hello friends I'm Leif E. Greenz and welcome back to my channel I'm really
excited to share today's video with you I had a very special guest a couple days
ago when we recorded this and is someone I live with it's my boyfriend and I just
went over all of the footage and just realized how incredibly grateful I am to
have found someone who's not only doesn't abuse me but who is really
exceptionally good to me and I just want you to know going into this that it is
possible to leave this cycle of repeated abusive relationships and find someone
who is good to you I was completely ready to give up on my love life and
just my life in general before I'd met Forrest and he's changed my life
entirely so here I am now sitting down with this awesome dude who I'm about to
introduce you to be sure to subscribe if you haven't done so already I post twice
a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays around 2 p.m. Central thanks so much and I hope
you enjoyed the video hello I'm leafy greens do you have a
very special guest it is
this is Forrest Forrest is here today to talk about what it's like to be in a
relationship with someone who has PTSD and borderline personality disorder you
know use that term around here do we know no we don't Ellen who are you
taller than you okay so today Forrest is here to be interviewed by his own
girlfriend about post-traumatic stress disorder and how it manifests in a
relationship we moved spots because we're finicky
folks finicky ducks tell us about yourself what do you do what do you like
where are you from I'm Forrest I like cars from California that's my entire
life how did we meet he's putting it nicely yes we met in Phoenix Arizona
last year early last year and now we live in Minnesota where the weather is
just as extreme but opposite that though you like it yeah cool I'm glad you like
it cuz you're still here how and when did you learn about my mental illness I
think pretty shortly after we met the first time you came over to my house
right after my uncle passed away and we were talking about my mom disclose your
own like issues do you remember what you thought of that at the time like did it
freak you out it overwhelm you could you relate to it no I wasn't freaked out at
all I mean I don't know I mean it's like a big part of your life who doesn't like
control your life admirable can get through as well as you deal with
the issues that yeah sorry I won't make that noise it's very sweet
do you remember anything else from that conversation or I know I remember that
conversation completely I feel like that was the first time we'd really talked at
length and realized that we could talk at length about like deeper issues and
neither of us were freaked out by it
oh my god okay we're there any hesitations you had
about getting into a serious relationship with someone with PTSD yeah
you don't really know what that's like you know being around that every day you
know what is it like can be it can be hard sometimes you know but it's mostly
hard just seeing you like in pain like that but it's definitely worth whatever
struggles we have to go through what do you remember it being like when we first
started dating it was like totally fine and like normal until like your first
really bad breakdown and I couldn't get you out from underneath the kitchen
table I was pretty stressful and terrifying
what do you remember about that breakdown you can just be honest I I
didn't know what to think honestly I was just completely unprepared and didn't
really know how to react to that I don't think anybody that hasn't been like
educated in the field of mental health would know exactly what to do that
situation like that because you're just like I don't know I have it
how does somebody prepare for something like that you know I mean this is one of
those things you have to you have to experience it to understand like what it
is you could talk about it all the time
no no let's requestion the sheet oh my god did you get it oh that was the
Tormentor of my first video yeah he's in the video I just made do that now I'm so
glad thank you so much what do you remember from that night
what do you remember seeing and experiencing and feeling and thinking I
remember thinking this is crazy what am I doing here hey what's going on what
what I can't say that your video no it's finite cuts all the time probably not
can I get to monetize these I remember you like talking like a small child and
that was really creepy and then just you wanted to get on the
floor for me trying to pick you up off of the floor and it me just like
crawling under wing chairs and tables and then I ultimately will head for like
water on you remembered that from the previous discussion looks like a way to
like shock your system matter whatever is going on
Stav do you remember how we got through that and how we got to a place where you
learned how to deal with it I mean talking to your therapist about that
definitely helped he came into therapy with me maybe three times mostly just to
meet a therapist who had known me for a while and who understood my symptoms so
that he get a better idea of what was going on with me yeah that was
definitely like a big help and definitely helped me be more informed
about what is going on in those situations and how I can better handle
it what are some of the things that you try to remember to do in those moments
to soothe yourself to soothe me to end whatever is going on I feel like I try
to just like not play into it you know what I mean and just try and
keep myself on an even keel so that like you know like if you're if you're having
a meltdown and then I also have a meltdown that's not gonna help right
anybody you know right at least one person in this situation has to have
some kind of grounding so that you know
what are the daily struggles of living with someone who has si PTSD or PTSD or
borderline whatever you want to call it what what are some of the things you
find yourself running into daily struggles there's a number of them okay
but it's hard okay what do you notice
well we fight yeah if I like come home from work or something and maybe I don't
know what you've been dealing with that day like I don't know if I'm gonna say
something that's kind of like be unintentionally upsetting for you like
if I do say you know something you're like maybe I'm having a bad day too or
whatever the case might be sometimes it can be really easy to like set off a
fight or like a dumb argument or something
mm-hmm you never like last forever that was something that we usually get over
pretty quickly how do we recover from that I mean just like talking about it
helps and maybe give them each other some space for a minute so that we can
cool down and think about the situation individually
and then I talked about it was a calmer frame of mind mm-hmm that's very
important yeah it took us a while to get to that
point I think because you would like take my emotions self way too seriously
or like take it personally when I was freaking out and I was like yeah if
that's not something that you're used to is hard to not take something personally
like especially when it's like a really emotional reaction because usually in
the day of the day somebody having an emotional reaction to you is super
personal how did you learn to not take it personally trial and error a lot of
trial and error definitely I mean to a certain extent that's kind of all you
can do figure out what works and what doesn't I would say we're still in that
place especially with the petty fighting like that's our main thing is just
taking out our bad energy on each other because for a long time we've been
pretty isolated in our relationship we you know just moved out to the country
and we had some stressful stuff happen to me Apple and so the fights were
constant and there wasn't much time to just like decompress and talk about it
and deal with it cuz it was just like stress stress stress yeah yeah it's I
mean they're just there's a lot of stuff that goes on in life and so it's kind of
hard to find time to work on these really like big issues when there's a
whole lot of little things that are just like right up there the surface right
you have to deal with right now right those easy to like I don't know put put
off things that seem less important in the moment like oh how can I accept this
person's mental health issues when you know like the fuck are we gonna do
for dinner tonight right what are some of the techniques you use to communicate
with me yeah hmm like what are some skills you've learned
to help you get through some of these like emotional outbursts and like mental
breakdowns or the dissociation like do you have specific skills for specific
symptoms that you see I think that it's more just you know like you already said
just not taking things super personally and then also if I just like try and
like talk to you while you're in one of those places and like you know maybe you
don't want to like answer specific question you just have to like I don't
look like keep asking you that question until you can like answer it seems like
that signifies you like touching reality again in a way do you feel like some
days are better than others oh yeah yeah some days you're like totally fine
how many issues do you feel like that might be a misconception that people
have that like being with someone with a mental illness means like every single
day is a struggle yeah it's not every day is a struggle it's like some days
are a struggle but a struggle some days - do you think it's possible to be in a
committed relationship with someone who has PTSD or even with a borderline
personality disorder diagnosis yeah what you're getting into I guess or not and
just like plunge into it first that's fine - yeah I don't know you just have
to realize as you go what's going on you know I mean maybe maybe not everybody
can handle it what is that learning process like like weird where do you
learn these things did you read books did you just pick it up as you went yeah
like I read some stuff and like you shared some stuff with me and most of it
I think is just you just pick it up as you go thank you there's not really any
substitute for like first-hand experience are there any benefits to
being with someone with PTSD or BPD like absolutely not
you don't really need a stereo system because you're just constantly singing
but it has nothing to do with my mental health debatable
what what has kept you in a relationship with someone who has a mental illness
like your entire personality like that's just that's just like a little both
pieces yeah it's just one aspect of of your life not the entire thing so I
don't know there's probably people out there with mental health issues that are
still assholes on top of it no and then there's people that struggle stuff but
they're good people underneath so I don't I mean that's not something that
dictates who you are as a person it's just a part of who you are oh my god I
have an enormous pit-stained already
what do you feel like you can learn from being in a relationship with someone
with BPD or PTSD I've learned how healing kpop can be have you learned
anything about yourself yeah no I've learned that it's it's okay to talk
about your issues and stuff like that come on why how do you learned about
like expressing your feelings yeah I mean definitely like acknowledged that I
have feelings more so since I've known parts of my life and then like it's not
actually like this it's not like a scary thing like a lot of people think it is
it's okay to talk about you know bad experiences you might have had or
whatever it might be that you're carrying with you like it's okay to let
that out you don't have to just be all the time what advice do you have for
people who might be in a relationship with someone in with BPD or PTSD buy a
boat ah I guess just like don't what mental illness be like if deterrent for
something that might actually make you happy and like don't let that be the
only thing that you see in someone's life because there's more to it than
that really thanks babe I really appreciate you sitting down with me and
answering these questions and I hope everyone out there enjoyed if you did
please hit that thumbs up button down below and be sure to subscribe it in the
subscribe button and the Bell icon next to it thank you for licking my face bye
thank you see you on Tuesday
crazy not crazy and love but crazy like out of my fucking mind
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