- Hi everybody, I'm Deb Beroset, the influence stylist
and founder of Moxie Creative and Consulting,
which is all about helping you transform from a hidden gem
expert into an influential go-to authority,
making a big impact and I'm really excited,
very excited today, because not only are we kicking off
a series called Conversations with Moxie, which is
conversations with people like our guest today,
who are influencers and experts who inform and inspire,
but today, we have with us Tricia Brouk.
Now, first of all, hi Tricia, welcome.
- Thank you Deb.
I'm so excited to be on the Moxie channel.
- Well, thank you, thank you.
You've got moxie so you belong here.
I'd like to share with folks a little bit about you
so that they can get a sense of who
we're in conversation with.
So, everybody, Tricia Brouk is not only host of the podcast
the Big Talk, where she interviews people who speak
for a living, she also has directed people onto eight
TEDx stages, she is an award winning filmmaker
and director, she's worked with a lot
of big Hollywood names.
Can we name drop a little here Tricia?
- I'll catch 'em for you.
- Okay, okay.
So let's see, James Gandolfini, let's see,
Christopher Walken, Kate Winslet, that's a little sampling,
is that all fair to say?
- It's true.
- It's true.
And also, I just want everybody to know that we scooped
Sirius radio, she's being interviewed next week
on Sirius radio but this week
she's on Conversations with Moxie.
So anyway, getting direct access to someone
with the stature and expertise of Tricia Brouk
is really a treat and I'm really happy to be able to share
you and your expertise with the Moxie audience, Tricia.
- I am so excited to be talking with you today Deb.
- So I'm gonna be firing some questions at you,
questions that I know our peeps want to have answers to,
are you ready?
- I am so ready.
- I know you are.
Okay, so for one thing, there's the question, why do this?
A lot of people have a fear of public speaking.
What's so important about speaking?
- Well, I think the fear of public speaking
is what prevents people from sharing their very important
message and potentially creating global change.
My whole thing is, my mission is about helping people
who have important things to say and do
take big stages and big screens.
So I think if you have an important message
or a story to share, it's robbing the world
if you don't share it.
If you want to make great impact in the world
or have impact on others, you must take a stage and speak.
If you want to champion a cause or an idea,
if you want to raise awareness around
a specific organization, if you want to raise money
for your favorite charity, it's time
to start talking about it.
And if you want to sell your book, simply getting on a stage
and talking about what your book is about,
and getting people excited with your keynotes
so that you can have this companion talk with your book
as authors is why you need to take big stages.
The other part of this that people forget, Deb,
is that when you're an entrepreneur or a consultant
at any company and you're asked to talk about what it is
that you're doing, what it is that you're selling,
what product you're offering, if you don't know how
to articulate and walk onto that stage and inspire
instead of pitch, your productivity, your income,
it's all going to be impacted.
So I truly believe that we all need, at some point,
to understand what it means to speak.
And whether it's on massive stages like Tony Robbins
or whether it's on a panel at a small conference,
all of the content and information that you are sharing
with those people will directly impact them.
That's why I think speaking is so important.
- That's great, that's great.
Now, a lot of the people that I deal with are coaches,
consultants, and other change makers, right,
and one of the things that I've been asked about
is how speaking leads to new business or clients.
- When you take a stage, whether it's a keynote
at an organization or a TEDx all over the world,
you elevate your credibility instantaneously.
You are the expert speaking from the stage,
sharing your important ideas,
therefore we see you differently.
So when you begin to incorporate speaking with your business
you've just raised the level of your game.
- Now, you mentioned to me about somebody you knew
who got a really big consulting gig
out of speaking, is that right?
- Absolutely.
Mari Carmen Pizarro who is longtime client and dear friend
of mine, she and I were working on her keynote,
which was after we had worked on a TEDx together,
so we continued to work but in the different direction
of speaking and while we were working on what it meant
to bridge the gap of cultural leadership,
she's a latina woman from Puerto Rico who works
with leaders in white corporate America,
and we were talking about how to bridge this cultural
leadership gap and when we were in the middle of writing
this keynote, she landed two six-figure consulting jobs
and the reason that she did that and she shared this with me
the reason she believes she did that is because
we had done so much research on what the talk was about
and we got so dialed in on what it is she was going
to express about this idea, bridging the gap
in cultural leadership, so she was able to walk into a room
and just inspire people to hire her on the spot.
So that's why the process of speaking,
the process of writing your keynote and your TEDx,
it takes you to a new place as an entrepreneur.
- I love that, I love that it kind of leaks into everything
you're doing when you work on a talk like that.
It has you more confident speaking about your business
in an elevator, the stereotypical elevator pitch even.
- Absolutely.
You become so much more fine tuned in what it is
you're trying to express about the idea so you're no longer
saying you need to buy this because, it goes to the idea
and that's what people get excited about.
The idea's what's sexy, not the product.
- That's really great.
Now, a lot of people are nervous about public speaking.
I know it's one of the top fears that people report having
so how do you help people deal with nerves?
- This is a great question.
One of the things that I talk about specifically
is that when you have an idea worth spreading
or an idea that you need to share with the world,
if you put your focus on that, you will get past the nerves.
You will not remove the nerves, you might work through
the nerves, but really thinking about why it is you must
share your idea will give you the confidence to then
move towards the nerves.
Once you've moved towards the nerves,
it's all about rehearsal.
You have to rehearse over and over and over again.
And that means in front of people.
The biggest mistake a speaker can make is to rehearse
by themselves in front of the mirror
because there's no stress, there's no stakes.
So you have to create mild stress.
Start off with mild stress, which is in front of your family
they're not gonna judge you if you mess up or forget,
they're not gonna make fun of you.
And then increase the stress.
Start to deliver the talk in front of your colleagues,
and then increase the stress a little bit more
because our bodies, I guarantee you, will betray you.
You're gonna get a dry mouth, you're gonna get sweaty,
you're gonna have butterflies in your stomach.
So if you've never given the talk under those circumstances,
you don't know what's going to happen to your mind.
You might start thinking my hands are shaking,
I don't know what my talk's about.
So you must rehearse under mild stress,
increasing the stress slowly so that you know what
to do when you're in front 50, 100, 1000 people.
And the part about not rehearsing alone is super important.
Do the talk in front of as many people as possible.
One of my speakers at TEDx Lincoln Square,
in the cab ride over to the theater, she did the talk
from top to bottom to the cab driver
and it was just another opportunity for her to do this
in front of another human being and have those nerves.
- You know, that just reminds me, I don't know
if I mentioned it, you also happen to be
the executive producer of TEDx Lincoln Square,
Lincoln Center, New York City, right?
- You were right the first time, Lincoln Square, yeah.
- Lincoln Square, okay, okay.
When you are working with people,
do people come to you sometimes and say I'm an introvert,
I don't think this is for me?
- Most speakers are introverts.
Kristina Hallett is on right now, I see her beautiful face.
- Oh, hi.
- One of my Speaker Salon superstars and she's probably
one of the few extroverts who I've worked with
and she's just stunning on stage and incredibly smart
and so comfortable.
That's not always the case.
I have many speakers who are terrified and they're very shy
but what I try to do for them is remind them the idea
is what's important so focus on the idea that you're sharing
and get the focus off of yourself.
You have to focus on the idea and the audience
and then you can let go of the, they're gonna think I'm dumb
what I'm saying is stupid, all of that self-judgment
that comes in.
- Yeah, you know, I've heard that our brains are wired
to avoid risk but our brains also enjoy
the pleasant cocktail of providing value and that experience
and it sounds like that's what you're talking about
is to focus on that.
- That's a really great point Deb, yes.
The value that you're going to share with the world
by taking the risk of having fear
outweighs your personal fear.
- Yeah, that's awesome, alright.
So talk to us a little bit about what it takes
to be a captivating speaker.
- It's so interesting, this question, because there's this
sort of mysterious, ethereal what makes people captivating,
what makes people, why do some people have charisma
and some people don't?
Well, that's a great question and I do believe
some of us are born with charisma,
some of us have to work for it, but with regards to becoming
a captivating speaker, there are techniques that you can use
to create that feeling from the stage every single time,
even if you're having a bad day, even if you're tired,
even if you're jet lagged,
and I'm gonna share what those are.
So the first thing, know who you are as a speaker.
Don't walk up there and pretend to be somebody
you think we want you to be because that's going to come
across as false and we're gonna turn off,
we're gonna stop listening, we're gonna have this weird
feeling that we don't know why we don't trust you,
but we just don't.
So never try to pretend to be anyone except who you are,
own that, love that, embrace that.
- Great.
- Second thing is I want you to think about speaking
with authority but also with a little bit of vulnerability.
Many times experts take a stage and they're really, really
passionate and really really smart about the content,
what ends up happening is they come across,
A, smarter than anyone else in the room,
which is not what their intention is,
but then we think well, I guess I'm too dumb
to understand this content, or B, they're so passionate
that it comes across as angry, and then we're like
oh my gosh, okay, I'm not gonna, I can't,
I have to turn off.
So when you are the expert and you have authority,
put a little bit of vulnerability in there and how you
can do that is by starting with a personal story.
Something that you can share with us about you
that shows us you're vulnerable and relatable
and another human being.
And then, the third thing is, and this is where
the technique comes in, know what you want
from your audience and how you're going to get it.
And I teach this and it's objective in action
and it's what I use with my actors,
it's what I use with my speakers.
For example, if you want your kids to go to bed
or you want your spouse or your partner
to take out the trash, those are objectives.
How you're going to do it is the action.
So if I want my kids to go to bed, I could bribe them,
I could nag them, I could seduce them, well that's more
like partner taking the trash out, I could sweet talk them.
So if you know the objective that you want
from your audience and how you're going to get it,
when they're not paying attention and they've turned off
and they've gone to their cell phones or they're yawning,
you know that what the action you're using is not working.
So you have to pivot and sometimes people call this
tactics, you have to change your tactics.
If you know that you are not getting your objective,
which is for the audience to adopt your idea
as their own, or to donate to your favorite cause,
switch your action so that you can get that objective.
That is how you can be captivating and how you use
technique to be captivating.
- Oh wow.
Wow, okay, that's cool.
That is cool stuff.
So, when it comes to the topic, if someone's interested
in speaking because they really want to support
their business and they want to share some of their
expertise and value with an audience, is there any advice
you have about how to choose the right topic?
- I think the first thing one needs to consider
is if your passionate about the topic.
It looks like Robin Meyers is on, hi Robin.
If you are speaking so that you can, amazing.
If you're speaking so that you want to drive business
to your company, that's a valid reason to speak.
If you want to drive business to your book launch,
to your book sale, that is a valid reason to speak.
But what's most important is that when you are sharing
this information, it comes from a place of belief,
a place where you are seriously passionate about
the information you are sharing, not just the dollar signs.
Because that's a great outcome if your book gets sold,
but it's really gotta start from the idea
and from the place of passion.
Again, when you walk on stage and you're not being yourself,
people don't trust you, they don't know why,
but they just don't.
It's the same thing if you're going up on stage
and your ultimate goal is to raise money for yourself.
If your goal is to raise money for another company
or for an organization that you believe in,
that is something we can talk about passionately
without feeling weird about, right?
- Right, right, right.
- So it's the same thing, start with the idea,
start with the passion.
- Okay, that is great.
Now another thing that I know people wonder about
is the difference between a TEDx and a keynote.
- These are great questions.
They're very different.
For anyone who wants to learn from the master
what a TED and a TEDx talk, it's TED Talks,
the Ultimate Guide to Public Speaking by Chris Anderson.
He is eloquent and so beautifully descriptive in this book
about what a TED and a TED Talks,
what a TED and a TED Talk are.
They are an art form, they're a different beast completely.
So let me start with keynote.
Thank you Kristina.
Keynotes are usually teaching tools, there's a clear
call to action at the end, they run 45 to 60 minutes long.
They definitely start with an introduction of the material,
you set up what we're gonna talk about,
you hit all those key points, and then you wrap it up
and there's a call to action.
A TEDx is a gift, not an ask, it's an idea, not an issue.
And you want the audience to adopt your idea as their own
at the end of the experience.
So there might be a call to action to think differently,
but there's not necessarily a call to action as to
write me a check or buy my book, it's really a thought,
let's think differently as human beings.
That's the big differences between a keynote and a TEDx.
- Okay.
And a lot of the people that I work with,
that is exactly the kind of thing they want to be doing.
They are change makers and I know that's true
of a lot of people you work with too.
So how does somebody know, oh, by the way,
there's Robin and Kristina talking about how helpful you are
and how basically you are phenomenal at supporting
and mentoring, so obviously there are people
who are raving fans, that's how I learned about you,
actually Tricia, was raving fan Janet Zaretsky.
So how do you know you're ready to take the stage?
- I think if you dream about it,
if you are afraid to say it out loud,
and if your big talk is on your bucket list,
it's time to move it onto the to-do list.
If you dream about making a difference in the world
by sharing your message, if you are afraid to say it
out loud because then you'll have to follow through
and if you've been thinking about it but haven't really
made it come to fruition, that's when you know it's time.
There's never perfect time.
You have to start, you have to chose to start writing,
you have to choose to start coming to events
where you can speak, you have to choose to surround
yourselves with people like Robin and Kristina
who have formed this incredible community
with the New York Speaker Salon.
The support of other speakers, the support of a mentor,
I have seen so many speakers become who they are meant to be
they walk on stage one way and walk off another
and that's why I do this, Deb, because I get to watch people
become bright lights and make impact on other people
and the world and that's what this is all about.
- Yeah.
I can relate to that.
I come at it from a different direction
but I can totally relate to that.
It's fantastically fulfilling, right?
- It is, yeah.
- I mean, and it's also the case that a lot of people
launch major careers from talking.
But here's the thing, if all those categories
you just listed, you know, where you have this sort of
nagging idea, you've got this fire in your belly,
it's on the bucket list, for all of you out there
who you heard yourself in what Tricia just said,
I've got some really great news for you that I'm very
excited that Tricia is coming
to Chicago in just a few weeks.
Woo, woo, woo, right.
We're doing Speaker Salon Chicago, she's leading
the workshop, I'm hosting, and why don't you tell us
a little bit about what is in store for the folks
who are going to be in that Speaker Salon.
- I would love to.
I am so excited to come to Chicago.
I'm from the Midwest so I'm super excited.
The Salon in Chicago is going to be accelerated version
of what I do with my speakers here in New York City,
because we are in a weekend event and it's not
six or eight weeks of us spending time together,
I'm going to give you as much material as I can
without completely overwhelming you.
So we're going to talk about ideas, we're going to work
on content and delivery, and because all of the speakers
are in the same room the entire time watching each other
take the stage, watching each other give,
watching each other take direction from me,
there's going to be direct feedback and the observational
learning from being in the audience is equally,
if not more valuable, than taking the stage.
But within those two and half day of being together,
every speaker will have an opportunity to get on stage
multiple times, practice material, work on delivery,
I will direct them with regards to performance,
I will give them feedback on their content,
we're gonna talk about ideas and at the end of all of this,
I'm going have dinner with you all and we're gonna
pull back the curtain on what it takes to be a TEDx speaker.
And the reason that I love doing that is because
there's so much mystery surrounding TED and TEDx,
and I've been an organizer for two years now,
I'm coming into my third event, and yes, Kristina,
you learn so much from watching other people speak.
It's amazing, it's one of my favorite things to observe
is watching speakers witness their amazing colleagues.
And you can also steal what's good and not do what's bad.
Those are things too that you have to really think about.
So I'm gonna pull back the curtain on TEDx,
we're going to talk about the best way to apply,
how to vet us, because I also believe it's really important
that you know who you are getting involved with
and what kind of a stage you are taking
because there are so many variations on TEDx's
and TEDx organizers, and so I'm gonna spend
the entire weekend supporting all of the speakers.
You are one of them, I cannot wait to work with you,
and really getting as dialed in as possible
with any amount of content, whether it's a keynote,
whether it's an opening to a new talk, whether it's
a presentation you have to give at an upcoming panel,
anything and everything is on the table for us to work on
together and I will be working with you all just like I do
my actors and my speakers.
It's a safe environment where we get to play,
we get to take risks, we get to fall down and get back up.
- Well, I'll be right in there falling down
and getting back up.
Now, one of the things I'm just gonna put out there
right now, I don't have a talk ready.
I don't have a talk.
I do have an intention to do a TEDx talk in 2019,
putting it out there right now, putting it out there.
- Amen sister.
- Alright, and I don't have a talk.
So what do you have to say for those of us coming
to the Speaker Salon who don't have that talk in hand?
- This is where the magic happens.
I'm gonna put you up on stage and I'm gonna prompt you
with questions and I'm gonna have you improvise
a conversation with me in front of all the other speakers,
exactly, did you get a little nervous?
- Yes, I'm feeling the butterflies.
- Right? - Yeah.
- All of the sudden, in that place of complete rawness
and nakedness, I promise magic happens and I've seen it
happen over and over again.
So if you don't have a talk or you don't have an idea,
or you have too many, this is the place for you to come
because I'm gonna be able to help fine tune and guide you
so that when you leave this weekend, you are gonna have
so much energy around a really specific idea
that you can take anywhere.
- Okay, that is, that's gold, that is gold.
I'm really excited.
I'm a big believer of magic and serendipity,
so bring that on.
You know, the other thing, excuse me.
The other thing I want to make sure to mention
that's special about the Speaker Salon Chicago
is that we are booked at a Soho house for a member event
on Friday evening, the 17th of August,
and you're gonna be, I'm gonna be interviewing you
about what it is to be a fearless speaker
and that is only open to Soho house club members
during their performance themed month
and anybody who's in the Speaker Salon Chicago
will be a guest at that event on Friday night,
plus as I recall, you said you were taking
us all out to dinner--
- Absolutely, we're gonna talk about ideas after that.
After that Q and A, we're going to have a beautiful meal
together and talk ideas.
- Yeah, that's gonna be just a wonderful way
to start the weekend, get to know each other
and get in that whole speaker world.
And anything you want to add about just the fact that,
I've been told Tricia, and I've experienced it myself,
that once people are in your orbit, you are just
the most generous person about sharing connections
and networking and all that.
You put me in touch with the brilliant Jamie Broderick,
that's very cool.
Do you just want to say a little bit about
your philosophy on that?
- Thank you for saying that.
I feel very strongly that we are all here to make
a difference in the world and there's plenty to go around.
And if we can continue to stay open to amazing human beings
coming in our lives, then we should also be willing
to share those human beings with other people.
So I love making introductions to any and every TEDx
organizer that I've met.
I go to TED Fest every year and I'm constantly
making introductions.
I believe in the collective of helping and holding
each other up and that's what I do on a set with my crew,
it is, I believe, why I get so much shit done.
- Yep, yep.
- And it's also about leaning on the people you can trust,
people you know have your back, and so yes, I'm all about
sharing my orbit with everyone.
- Yeah, that's wonderful and just wanted to acknowledge
that and thank you and also share with everybody
that that's the kind of human being you're gonna get
to be with you come to the Speaker Salon in Chicago.
And there are limited spots.
It's a maximum of 15 people so that everyone gets
plenty of that individual attention magic
you're talking about, right?
- Absolutely.
- So I'm gonna put in the comments below this,
I'm gonna put a link to the page where people can go
for more information and to register.
You're also free to contact me, Deb at itstimeformoxie.com,
I'm happy to have a chat with anybody who's interested.
Come one, come all, play with us.
I'm gonna be in there, I promise you.
I'm gonna be mixing it up with everybody else.
And it is time for moxie, right?
- Absolutely.
One more thing I want to just share with everyone, Deb.
It's going to take place at the Hotel Monaco,
the beautiful Afinia hotel in Chicago.
So it's going to be a great venue.
We're there all day so we have lunch there,
we have dinner there, you don't have to worry
about the stress of leaving and going and coming,
it's all going to taken care of for you.
- It's a beautiful sexy little boutique hotel you picked out
so thanks for that.
I love that environment.
We're going to be so cool, it's going to be so fun.
And I also understand that people make great new friends
when they do this and form new communities which is,
you know, phenomenal, I'm always up for that.
- Absolutely.
It's a really inspiring and vulnerable experience
that you come being completely new
and that's what I love observing.
- Alright, that's great.
Well thank you again so much for being here, Tricia.
I can't wait to be with you in person
in about two or three weeks.
- I know.
Oh, did we say the dates?
It's August 17th through the 19th.
- That's right and on the 17th, it starts in the afternoon
at 4:30, so you can still work on Friday
and just cut out early to come.
- Absolutely.
- Okay great.
Alright thank you and I will talk to you soon Tricia,
thanks, bye bye.
- Thanks Deb.
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