that have helped me put

in place and helped the President put in place the North Korean strategy with the international

sanctions; a Syrian approach to the peace process that we think we're about to get

on the right track; an approach to negotiating with the Russians on Ukraine; an approach

to the Defeat ISIS campaign; the Iran policy, the South Asia policy in Afghanistan, our

new posture towards Pakistan; the open – free and open Indo – all of that's been done

with the people that are working there today, and I'm very proud.

I'm very proud of what they've done.

They're working hard and I'm offended on their behalf.

I'm offended on their behalf when people say somehow we don't have a State Department

that functions.

But I can tell you it's functioning very well from my perspective.

Have we got more we want to do?

Yes, we got more we want to do.

And my only objective in the organization redesign is to help these people who are – who

have chosen this as a career – because I'll come and go, and there will be other politicals

that will come and go – what can I do to help them?

Because they've decided they want to spend their life doing this and they should be allowed

to do it as effectively and efficiently and without a lot of grief and obstacles.

And if I can remove some of that for them, that's what I want to do.

MS HARMAN: Let me tell you, that message will resonate around the world.

A lot of people wanted to hear that.

Your time is very short.

I just would like to group, briefly, three questions from the audience into one.

Molly Cole who works for Representative Gerry Connolly, and I'm sure was one of our vaunted

stars in our foreign policy programs, asks, "Do you think support for democracy and

human rights abroad is an important part of the State Department's mission?"

That's one.

Matt Rojansky who heads our Kennan Institute – George Kennan literally was a scholar

here at one point – asks, "Where do you think progress with Russia is possible?"

And finally, Mike Sfraga, whom you met, who heads our Polar Initiative, asks, "In light

of the increased interest and activity in the Arctic, is the Arctic and Alaska of strategic

importance to the United States and to its European Arctic allies?"

SECRETARY TILLERSON: Well, as to human rights and human dignity, of course they are priorities.

What I have said about those elements of our foreign policy is those are values, and those

are values that are enduring and they never change.

Now, when you're constructing foreign policy and strategies and approaches, you have to

prioritize, and you can't de-prioritize human rights.

It's with you, it's part of every policy decision you make.

The question is how do you want to affect it?

And if you make – if you say, well, it's a priority, priorities can change.

Well, this can never change.

This is enduring and it's a part of every foreign policy construct that we develop.

What I would say is that – but if you're dealing with a place like Syria or Iraq was

in under ISIS occupation, the most important thing was saving people's lives.

How can we keep people from getting killed?

Because the ultimate human right is the right to live.

The right to live first.

If I can live, then I can begin to take care of my family, then I can begin to fight for

my human rights, then I can begin to fight for my human – but if I'm being killed

every day, I'm being bombed, I'm being gassed – our priority was save lives.

So we want to save lives first, and if we do that, we stabilize areas and then we can

start creating the conditions to ensure people's human rights and dignity are respected.

With respect to Russia, there are areas of mutual cooperation.

We're working hard in Syria to defeat ISIS and we are on the cusp of having ISIS once

and for all defeated in Syria.

We got work yet to do.

We are working together with Russia on how to prevent the civil war from re-erupting,

and so we've had a lot of conversations over what does Russia see as the end state

of Syria, what do we see as the end state, and there's a lot of commonality there.

Tactically, how we get to those to peace talks, we're working very closely with one another

on.

We have our ups and downs.

If you saw – I think it was a very important joint statement was issued by President Trump

and President Putin from Da Nang, Vietnam on the margins of the APEC meeting.

That was an important alignment of how we see the Syria peace process going forward,

and it was an important statement to have Russia confirm that they see it the same way

we do.

We'll use that and we'll build on it.

I think there are other areas of counterterrorism.

Russia has great fear of migration out of the Central Asian regions and terrorism inside

of Russia.

We think there's areas of greater cooperation on counterterrorism with Russia.

There may be opportunities for cooperation in Afghanistan.

We've not yet come to what that might be, but we're talking about it.

In Ukraine, what I've said to the Russians is we're never going to get this relationship

back to normal until we solve Ukraine.

It just sits there as an enduring obstacle, and we've got to address it.

So, as you know, I appointed a special representative, former ambassador to NATO Kurt Volker, to

focus on nothing but working with his Russian counterpart which Putin appointed to see if

we can find a way forward – not marginalizing the Normandy process, but working with it

to see if we can break the logjam.

We've had some very substantive discussions.

We're pursuing the possibility of a peacekeeping force in Ukraine to stop the ongoing – every

day people are killed, civilians are killed.

We want to stop that first and save the lives first, and then let's start working toward

the process.

So there are many areas of cooperation with Russia, and they have many others they'd

like to work with us on.

We just don't think it's time to do that.

Now, with respect to the Arctic, the Arctic is going – is important today.

It's going to be increasingly important in the future, particularly as those waterways

have opened up.

What I can tell you is the United States is behind.

We're behind all the other Arctic nations.

They are – they have dealt with this.

They've gotten way ahead of us.

The Russians made it a strategic priority.

Even the Chinese are building icebreaking tankers.

Now, why are they building icebreakers?

They're not an Arctic nation.

Because they see the value of these passages.

So we're late to the game.

I think we have one functioning icebreaker today.

The Coast Guard's very proud of it – (laughter) – as crummy as it is.

MS HARMAN: Yeah.

Yeah.

SECRETARY TILLERSON: And I know in the budget – there is money in the budget for us to

-- MS HARMAN: For one more.

SECRETARY TILLERSON: -- to make – to build another icebreaker.

But the whole Arctic region, because of what's happened with the opening of the Arctic passageways

from an economic and trade standpoint, but certainly from a national security standpoint,

is vitally important to our interest.

And so our engagement through not just the Arctic Council but through other mechanisms

is important to working with the Arctic countries on international norms, what are the rules

of the game going to be, because these are areas that have not been addressed in the

past, so very important.

MS HARMAN: So time is up.

I was going to ask you what you want your legacy to be, but listening to you, I don't

know that that question can be answered yet.

You're all over the world, you're focused deeply on the tough questions.

You're headed to Europe next week.

You have to come back and answer all the other questions we couldn't ask today.

(Laughter.)

Was that a yes?

SECRETARY TILLERSON: Yes, I'll be back.

(Laughter.)

MS HARMAN: Thank you, Mr. Secretary

For more infomation >> Secretary Tillerson Delivers Remarks on the U.S.-European Relationship - Duration: 51:28.

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Toke Makinwa has recently been in the news for an alleged relationship with a certain

business mogul.

She has come out to not debunk or accept the claims..

Toke Makinwa reacted to the flirting rumour on Twitter.

In a cryptic post on her Twitter page, she said, " if I can take the good I can also

take the bad"

In what looked like a shade, veteran rapper, Ruggedman made some comments which everyone

felt he was referring to Toke Makinwa in respect to her failed marriage and mostly the rumours

of her relationship with an older man.

However, Ruggedman on November 27, 2017, come out to deny that he was referring to Toke

Makinwa blaming bloggers for blowing his message out of proportion.

Toke Makinwa recently celebrated her birthday in grand style.

Among those who turned up to celebrate with her include Mo Abudu, Dakota Lawson, and singer,

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Money And Relationships - How To Handle Money - Duration: 11:27.

Marriage and money and relationship, most people say that's a recipe for

disaster and bankruptcy and divorce but I'm excited to share with you how to

prevent that from happening. I've been married 35 years, worked with

lots and lots of couples around the conversation of money and marriage in

love and how to make it work. So you'll learn how to deal with money in a

relationship.

So excited to talk about this topic. How to deal with money in a

relationship. So I'll just tell you right up front why I'm so excited to talk

about this because this was such a major issue in my marriage. Now you have to

know, I've been married 35 years and part of the reason I've been married 35 years

is financially, we got divorced about 18 years ago and so most people are like,

what? But seriously, we have had money conflict for so many years. It was to the

point that it was like, we either separated our finances and stayed

married or we got divorced because we had been fighting about it for so long,

we just didn't see any way to have a peaceful resolution and so

there's a lot of reasons for that, I'll just give you a little bit of

background because it couldn't illustrate some of the differences that

happens in a couple's relationship. So I grew up on a farm, very conservative, very

self-supporting, expecting to work when I was young but part of living on a farm

is feast or famine, right? You plant every year but hail storms come,

predators come, there's so many unknowns in the elements that you always plant in

faith but you don't always harvest what you plant because there's all these

other things that happen and so I was taught a really great work ethic but

also there was just this fare and anxiety because anything could happen,

it's like always waiting for the shoe to drop so there's this underlying fear and

anxiety. Now my husband's family was vastly different, his dad worked for

an employer, they moved every two years and they just kind of tend to like,

"We have it, enjoy it and when it's gone, it's gone and we're not gonna worry about it,

we'll wait for the next paychecks." So two very different family systems, two very

different individuals. I tend to like to plan and save and be prepared,

he tends to be spontaneous and spur in the moment and let's me have it, let's use it

and so two major major major conflicting conversations and so when we got

married, I was like, okay so, you have see now he worked and I didn't, so here's

your allowance and you can only imagine how that went over. Anyway, so it was

the beginning of our many years of financial struggle so some things that

we learned through that whole process and it's not just my own experience as

I've worked with families and couples, this is a big deal. They always say the

biggest cause of divorce is money and it is, it is such a volatile subject because

what we do with our money is such a part of who we are, it's what we value, what we

exchange for is what we value and so when you try to start managing what

people value, it can be very intrusive, it's a very different feeling and so

it's not just the money, it's learning how to value your partner,

it's learning how to understand them, it's learning how to make money flow and

manage in a way that everyone can be satisfied. So the first thing is just

throw away whatever rules you think that there are based on the family that you

came from because you get to decide as a couple what works best for you and

that was a big problem for us because I felt like, and let me tell you, I could

get all kinds of proof, I work in the industry that tell you this how does

and you have to save and whatever and so I could stand on my soapbox,

I'm right, this is how it has to be done and I could do that all day long

and if it didn't feel right for him and I didn't honor him, then it wasn't right

for us as a couple. So the first thing is, just look

at your family of origin, look at how they managed money, look at the pros and

cons, the probability that there are good in both is there and so like when my

husband and I finally got to a place or we can have this conversation as we were

learning a lot more about ourselves and our experiences with money and our

experiences in our family, one of the things that we recognized was that one

of the gifts that he brought to our relationship was that spontaneity, that

"let's go have fun and let's just do these amazing things" because my whole thing

was saved for a rainy day and that doesn't mean a lot for fun and

whatever, it's like, "No, we can't use our money because we have to have it for an

emergency and so one of the sweet spots that we found was that, "Oh goodness,

you know, we can have fun and we can enjoy our money." And the gifts that I

bring is we can enjoy and have our money but we also will have a future and so

between those two conversations, we have this place where we could come together.

Now we live in a world where we have divorces and alimony and people are not

just bringing situations and experiences from their childhood,

they're bringing stuff from previous marriages and that also is very volatile

and so give yourself permission to create something different, give yourself

permission to have separate finances if you have to because I run into a lot of

couples who do that because they do, they have separate family obligations and so

what works best for them is to just clearly define who is going to take care of

what. When we got a financial divorce, we just sat down and I said, "This is what I

need to take care of." So I know that I have certainty, I feel at peace that I

have what I need and then you can do whatever you need to do there and

even within that, there was communication, there would be

times where I'd be like, "Hey, you know, I'd like to do this and I don't really have

the budget for that and would you help me out?" And so my husband would be freely

would be giving and sharing but what that allowed us to do is for him to be

able to have the freedom to do the things he felt were important and it

allowed me to create that structure and that safety that I needed and as a woman,

we want stability and security and men tend to want more

of an adventure. So for us and our personalities and our family situation,

that worked really really good. So be aware of the conversations in your home

and then the conversation of the conversations and experiences of your

own personal life because each of those mold us

into where we are today. Look at the gifts and the benefits, weaknesses and

strengths of all of those and find this unique place where you can really really

come together and then most of all, give yourselves permission to do whatever you

need to do to make it work in a way that both people are honored and that does

take the time to know your partner and this isn't just marriage or couples,

it's kids, it's business partners. What do they

value? What is really their core beliefs and values? And allow money to

support that so that they feel valued, they feel honored, they feel heard and so

creating those really clearly defined roles helps a lot. Now if there is a

place where it is best if you can agree on big decisions, right? So there's these

places where you can define roles and separate, that there's office of those

places where really for the good of the unit and everyone together that we come

together and so that's another one of those conversations and maybe it's

just an agreement, before I spend about X amount of money, we'll have a

conversation about that so that we're on the same page and that does allow us to

have that cohesiveness and we're making decisions that will affect both parties

but can be done jointly but still allow within that a partnership individuals to

have their own say so it's so powerful and it doesn't matter roles, it doesn't

man, it doesn't matter if it's a woman, I mean we do we have so many unspoken

rules about how marriage and finance is supposed to work and and if you're

somebody who doesn't have a part of the financial conversation,

I encourage you to step up and ask your partner to be a part of that because one

of the biggest downfalls in a relationship when you have one person

who controls and knows everything and it's not that they're controlling but a

lot of times, one partner says, "Yeah, I don't care. I don't want to know, you just

take care of it." We do live in a world where death happens and divorce

happens and so it is important that you're vested and interested in what

what is happening with your money or you can find yourself alone and have

no idea and so you do whether you do everything jointly or separately,

it's really important that both partners are very educated about what you have,

where's your savings, where's your investments, where's your insurance

because when life happens and is disrupted for whatever reason, if you're

not involved and aware, it can really cause a lot of heartache

and pain so just encourage you, take a look at that, find a place to honor

every partner, everyone gets a voice, everyone gets to

be honored, everyone has this say and we're all different and that's what's

beautiful about our marriages and our relationships, is we bring certain gifts

and attributes and so when we came cohesively, allocate, and work our money

to honor all of those things then we will have peace and harmony and

ultimately, we will actually be way more profitable and have a lot more

prosperity.

Thanks for watching the video. So are you ready to have a really

empowering conversation with your spouse? Comment below, we'd love to hear what you

thought about the video and subscribe for great future content.

For more infomation >> Money And Relationships - How To Handle Money - Duration: 11:27.

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Bella Hadid Might Be Looking At Open Relationship With The Weeknd After His Katy Perry Date - Duration: 3:26.

Bella Hadid Might Be Looking At Open Relationship With The Weeknd After His Katy Perry Date

Is Bella Hadid contemplating an open relationship with The Weeknd? By the looks of things, Hadid and her on-and-off boyfriend, The Weeknd, are going for an open relationship.

Since Selena Gomez ended her romance with The Weeknd, he has been spotted on numerous occasions outside of the model's apartment.

Many of their fans are hoping they have rekindled their love, while others are begging her to stay away because he will break her heart again.

A source said she is not sure she wants to be with him and added: "Bella was touched that Abel took the time out to send her flowers and to let her know that he was thinking of her, she thinks it was super sweet of him.

He's saying and doing all the right things right now, but Bella is still really cautious of him.

She wants to make sure that his intentions are good, and that he's not just trying to get with her as some rebound romance.

Bella has never stopped loving Abel, but he hurt her before, and she doesn't want to ever feel like that again.

She can't help questioning his timing, now he's single again he's suddenly declaring his love for her, but the whole time he was with Selena she didn't hear a thing from him.".

However, the Canadian star seems to be serious and is hoping for a long-term romance.

He sent her flowers and a sweet note after she walked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show's catwalk.

A pal claimed: "Bella loved every minute of the show, and she looked absolutely stunning.

The event went off without a hitch, and it was a raging success.

Bella was on a high the whole night.

Abel sent her a gorgeous, huge bouquet of flowers along with a super sweet note telling her how amazing she is and how proud of her he is.".

Despite being hooked on Hadid, The Weeknd was spotted on a romantic dinner with Katy Perry.

Another tipster stated: "Bella has no problem with The Weeknd meeting with Katy for dinner.

Bella and Weeknd have been broken up for a long time, and while they have spent some time together recently, they are not exactly getting back together anytime soon.".

Open relationships are the new thing in the entertainment world.

For more infomation >> Bella Hadid Might Be Looking At Open Relationship With The Weeknd After His Katy Perry Date - Duration: 3:26.

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WWE News: Batista on his relationship with Brock Lesnar and The Rock - Duration: 3:48.

WWE News: Batista on his relationship with Brock Lesnar and The Rock

On a recent edition of The Ross Report, Batista spoke to Jim Ross on a myriad of topics including the close but competitive relationship he shared with Brock Lesnar.

Additionally, Batista also asserted that he's still in contact with The Rock, and has a ton of respect for The Brahma Bull, especially given the fact that he was trained in pro-wrestling by The Great One's uncle. In case you didn't know….

Batista was one of the WWE's top Superstars throughout the Ruthless Aggression era, but fan reaction to the Animal turned highly negative in recent years, owing to the WWE Universe diverting their support to newer stars such as Daniel Bryan (now retired), Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Kevin Owens and others.

Nevertheless, given Batista's clout in the professional wrestling business, and him having appeared in multiple major Hollywood productions, the former WWE Champion is still a big name in the world of sports and entertainment. The heart of the matter.

Expounding upon the relationship he and Brock Lesnar shared during their OVW (Ohio Valley Wrestling) days, Batista emphasized that the Beast would often encourage guys to train harder, and each and every one of them shared a close but competitive relationship.

Furthermore, Batista explained that he recently called The Rock and asked the latter whether he'd be alright with co-starring in a Fast and Furious franchise film, to which Rocky expressed his delight, and gave highly positive reactions during the conversation with Batista.

Besides, Batista revealed that The Rock is a very cool and gracious guy; adding that perhaps a big reason behind their cordial relationship is the fact that Rocky's uncle Afa Anoa'I trained the Animal.

Batista also revealed that he'd love to work in a movie with The Rock, and he does indeed stay in touch with the latter.

Batista and The Rock presently pursue their respective careers in Holywood; with the latter making sporadic appearances for WWE, while the Animal has expressed his desire to return to WWE for a program with Triple H.

As for Brock Lesnar, the Beast is the reigning, undisputed WWE Universal Champion, and is on the lookout for his next challenger who he'll face at the Royal Rumble.

Batista may very well be one of the most grateful and classy people in sports-entertainment today. Honestly speaking, should Batista make his WWE comeback today, he'll most definitely get a better reception than he did during Daniel Bryan's 'Yes! Movement' time period.

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