Thứ Tư, 29 tháng 11, 2017

News on Youtube Nov 29 2017

The Importance Of Sex In A Relationship

by Conscious Reminder

It is believed in Taoist philosophy that two types of energy interact with each other:

One is Yin, the feminine energy and the other is Yang, the masculine energy.

These energies are constantly in interaction with each other within an individual and outside

in the Universe at large and most importantly, they are the forces that bring two individuals

together.

Haven�t we all heard people talk about their �other half�?

Well, this talk is based on truth.

The fact is that intimacy is a kind of dance between two people.

So, the first thing that happens is a kind of dance between two people to see whether

they really like each other or not.

These are usually the initial feelings of like or dislike that exists between two people.

After this phase is the more intense phase that comes in a strong deep relationship and

which is about more physical intimacy and care.

In this phase, if you choose from the heart you are in the honeymoon phase and if you

choose from the head, relationships become hard.

In the honeymoon phase, you cannot wait to get a glimpse of your partner.

All you need is to be with them and talk to them, as much as possible.

But, don�t make any long term plans during this phase because our feelings are clouded

by elation and in this overwhelming stage, the decisions made are usually not good.

After this phase ends, we tend to become more realistic.

We look at partner from a new angle and we are critical and sometimes even judgmental

of their actions and choices.

This is the time when you have to increase the strength of the bond with your partner

and you have to focus on your wants and needs as well.

This phase is extremely important and if you spend good time in this phase, your bond will

strengthen and mature.

One of the most important things that we must realize while being in relationships is that

we should not give up on the idea that relationships must be about attraction and romance.

Yes, the modern world doesn�t think in the same way because we have become so practical

and business minded.

But don�t choose relationships because they are convenient or because you are getting

�something� out of them.

Choose a relationship because it makes you happy and calm and satisfied.

A relationship has to make you a better person otherwise the relationship isn�t going anywhere.

Also, remember, when a relationship ends you have to release sexual energy cords because

these are like unconscious agreements or decisions that will stop you from moving on.

You have to let them go.

If you don�t let them go, your future relationship and even your sexual encounters will be haunted

by them and this is certainly not good for your emotional and spiritual health.

Anyways, when relationships end, they cause a lot of pain and grief but don�t forget

that the Universe always has a different plan for you.

Have faith in the Universe, it might be all happening for

your good!

For more infomation >> The Importance Of Sex In A Relationship - Duration: 3:34.

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Toke Makinwa Responds To "Alleged" Relationship With Married Business Tycoon | Pulse TV News - Duration: 1:41.

Toke Makinwa has recently been in the news for an alleged relationship with a certain

business mogul.

She has come out to not debunk or accept the claims..

Toke Makinwa reacted to the flirting rumour on Twitter.

In a cryptic post on her Twitter page, she said, " if I can take the good I can also

take the bad"

In what looked like a shade, veteran rapper, Ruggedman made some comments which everyone

felt he was referring to Toke Makinwa in respect to her failed marriage and mostly the rumours

of her relationship with an older man.

However, Ruggedman on November 27, 2017, come out to deny that he was referring to Toke

Makinwa blaming bloggers for blowing his message out of proportion.

Toke Makinwa recently celebrated her birthday in grand style.

Among those who turned up to celebrate with her include Mo Abudu, Dakota Lawson, and singer,

Omawumi.

For more infomation >> Toke Makinwa Responds To "Alleged" Relationship With Married Business Tycoon | Pulse TV News - Duration: 1:41.

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How To Improve Your Marriage Relationship - Duration: 13:03.

Hi I'm Dr. Paul, welcome back to Live On Purpose TV. Today, how to improve your

marriage in a few short minutes.

As a psychologist, I've had a lot of really

cool opportunities. One of the things that I enjoy the most is working with

couples and marriages. So the question comes up all the time, how do i improve

my marriage? We've got a little video here where we should be able to handle

that whole thing in just a few minutes, right? There's probably more to it than

that but let me boil it down to a few things that I've noticed in my 23 years

of clinical experience and almost 30 years of being married, so I'll add that

to the mix too and by the way, in saying that, I have the best marriage I know of.

I have the best one, I choose to see it that way and that serves me well. Is it a

choice how you see your marriage? Yes, it is. Here's the first concept and this is

a paradox, see if you can wrap your head around this, paradoxes are seeming

contradictions, it's something that doesn't seem like it could be true but

it absolutely is. I'm going to introduce this paradox with a little story about

my son who several years ago, as a young adult, he wanted to buy a car, he didn't

have any significant work history at that point, he didn't have any money,

he didn't have a credit score, nothing yet and as a young adult,

he wanted to get into this car. Now it was only, I think, a three thousand dollar

loan so I took him down to the local credit union, not too far from my office

here and we sat down with a loan officer and this loan officer was taking my

son's information and typing it all into her computer and and she got this dark

look on her face and she turned to my son and she said, I'm really sorry, you don't

qualify for this loan. Big surprise, right? We kind of knew that he wasn't in a

position to qualify. So I threw my hat in the ring, I said, "How about if I co-signed

on that loan with my son? How's that work for you?" This loan officer gets excited

and says, "Oh sir, that would be awesome." So she starts to enter my information, she

gets an even dark look on her face as she looks at me and

she says, "Sir, that makes it worse." Okay, no, I was kind of playing with her. I'm a

psychologist, I do this sometimes. I knew that my credit was wacked, I had been

through some, well read my book, the first chapter of my book is lightning strikes,

it's about a time in my life when I went through some economic challenges that

left me in a position where I didn't qualify for the loan either. That was

kind of funny to me but I was ready for her and I presented a third option,

I pulled $3,000 out of my own pocket, I set it on the desk in front of her and

I said how about if I lend you the $3,000, you lend it to my son and then you let

me co-sign on the note? How would that work for it? She brightens up immediately

and she says, "Oh sir, we could give you really good rates on that." Thank you for

the good rates on my own money, right? It's called a secured loan, the bank is

not taking any risk at all, I'm assuming all of it but I had reasons for doing

that because I wanted to help myself and my son to build up some credit. So you

see where I was coming from on that, here's what I learned, you can get the

loan as soon as you prove that you don't need it. Is this true in the world of

finance? That matches my experience. You can get the loan as soon as you prove

that you don't need it. Now let's shift back to marriage for a minute. Can you

improve your marriage? Can you upgrade this thing? Can you make it better than

it is? Absolutely and you're most likely to improve your marriage as soon as you

realize you don't need to. Okay, now that's going to strike some of you

different than others. I had a couple on my couch here not too long ago, they're

telling me about their marriage and everything that's going wrong and how

terrible and awful it is and they had already talked to an attorney about

divorce. I mean, it was it was a mess, right? And I jumped in with one of my

psychologists questions and all of my questions are loaded by the way, so just

watch out if I ever ask you a question, and I said to them, "How's your marriage?"

She looks at me like I haven't been paying attention, "Doctor you listening to me?"

Do you remember I shared a model in another video, I shared this model.

In fact, you can link to that video, we'll put it in the description here. I shared

this model of evaluation and creation, what I'm talking about is two different

processes in the mind. We do evaluation of our current circumstances and then we

create what's coming. My whole point here is that you can make an upgrade to your

marriage and it best starts in evaluation mode by acknowledging that

your marriage is already good. It is good and I can share stories with people that

will help them to see that their marriage is good. I had for example, I had

a couple I was working with, I just realized they might be watching this

video, oh well, I'll tell anyway. It's confidential, I had a couple I was

working with where he had an affair, this happens, right? With her mother. I know,

don't think about that too much. How you feeling about your own marriage right

about now? Another one where she fired a 45 caliber handgun at him,

another one where he hired a hitman to kill her.

You can't shock me honestly. I've been in practice for 23 years, I've heard some of

the darkness crap you can imagine. How does your own marriage seem when you

compare it to those? See, it goes back to the model that we talked about with

evaluation and creation. You're always judging this thing, just notice that

you're judging it in a certain way. Why? Because that sets up the energy for what

we're going to do to improve it. Think about how you feel when your spouse is

constantly telling you how bad this is. How's your spouse likely to feel if

you're constantly telling your spouse how bad this is? What changes if we shift

that perception, that evaluation choice to how good this is?

And all the reasons that it is. So here's the first strategy that you can use to

improve your marriage and it ties right into this paradox, you realize and

acknowledge and catalog and document the ways that it is already good.

Full, rich, blessed, pick your adjective. Go there and here's how you

can do it, practice a simple gratitude exercise for each of the next five days,

come up with 25 things for which you are sincerely grateful and these can be

anything, they can be hot water, indoor plumbing, puppies and rainbows, anything

that you're grateful for, you can put it on the list.

Now half, at least half, that's 13 if you're doing the math, at least half of

your list every day is about your spouse or your marriage. Your spouse or your

marriage, you come up with things that you're sincerely grateful for.

Now if you're struggling in your marriage, it's because you're focusing on some

things that you're not happy about. I'm asking you to shift gears, to shift

direction, to steer this in a direction that allows you to see what's good

already. That will power up your mind for creating an upgrade. So the paradox is,

you can have the upgrade and you're more likely to have that upgrade as soon as

you realize you don't need it, that it is already good. Okay, so gratitude exercise,

five days, you come up with 25 things for which you're grateful, 12 of those

can be about anything in your life that's awesome,

the other 13 have to be about your spouse or your marriage and don't repeat

anything on tomorrow's list that's on today's list, this will immediately

improve your marriage and it's interesting that it didn't even change

anything, except your focus. You try that, that is a relationship saving activity,

give it a try. Okay, one more. For the same five days, you intentionally give a

social gift to your spouse on each of those five days, you intentionally give a

social gift to your spouse. Here's what I mean by social gifts. I'm referring to a

book by Dr. Anne Demory

and she is the one that identified these

four social gifts. So let's use Dr. Demory's four social gifts. You can pick any

one of these to give to your spouse every day, intentionally, for five days.

The first one is appreciation, this one shouldn't be too hard because you're

already doing the gratitude list. So from your gratitude list, you might choose the

one or more of the things that you're grateful for, related to your spouse or

your marriage and give that to your spouse as a social gift. It is simply

expressing appreciation and be specific. "Honey, thank you for.." whatever it is that

you picked from your list. "Sweetheart, I really appreciate that you.." give them

something from your list, it's a social gift. Okay, that's one, appreciation.

Two, connection. Connection is something that we have in common. With your spouse, you

can pick a common interest, for example, if you if you share a common interest,

the social gift for that day might be something like bringing home a favorite

meal from that restaurant that you both loved. It might be offering to share

a television program that you both enjoy. So that's the connection piece,

it's common ground. The third social gift is elevation.

Elevation is just what it sounds like, you know, an elevator lifts people so

this is something that's intended to lift the mood or the spirits of another

person. Elevation, sometimes it takes the form of humor, laughing, a smile could be

this social gift but I don't want you to get off easy, so don't just flash a quick

little smile. I mean a genuine, elevating smile or humor or fun,

that's elevation and then the fourth social gift is enlightenment.

Enlightenment is increasing their fund of knowledge or information. So you want

to tell them something or give them access to some information that they

didn't have before. It could be in the form of sharing this video with your

spouse, that would be enlightenment, it could be that you just

say, "Hey, did you know..." and then you give them some factoids you know,

something that you heard on the radio or in a podcast or something.

It's increasing their fund of information. Okay, so we've got four social gifts.

Appreciation, connection, elevation, and enlightenment. So each of those five days

that you're doing your gratitude list, also intentionally give one of those

social gifts on purpose to your spouse. How do you improve your marriage?

You can do that.

Paradox is that you're most likely to improve your marriage when you

realize you don't have to, that what you have is already good and rich and full

and amazing and awesome. Find the ways that it is and it immediately improves

for you, that also changes the energy for your spouse who is probably craving a

sense that you are pleased with them and with the situation. You know, I think the

most amazing feeling happens when another person says, "My life is better

because you're in it."

Let's see if we can give that kind of a social gift to our

spouse and then we can start to practice the things that will immediately improve

our relationship.

Will address some other topics and other videos too like

communication and how to work together and how to solve problems creatively,

there's all kinds of resources available. Let's start with this one where you get

to practice that gratitude and give some of those social gifts, let's see what

happens in just a few days.

So is your marriage better already?

I hope it is. Share this episode with someone that you think would benefit.

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